Psychosis
by swimmingcop
Summary: The Courier falls into the Underground. Fortunately, there are plenty of friends to lead the way.
1. Fall

_"Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him."_

 _\- Louis L'Amour_

* * *

 _Fall_

* * *

As a general rule of thumb, if there's enough time to seriously think about whether or not you'll survive the fall, it's probably a fatal distance. And if you're carrying more than a hundred pounds of equipment in weapons and armor, it's definitely gonna kill you.

That realization wasn't lost on me, but still, I had a survival instinct I couldn't just ignore. Even as rocky walls zipped by, I knew and practiced the basics of how not to die from a fall. Don't land on your head, bend your knees, brace for impact and have stimpaks ready. Say a prayer if you're that kind of person (I'm not). The wind roared through my helmet and into my ears. One way or another, I knew I wouldn't need to wait much longer.

And wouldn't you know it, I didn't.

I _bounced_ on impact. Like a rubber ball, but not nearly as graceful. If there were any injuries or some pain from the fall, I didn't feel it right away. I saw double-no, quadruple, and it took me a second to register that one of the lenses in my helmet got cracked.

There was no time to curse about that, because I flipped over onto something yellow and spongey, and that's when the very familiar pain of broken legs caught up to me.

Oh _hell_ it caught up to me.

I would've screamed, yelled, something. Instead I just fell flat on my back and did my best impression of a paralyzed man trying and failing to howl in agony. I was doing a really good job too, up until I somehow heard a voice through the hazy inferno of fibula that had been snapped in two.

"Ouch. That's really unfortunate."

And just like that the pain disappeared. I was standing up, and the Ranger Sequoia that had killed a thousand men was in my hands and about to add one more to its list of victims.

"Whoa! What the fuck?!"

What a coincidence, I almost said the same thing.

It was really hard to determine what exactly I was looking at. A kid, that much was pretty obvious, it was everything else that didn't make sense. I wouldn't have looked twice at a ten-year-old in a striped sweater with a mop of brown hair, but I would stare if there was gray smoke curling off them, with a face that seemed to shift like oil on water, looking for all the world like some kind of apparition.

The red eyes didn't help their case either.

"You're one to talk," they bit back, and maybe I got a head injury because I took a second again to put the pieces together: I didn't say anything out loud, but it responded. Logically, that means this is the strangest drug trip I've ever been on, or this is a ghost.

"Look, I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot. Or feet, in your case. So let's just start over," they said as more mist, vapor, or whatever the hell rolled off their face. Features morphed and blurred into what might have been a smile or a grimace. "Greetings. My name is Chara. And you are?"

Maybe something inside of me snapped and this was me going crazy. Maybe this really was a ghost, or my conscience decided to manifest itself in the shape of a kid. I don't fucking know, I'm not a psychologist. A licensed one, anyway. For some reason that I couldn't explain even if I felt like it, I decided to humor it.

My name's Six. Courier Six.

"Cool!" they said in childlike wonder, eyes lighting up in crimson and completely ignoring the odd name. "Like a mailman?"

I almost laughed, but stopped when I felt chest pain. Dammit. Broken ribs too. But it was rude to ignore a question so I holstered the revolver, pulled out a few stimpaks, and nodded. Exactly like a mailman.

"That's awesome, and yeah, you're pretty much right, I'm a ghost," they said while I lined up the syringes and pushed down on the plunger. _A ghost_ , I pondered as anesthesia and relief flooded into me while they kept chattering and I kept half listening. _Sure, why not. It's not any more ridiculous than what I'm used to_ I thought while experimentally putting weight on each of my legs. It wasn't exactly painless, and _goddam_ I would need a splint but I'd suffered far worse on my journey to-

"How'd you end up here, anyway?" Chara inquired.

That was… a really good question. I remembered walking for a long time. A path of rock and sand that was as unending as it was uninteresting. I kept following it, even as dehydration and hunger pains set in. I hadn't seen anything living in days, and I know I ran out of water somewhere along the way. The memories started to blur, and then…

"I don't know," I said, looking up. Either the sun was directly overhead or I adjusted to the dark very quickly, because the hole in the cavern's roof was blinding, even through the cracked lens of my helmet. I realized that once again, I was in an unknown—probably dangerous—place, with no idea how I got there and no obvious explanation or means of escape. I also noticed the trampled bed of flowers, honest-to-god _flowers_ I was lying in, and suddenly, the absurdity of my situation, the flowers, the ghost kid, the fall, they hit me all at once.

I couldn't help it. This time I laughed and laughed, even if I sounded pretty hoarse. Tears ran down my face and I took off my helmet to wipe them away.

Whether out of being confused or patient, Chara waited until my hysteria fit was reduced to a few tired giggles before speaking, taking the time to stare intently at my face in the meantime.

"You're kind of weird."

My laughter turned into a hacking cough. That's when my body reminded me I was still dehydrated and starving.

"There's a stream up ahead," they offered, still staring. "Not sure about food, but I bet you can find something lying around here."

Yeah, I bet I can too. I looked down at the flowers and licked my lips subconsciously. There were plenty of wild plants that were edible around the Mojave, hell, I know how to make medicine and drugs from almost all of them. I reached down to pick one of the golden flowers and promptly stopped when a pale hand appeared in front of mine.

"You don't want to eat those," Chara stated flatly.

I looked at them again, then at the flowers. I was _really_ goddam hungry.

"It won't help. I suggest you look elsewhere."

There was no mistaking the ice in that tone, or the way Chara's face started to blur again, like runny ink on paper. Whatever, fine. Flowers are bad. Forgive me since it's the first time I've seen one.

"Wait, you've never seen a flower before?" Chara asked, all the anger in their voice gone and replaced with shock.

First time I've seen a real one, yeah. I smoothed my hair down, put my helmet on, and tried to use the low-light optics. Broken. I'd be doing this the old-fashioned way until I fixed them. I reached out, felt along the walls until I found a narrow passage. It lit up slightly, the darkness receding as Chara floated by, trying to grab my attention.

"How?"

Because on the good day the Mojave has fuck-all for plant life, that's how, I thought irritably. Unless agave and yucca shrubs count as flowers, I hadn't seen one before.

Chara fell silent, and I was glad. I didn't really find the kid annoying, but I also didn't want to get distracted while traversing a cave in the dark. I bet it was filled with mutants, or ghouls. It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.

"No," Chara said. "Just monsters, and they're pretty cool most of the time. What do you mean by 'mutants'?"

I paused at that. Not so fast, what do you mean by monsters?

And before either of us could get an explanation from the other, something gold and green popped out of the ground in front of us.

"Howdy!" it greeted. I stumbled out of surprise and from the looks of things, so did Chara. "I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower!"

"The hell?" Chara said, mirroring my thoughts.

It looked absolutely nothing like a plant or an animal should have looked. The facial features were human-like and very obviously not. Too fake-looking. I wanted to say it was a product of radiation or something, but in my experience that level of mutation doesn't end up with a product so… clean.

Is this thing a monster? And follow-up question, should I kill it? I asked, fingers on my holster. It looked harmless, but in a way that I knew it definitely wasn't.

"No, and maybe," they answered, floating a safe distance from the talking flower and frowning. "There's something off about it. I don't like it."

Yeah, you and me both, ghost kid.

"Hm... You're new to the Underground, aren'tcha?" the flower asked rhetorically, in a voice and accent that was far too cutesy for my liking.

I'm more perceptive than most, but I'm pretty sure anyone could tell there was something wrong with the flower's face, besides the fact that a fucking flower was smiling. It looked far too fake, like someone had superimposed the expression onto something and thought the disguise would fool anyone. I let myself get fixated on it so much that I didn't notice what the flower was saying.

"…Ready? Here we go!" The flower said suddenly.

The world faded into a black curtain. Chara disappeared but somehow, I knew they weren't gone. There was a tugging on my chest, and then-

I don't know how else to describe it. A little red heart floated out, and my body joined the rest of the dark, still there, but in the background to the shining red heart. I wanted to laugh at the irony. I didn't even have a real heart anymore, just pumps and filters and cybernetics. But this tiny thing, it bounced up and down at my will, glowing a brilliant ruby red. Despite everything, I still had a soul. Somehow, I felt like that was a more ridiculous revelation than the talking flower.

"See that heart? That's your soul! The very culmination of your being!"

Right, right. Real flowers, ghosts, talking flowers, and souls. Neat. I gave it a nudge, and in response I felt and saw my soul move, gliding through the void at my will. So this is that out-of-body experience I'd read about in a medical textbook. It was so fascinating, to move around as a little heart. I barely heard the flower until its voice started to crack.

"Your soul starts off weak but can grow strong if you gain… a lot… of…" the flower trailed off as it looked to the side, and I followed its gaze to the floating blocky letters that definitely weren't there before.

 **Courier 6**

 **LV 50**

 **HP 675/675**

"U-um," the flower stammered, its smile wavered.

"That's a lot of LOVE," Chara murmured.

...I don't know what any of that means, what's your point? I asked, but didn't receive an answer. Meanwhile, the flower seemed to have recovered, and was choosing to stare blankly at me- no, _size me up_ before it spoke.

"You're pretty good at killing, huh?"

I thought back. To Caesar's shocked expression as his guards lay dead at his feet and I ambled closer to him. I thought of how Lanius looked when I pried that mask off his face and stuck a ripper in his mouth. All those bounties. The Khans. The Fiends. The Syndicate. The Judge. The Legion. Marko. I thought about all the people I'd killed, and how meaningless it was to try and count. It had to be thousands, easily. Maybe tens of thousands.

Flower, you have no fucking idea.

"W-well! Golly here I was about to go through the whole spiel, but it sure looks like you've already got a pretty good idea of how things work!" it said, suddenly cheerful again. Its smile seemed a little wider than before though.

No, scratch that, it was a lot more different now. Its expression turned sickly, jagged black lines shifted into place like fangs. I instinctively reached for a gun, a knife, anything, but then I remembered that I was a fucking floating heart and hearts don't have hands.

"I think you don't need to go through the tutorial. Heh. Get it?" the flower asked.

I didn't.

"I do," Chara said darkly. Honestly, I kind of forgot they were there. Hard to keep track when talking to a flower that grinned wickedly as it spoke.

"I think," it said in some parody of an accent that might have been a southern drawl, "that this is going to be way more interesting if I just… sit back. Watch this little show unfold. If you are what you look like, I think this is going to be _very_ entertaining indeed!"

White teeth sprouted out of its smile and black pits appeared where its eyes used to be. The flower threw its head back and laughed uproariously in that same mockery of what a real person sounded like. I felt my soul retreat back into me—and the flower disappeared into the ground a moment before the aforementioned ground exploded.

God dammit, waste of a round. .45-70 isn't cheap at the best of times, and who knew where the nearest reloading bench was? I reached into one of the many pouches on my riot gear and replaced the bullet anyways, then looked around to find Chara floating right where they used to be. "Flowey ran away," they observed.

I bet we'll find him again. Come on, you said there was a stream up ahead?

"…" The ghost floated by me and nodded. There was a stone archway above, definitely man-made, and we went through it-

"You've killed a lot of people, huh?"

I looked back at the kid. 'A lot' doesn't even begin to encompass it, but yeah. You could say that.

They didn't break their stare. "Why?"

I tried not to look or feel annoyed. Look kid, ninety-nine percent of the time, I was killing slave owners, or rapists, or murderers, or it was just self-defense, alright?

"And the other one percent?"

I kept walking and didn't answer.

They looked down in thought and must not have had a reply to that one, so I started moving again, noting the green vines and cracked pillars. On the upside, plants meant light and water, two things I could really use. On the other hand, I didn't like it. Reminded me too much of Vault 22. At least the air down here was breathable though.

"So, what's the plan?" the kid asked once they'd caught up.

Questions upon questions, is this what it's like to talk to me? Anyways, I don't know. I'm gonna find a way out of here. Go home, and maybe rethink whatever decisions led me to falling down a pit full of demonic flowers. After I get something to drink, of course. Preferably something that isn't contaminated by radiation.

"Why would it be irradi- never mind," they said as I looked around. Two staircases were on either side of me, old and cracked, but they looked solid and sturdy as hell. They didn't interest me though. I was more absorbed with the red... things on the ground. I picked one up and felt it crackle between my gloves before letting the pieces fall. A second later, I realized they were leaves. Real leaves, like the kind from a tree. I considered again if this was real life or I'd died in the fall and this was just the part where your brain hallucinates one last little dream before it shuts off and you die. Or maybe-

(*Crinkling the leaves as the ruins loom above you, you are filled with determination.)

I started, then looked over at Chara. Why'd you say that?

They looked at me like I was an idiot. "What're you talking about? I didn't say anything."

…Alright. Some of my hallucinations don't even try to disguise themselves. Whatever, doesn't matter. To be honest I'm kind of surprised it took _this_ long to start losing whatever grip on sanity I still had. I took a step onto the stairs, into the Underground proper. That flower did get one thing right, I mused. It would interesting to see what lay ahead.

* * *

 _Chara has joined your party!_

 _Chara has given you the Two Kinds of Love perk._

 _Two Kinds of Love: Monsters will take one less ATK and one less ACT to kill or spare, respectively. This perk will increase in effectiveness the more monsters you kill or spare._

* * *

 _A/N: I was bored and had an idea. Not to be taken seriously. Updates will be sporadic (if ever). For the curious, 675 is the maximum health you can get if you're level 50, have the Life Giver and Thought You Died perk, and have 10 Endurance. The more you know._

 _Also, I feel like it was implied given the Courier's companion, but if you haven't actually played Undertale, I suggest you do, if only to understand who certain characters are. Having said that, an understanding of either setting is not required and everything will be revealed at some chapter or another, just be patient._

 _Having said that, if you don't recognize some of the organizations/people the Courier mentioned killing, install the New Vegas Bounties mods and play through them. Credits for that go to someguy2000._


	2. Ruins

_Ruins_

* * *

When not giving short explanations on the workings and history of the Underground as Courier Six set to work on the first puzzles of the Ruins, Chara pondered their situation.

Who knew how long they had been rotting in that patch of golden flowers? Decades, at a minimum. Maybe centuries. So much time spent drifting in and out of consciousness as a- what? A ghost? They almost snorted at the thought, then remembered they lost the ability to do that long ago. The Underground had a few ghosts, and Chara wasn't like any of them. If they were, they would have a form that was visible to everyone, could fly anywhere, and didn't have to spend so much time tethered to their corpse. This 'afterlife', if it could even be called that, had consisted of bouts of awareness whenever a child fell into the Underground mixed with brooding in a dream-state where all they could feel was a dull sense of anger over the betrayal at the hands of their own damn _brother-_

No. Focus on the facts and the present, they stated calmly. Six children had fallen into the Underground over an unknown length of time. None of them could interact with Chara, regardless of how much the spirit screamed, pleaded, or prayed. They hadn't even been able to follow the children for long, presumably because the new arrivals didn't possess enough determination to sustain themselves plus a half-dead spirit.

But Courier Six did.

Chara frowned as the human in question walked into the next room, paused at the sight of a stream, then tore off that menacing red and gray helmet to take a long drink. The children before had been exactly that, _children_. This on the other hand was definitely an adult, clad head to toe in some kind of heavily armored longcoat, who had, amongst other things, several deadly weapons, a soul that radiated more power than all the previous children combined, and the apparent ability to shrug off the pain of breaking both legs in an instant.

They thought that was odd up until they had seen their companion's LOVE.

Fifty. Chara had shuddered at the number, if only briefly. It didn't take a genius to make a rough guess at how much death something like _that_ took. Someone would need to kill… thousands, probably tens of thousands of humans and monsters just to get a fraction of the way there. And a level of violence like that should have belonged to something more akin to a demon than a human.

Yet there Six stood, seemingly just as normal and irritable as any other human they had once dealt with before the Underground. Their personal misgivings aside, there was no denying the sheer amount of determination and capacity for violence their companion wielded, even if they didn't outwardly show it.

Someone like that would be perfect for finishing a job that had been left half-done for far too long-

"Hey! Kid. What the hell am I looking at, here?" Six interrupted.

Chara looked.

Short, white, and ribbiting all the while was the first monster the spirit had seen in a long time, and probably Six's first encounter with a monster at all. They refused to count Flowey, whatever the hell he was.

"It's a froggit," they said, then added, "A type of monster that lives in the Underground."

"Is it friendly?"

The monster croaked then jumped towards Six, who easily sidestepped out of the way. "Froggit hopped close," they observed.

"Alright. New question, should I kill it?"

 _Yes. Take its EXP and-_

Wait, no. Not yet. This was the perfect way to find out what kind of person they'd been stuck with. A test of sorts. One they hadn't put their sibling through, a decision that ended up costing much more than a simple fight with a monster. This was the perfect way to find out who they were truly dealing with.

"You don't have to kill it," they settled on. "You could, though."

Courier Six nodded, turning to face the froggit. Chara watched intently, eagerly trying to anticipate their companion's next move. The froggit stared blankly, as if unsure whether to fight or flee at the sight of those glowing red eyes. Six took a step forward, Chara leaned in closer as a smile crept up their face. And then…

"Hey there. That sure is one… sexy ribbit you've got going on."

Chara paused and stared, completely nonplussed. The Courier shrugged. "Hey, it was worth a try."

Before they could say anything the froggit turned scarlet, ribbited, then bounded off just in time for the ghost to process the situation. "Froggit didn't understand what you said, but was flattered anyway. Froggit also decided to flee."

"Mm." Six nodded and kept moving, passing a training dummy after giving it a sidelong glance. The child stared where the froggit once stood, then floated hurriedly to keep up. That… hadn't been the response they were expecting, but it had certainly worked. "Odd solution," they said at last, hoping for a response.

The Courier didn't say anything, and Chara tried not to grind their teeth in irritation. Instead, they eyed the next challenge, a bridge of spikes flanked on both sides with water, a puzzle that Chara recognized. "Some of the spikes retract once you get near them. You can find the path just by walki-"

They stopped when their companion dipped a foot into the water surrounding the spikes, then stepped in and waded across.

"Or you could just do that."

"I sure can," The Courier responded, then thought, _You know, somehow, I get the feeling that whoever designed these 'puzzles' didn't intend to stop anyone smarter or larger than a child._

Well, that wasn't entirely inaccurate. Chara often wondered the same thing.

 _Kind of surprised at how clean all this water is, though. Not a trace of rads whatsoever._

Chara huffed. Where exactly did Six come from? Chernobyl? They thought about asking, then switched questions once the human dipped one arm into the water.

"What are you doing?"

The Courier drew a hand back, tapping at a screen mounted on the back of their forearm while briskly moving forward. _Checking to see if this thing is busted. I'd hate to find out the Geiger counter got screwed up in the fall._

"The what?" Chara looked at the little device. It was such a bulky metal thing they'd mistaken it for the rest of their companion's armor, but they quickly recognized it as a computer screen for some kind of device that had to be several decades older than them, judging by the chipped paint and round metal casing. "What is that?"

 _Pip-Boy 3000. It's… a tool meant to help people who live underground. Monitors the health of its user. It's also used to detect gamma radiation._

The child crossed their arms and stared at the dubious device. "Seriously?"

 _I'm not kidding. Anyways, since you're so knowledgeable, you think you can tell me where the exit to this place is? I don't feel like- ooh! Candy!_

And once again Chara was left behind as the latest visitor to the Underground dashed ahead and immediately started consuming an entire bowl full of candy left on a small pillar.

Oh that was right, Six did say something about almost starving to death. They forgot about that.

 _Man, it's been forever since I've had any candy. Also, why do my legs feel less broken?_

"That's just how it works down here. Monster food has magical healing properties," Chara explained, stopping when they heard a chuckle.

 _Right. So, just to recap, we're in an underground kingdom of monsters._

"Yeah."

 _And they're stuck here because humanity made a magic barrier that can only be broken with the power of at least seven human souls after a big war._

"Yes." Well, so the story went. With someone who had as much determination and LOVE as The Courier, who knew what was possible?

 _And… their food heals people._

"Correct."

 _Thanks. Just making sure I'm not missing anything._

"No, you got all the important parts." Chara paused, then added, "And since you asked, the exit is up ahead. There should be a small house past all these puzzles. I can help you with them, if you need it."

The Courier didn't, and it wasn't hard to see why. The Ruins had held little challenge even for them, back in those halcyon days when they walked the earth. An adult like Six didn't need any help to get past simple switch and button puzzles, and they didn't so much as flinch when one rock began to talk back before being persuaded to stay on a button. Or when they encountered a web of spiders running a bake sale, only pausing to ask them what a spider was.

"You're pretty thorough, aren't you?" Chara asked once Six finished climbing out of a hole they had purposefully fallen in.

 _Hey, if we got loot out of it, it wasn't a waste of time,_ their companion thought back while stuffing a faded ribbon into a pocket. _Besides, old habits die hard._

Chara sighed, but there was no venom in it. Truth be told, even if they had seen every inch of the place before and their companion wasn't the most agreeable person in the world, they infinitely preferred following someone like Courier Six as opposed to rotting in the ground indefinitely.

But even with The Courier's insistence on checking every nook and cranny, the Ruins were a small place. It wasn't long before they found themselves floating at Six's side, in front of a familiar house that seemed every bit as cute and tidy as the day they'd last-

 _There was nothing but the gentle sound of the crackling fireplace and the clicka-clicka-click of knitting needles. The clock chimed again and Chara rubbed sleep from their eyes as they focused on the pink sweater in front of them. It had been easy enough to make with just a few dozen attempts and several days of practicing, it was just the letters that weren't quite right. They were crooked and uneven. Imperfect, like everything they made. The child sighed in resignation and set the needles aside, maybe they could finish it tomorrow…_

Chara pushed the memories away, refusing to let them surface. That memory was so long ago it was more like remembering a dream than a previous life. They cleared their mind and tried to focus. "That's the place. The way to the rest of the Underground is through there."

Six nodded, twisting the doorknob only for the door to remain shut.

 _Locked._

"Great," the child bit back a curse. "Well, try one of the windows. We're not getting through the door, that's for sure."

 _That's where you're wrong, kiddo._

They eyed the bobby pin and screwdriver their companion held up, and had just enough time to get halfway through asking what the plan was when the door clicked and swung open to reveal-

Oh no.

There was no mistaking the pair of floppy white ears and maroon-colored eyes. The all-too-familiar purple robes. If it wasn't for the sudden flash of shock in her otherwise gentle expression, Chara could have sworn there was no difference between their mo- _the queen_ from who the hell knew how long ago and the monster standing in front of them.

"Oh! I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've seen a human of your age. I am Toriel, Caretaker of the Ruins. How did you get here?"

* * *

I'll be honest, after all the shit I've been there, a talking vaguely-human cow monster seemed pretty tame. Actually, that's wrong. The cow part, I mean. The features weren't quite like that, it was more like this thing I'd seen in a holotape, once. This monster looked more like a goat. About as tall as me, with red eyes (why does everyone here have those?), folding its hands over a swanky purple robe that instantly made me envious. And it had asked me a question.

Well, it would be rude not to answer. Especially if this was its house.

"I got lost, tripped, and fell down," I answered, which was the truth. It's just that I wasn't sure what I had been doing up until that point.

It, _she_ smiled, and something about the gesture seemed so comforting, so genuinely kind and warm that I almost kept my hand off my holster when she spoke. "You poor chil- dear. Surely you must be weary from traveling so far. Please, won't you stay a while and rest?"

It was as if the word 'rest' was a talisman because while the pain from breaking my legs had been muted to a dull throb, a perk of a lot of cybernetics, what must have been several days' worth of fatigue took its toll on me the instant Toriel offered me a furred hand _or maybe it was a paw?_ and began to guide me through her house. I barely took notice of the pristine, if aged features of the house until we were suddenly in a different room. Hell, I didn't even stop to think that maybe this was a trap and I was about to get eaten. I was just too tired to care, and the bed in the corner that I just spotted looked way more inviting than it should have.

"Oh, dear. I hadn't realized the bed might be a bit small for you, perhaps-"

I didn't know what she was going to say, but I did know it couldn't possibly be more important than sleep. I let go of her hand and collapsed onto the bed without a second's hesitation. Even with my legs dangling over the edge and the distant sound of Toriel saying something, I passed out immediately.

* * *

(*You dreamed of a luxurious hotel suite built underground, beneath a casino. You dreamed of laughing and relaxing with your most trusted companions. The peaceful dreams and rest…

it gives you determination.)

* * *

My eyes fluttered once, which was exactly long enough to rip the Ranger Sequoia from its holster and keep it trained on the door before I had time to blink.

Some things you just can't unlearn.

Paranoia aside, for a few fleeting seconds I couldn't piece together where I was with how I got there. Then I remembered I had fallen into a hole for no discernible reason and was trying to escape with the help of a hallucination/ghost of a child but got sidetracked as soon as I picked the lock to a goat monster's house, and it all came together like pieces of one of those absurdist puzzle sets you might find in a pre-war game room.

But to be honest, I learned a long time ago that it made less sense to question the situation than it did to evaluate it. So instead of pointlessly freaking out, I returned the revolver to my armor and took stock of my surroundings and inventory.

Someone, probably Toriel, had taken my helmet while I was out. That was obvious, considering the lack of a red tint on my vision and that I could feel the pillow my head was resting on. A quick glance around the room revealed it was sitting on top of the dresser. One mystery solved. But I felt a little lighter on my left side, and a quick pat-down revealed that Blood-Nap, my trusty bowie knife companion that had seen me through the worst of The Divide and cut down men and deathclaw alike was gone. And unlike the helmet, it was nowhere in sight.

Not very cool of you, Toriel.

Grand theft knife aside, the room was just like the rest of the house. The parts that I'd seen, anyways. The floor and carpet looked a little old, but apart from age it was otherwise spotless, missing all the dust and little tears that tended to pile up on anything in the Mojave.

I got up, wincing at the soreness in my ankles that had been resting on the footboard all night, turned on the Pip-Boy light, and noted all the amenities the bedroom came with. A full-length dresser filled with clothes identical to Chara's, two small storage chests, a drawing of a yellow flower tacked to the wall, some lamps, stuffed animals, and a photograph atop a set of shelves. All of it, other than being slightly weathered from age, looked like they hadn't been used at all.

Even the orange and red wallpaper looked almost new.

Looking through both chests revealed the one by the bed contained a bunch of… small figurines, toy cars, and something called a 'coloring book'. The other contained an odd number of shoes that were half my size at most. It all painted the picture of some kind of pre-war children's bedroom, and in a bizarre way, it was so peaceful I couldn't have felt more out of place.

So naturally I slipped on the riot gear's helmet and set out to find my knife. And find out whether or not Toriel was planning to murder me in my sleep.

As I walked down the brightly-lit wooden hallway and went through the first door on the left, I wondered why she only confiscated the knife and not the gun. And wouldn't you know it, as soon as I walked in I saw Blood-Nap's sheath sticking out of a bookshelf.

"About time," I muttered and clipped it back to my belt before examining the rest of the room. Unlike the previous room the bed here was a queen size, a potted cactus was tucked into the corner, and a book lay atop a desk in the corner.

I agonized over whether or not to read it for a moment, then gave in to curiosity.

'Why wasn't the skeleton afraid of the rain? Because he would always stay _bone-dry._ '

…

…what the fuck. I turned to the start of the book-

'What does a skeleton get if they stay out in the snow for too long and get sick? A _femur_.'

I flipped through the pages, only to find the exact same thing. Every entry was just another pun, some of which were circled in red, and they almost always had to do with skeletons, or bones. There weren't even dates or locations, just more puns. It wasn't long before I had seen enough and shut the journal, trying to keep my breathing level. On one hand, Toriel was almost certainly not the crazy axe-murderer type I thought she might be.

On the other, she was a massive dork.

"You're not wrong."

Oh hey, I was wondering where the kid had gone off to. They were here now, drumming their fingers on the desk as I set the book back to the page I'd found it on. "I was… around. Look, we should go. Are you ready to get moving or not?"

Always.

"Good, I think she's distracted for now. If you make a break for it you can get to the exit."

Hang on, I want to see what's in the room at the end of the hall. The one that says, "under renovations."

Chara sighed impatiently, making it none-too-subtle they wanted to leave immediately. "Why? There's nothing there and it's locked anyways."

Not for long it isn't, I thought, bringing up a screwdriver and bobby pin.

The door clicked and swung open. The kid sighed again. "I don't know why I'm surprised anymore."

Me neither. It's a lot easier than it looks, people put way too much faith in locks.

This room didn't have any lights of its own, and nothing useful as far as I could tell. A large and empty bedframe in one corner, a dresser and wardrobe with all the drawers missing, and a thin veneer of dust coated the desk by the door. It mirrored what must have been Toriel's bedroom, except this one was more unkempt and, oddly, a lot colder than the rest of the house.

Nothing held my interest, and the kid kept bugging me, so I opened the door, leaving me face to face with the owner of the house for the second time in a row. Chara disappeared, apparently too shy to show up, leaving it up to me to carry the conversation.

Fortunately, Toriel spoke before I could.

"Oh thank goodness, I was so worried when you weren't in your room! What are you doing in here? I know I healed you rather thoroughly but your injuries were extensive and you should stay in bed!"

It wasn't the response I was expecting. And healing? I didn't see any bandages on me, though I didn't feel any pain from moving anymore.

"How did you open the door?" she continued, not leaving enough time for me to respond before she closed it shut. "Ah, perhaps I left it unlocked one day and forgot to relock it."

"…Right," I agreed. Seemed strange, the way she asked questions and either forgot about them or answered them herself, but maybe monsters were just weird like that.

She smiled again, that same expression that spoke of a kindness I had seen maybe two or three times in my lifetime. "Well at any rate, I suppose it is a good thing you are awake. You are up rather early, but I think-"

Toriel stopped to catch herself, and I felt my wariness return. She was hiding something.

"Well, I do not think I can hide it any longer, and it must be ready by now. Come!"

I made sure my longcoat covered Blood-Nap's sheath before following her. This time, to the opposite end of the house. Compared to the rest of the house, it was somewhat sparsely furnished. A dining table with three chairs. Fire pokers that, on closer inspection, had been filed down. A bookcase, and an overstuffed chair sitting by a fireplace that crackled merrily.

I was about to follow her through the other door when I smelled something sweet and realized that I had almost died from starvation and all I had to stave that off was a few magic candies from before I slept.

"Surprise! I have baked a pie, to celebrate your arrival," Toriel announced, gripping a gray pie tin in her furred hands as steam curled off of it. The analytical part of me wondered how heat resistant her fur had to be if that pie just got finished, but the hungry part of me just wanted a piece. So I asked.

"Can I have some?"

"Of course!" she produced a plastic butter knife and started to divvy up slices on a plate almost as big as the pie tin itself. She patted her robe for a few seconds, then frowned. "Forgive me, I was certain I brought a fork from the kitchen. Excuse me for a moment."

She was maybe halfway through that sentence by the time I'd torn my helmet off and had thoroughly demolished the slice.

"No need," is what I tried to say, but it ended up sounding like 'rho mead' on account of the pie I'd just shoveled into my mouth because holy shit, I don't think I've ever had anything that tasted so rich, so fresh… or so flaky. It was unlike anything the wasteland could produce, and it was utterly fucking delicious.

Somehow, I managed to get it down my throat and sighed in relief as the roaring in my stomach settled down. "Can I have another?"

* * *

Some of the water I'd bottled and the rest of the pie later, ("It's quite alright, dear. I have already eaten. Feel free to have as much as you like!") and I was finally satisfied, content that I was no longer in any immediate danger of keeling over from starvation. Instead, I was more occupied with trying to act like I wasn't going to throw up an entire cinnamon-butterscotch pie. Giving your stomach nothing for several days then suddenly a lot of rich food is not a great idea.

This led to me sitting at the table while Toriel sat in her chair and talked at length about anything and everything.

"It is so good to have you here, the ruins do not often get many visitors, and there is so much I would like to show you," she was saying as I tried to distract myself from the nausea by fiddling with the broken lenses of my helmet. Good thing the damage wasn't half as bad as it looked, just one quick fix with a little jury rigging, and the red glass shined with light. If Toriel was bothered that I wasn't obviously paying attention to her, she either chose not to show it, or was too happy to notice.

She kind of struck me as someone who didn't often get a chance to talk very much and was trying to make up for it while she could.

"…Um, I was thinking if you were feeling well, I could take you on a proper tour of the ruins. It is a small place, I know, but there are many interesting places to see. I've also begun to prepare some educational material for you."

I glanced up at her, helmet on. Maybe I was reading into it too much, but it almost seemed like her smile turned wistful at that last part. "Well, I must admit I do not know the extent of whatever schooling an adult like you must have had, but it would be good to review, don't you think? We can decide what you know and what to teach after the first lessons. After all…"

I'm not sure where this is going.

"…I want you to have a nice time living here. So please, if there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask."

I tensed, and it wasn't out of nausea. Suddenly the reasons for Chara's insistence that I leave make a bit more sense.

"Ask her to make some tea."

That one confused me. There was no mistaking the sound of Chara's voice, even if I couldn't see them. It's the request that seemed really non-sequitur.

"You need to escape, right? Tell her to make some tea, it always takes her a while."

Alright. Not gonna ask how you know that, but alright. I turned to Toriel's expectant face and made a small show of coughing into my mask before speaking. "That sounds nice. Sorry, I'm still a little thirsty. Do you have any tea, or something?"

Her flash flashed again in that same pensive expression for only a moment before crystallizing back into the kind smile she loved. "I do, yes. Would you like me to make some?"

I nodded, and watched her leave into the only room of the house I hadn't been in before a shadowy presence appeared on my right.

"Now you see why I said we should leave immediately?"

I did. Toriel was a hell of a lot nicer than most people, but the whole 'stay with me forever' deal reminded me far too much of Caesar and Elijah, and I was nobody's pet. I had to get the fuck outta here.

They grinned in agreement, then jerked their head towards the other door. "Exit's down the stairs, like I said. And hurry, she won't be occupied forever."

Don't need to tell me twice. I hefted myself over the banister and landed at the bottom of the staircase before continuing through a dark tunnel. Low-light optics switched on, and I took a brief look around before moving. Kind of a shame we had to trick her back there, I thought. Maybe I could have flirted my way out, like with the froggit thing.

That remark earned me a disgusted look from Chara. "What are you, a furry?"

Relax, I was kidding. And what the hell is that?

They shivered. "The icon of sin. Don't worry about it, we're almost at the end."

Whatever you say.

There wasn't much more to the tunnel. One left turn and suddenly I was staring at a big stone archway emblazoned with the same symbol on Toriel's robes. I looked at the door, and ran my fingers over it. Solid stone, Maybe half a foot thick. I did have some C-4 on me if I had to force it open, but whether or not it would cause a cave-in was an entirely different matter-

I paused. There was a sound just now, almost like paws on stone, and Chara's eyes grew wide before they shrank back into the shadow of the doorway. I sighed, turning around to face Toriel.

She didn't look very pleased with me, to say the least.

"Why..?" she began, faltering, then taking a step forward and trying again. "I had a feeling something was wrong when you asked for tea, and when I came to check on you…"

She took a deep breath.

"Do you realize where that leads?"

I have a pretty good idea, yeah.

"That is the entrance to the rest of the Underground. I have kept it sealed all these years. If you go through that door, you will find the rest of Monsterkind. And they… Asgore will-"

"-Kill me?" I doubted it. Call me arrogant, especially since I didn't know who 'Asgore' was, but I'm really good at killing. Somehow, I got the feeling he wouldn't be a problem.

"No," Toriel said forcefully, and this time her face changed to a glare. "You will kill _him_ , and the Underground will descend into chaos. You think I cannot see the violence within you? I was trying to keep you safe here, as well as keep the Underground safe from you."

I stared.

"I knew it was a foolish hope, to think it would work, but I had to try. Please, I never wanted this to happen." She was still glaring, but her tone turned pleading. "Just… just go back upstairs. Please."

Chara, wherever they were, seemed intent on not offering advice. Whatever happened next was up to me, and all I knew was that I didn't want to stay trapped in an underground cage that barely took half an hour to walk through, end-to-end.

"I'm not staying," I said evenly, revolver in one hand, knife in the other. Toriel's voice dropped, and I almost missed her next words.

"I can see the violence and hatred you carry. I know it is hopeless to stop you, but I must _try_."

The room caught fire. Flames appeared at my back, in front of me, to the sides, boxing me in with Toriel as I dumbly put two and two together.

Fire magic. Of course.

As for the monster herself, Toriel almost seemed a little taller, wreathed in fire, and wearing a clinical, detached expression that belonged more on someone who wasn't paying any attention to the situation rather than a pyromaniac. She seemed intensely focused on nothing in particular But when I looked at her…

"There's nothing I can say to convince you otherwise, is there?" I asked, because I knew what she was thinking. Slightly crazy from isolation and a little unhealthily-obsessed with puns or not, Toriel had this look in her eyes, the same kind I'd seen in people like Ulysses and Joshua Graham. She was pretty far from either of them, personality-wise, but there was no mistaking the steely look of determination in her gaze. The kind that refused to be dissuaded.

I still asked anyway, though.

"Is this really what you want?"

Her paws lit up with fire. I sighed, but through the filters of the mask it sounded more like a groan.

"Alright then."

Two shots rang out, and two fist-sized holes appeared in the center of her robes. The firelight dimmed at once, and Toriel dropped to her hands as shock played out on her face. She wasn't bleeding, but there were a pair of black spots on her now, these craters that just looked like staring into a black screen filled with television static, and even without really understanding how Monster biology worked I could tell how grievous it was. Slowly, ever so slowly, she took a shaky breath, and looked up.

I stared into her rust-red eyes, she stared into the glowing crimson of my helmet. And…

And…

…

You know, I never wanted to do this. Did I ever mention that?

I never asked to get shot in the head and buried in a shallow grave for the package I carried. Didn't want to get turned into a cyborg, abducted at the Sierra Madre, get involved in a tribal war, or traverse the atomic wreckage of The Divide. Hell, when all this started, I wasn't even concerned with the fight for control of Hoover Dam, and if I'm being totally honest, I never wanted to execute a deluded old woman living in an underground house.

But those weren't the sort of feelings that could be processed in the moment, and I'm pretty sure she would have died anyways from when I already shot her.

So maybe I felt a flash of something before I pulled the trigger again. It might have been something in response to her expression, this odd mix of disappointment, resignation, and sorrow that always comes to those who know they're staring at death and there's no way out. It might have even been regret, that things didn't have to come to this, that maybe there was some other way out. If I'd tried harder, if I broke through the door a little bit faster, none of this would have happened.

But that was 'if', not 'now'. I said a prayer for the both of us, but it seemed kind of hollow.

One more bang, deafening in the small tunnel, and Toriel was no more.

Her body just kind of disintegrated, becoming a gray-white pile on the floor. Another heart, this one a solid white seemed to rest just above it—before it shattered and fell into the pile. I stared at it, holstered my gear, then walked away. The door was unlocked now, and I didn't know what to make of that. On the other side was Chara, who looked at me as if to speak up, before falling silent and floating after me.

We didn't say anything for a while.

"You okay?" I eventually asked.

They just kept their eyes on the floor as we walked and refused to speak.

(*Neither of you had anything to say.)

* * *

 _You gained 150 EXP_

 _EXP to LV 51: 186,350 / 193,750_

* * *

 _A/N: You can calculate XP required for the next level using the formula 25*(3 * n + 2) * (n - 1), where n is the level you're calculating for. And aside from the little flavor text at the end of chapters, game mechanics will not come into play in any serious way._

 _I didn't say this before, so a few caveats that we ought to get out of the way, just to establish what it is you're reading._

 _This story is primarily focused on Undertale and how the characters interact with an outside element (The Courier) to explore different sides of characters that are already established. If you're expecting a lot of shit from Fallout to appear in this beyond the Courier (and a few other things I don't want to mention right now), or a replication of the base game itself but with the Courier, then you're going to be disappointed, because that's not happening. Tldr; This is going to be more than just a novelization of the game with the Courier as the protagonist, but less than having everything from Fallout appear in the story._

 _On a side note, the first chapter has had parts rewritten to be less terrible, but still of the shitty quality of writing that I've been known to produce._


	3. Snowdin

_Snowdin_

* * *

Even at a brisk walking pace the rest of the tunnel passed by in an unremarkable silence that left me with plenty of time to think. _Too_ much time, in fact.

I tried to busy myself by staying alert and aware of the surroundings, watching for ambushes that never came. There was a brief moment where I walked up to a grassy patch and tensed, feeling an acute sense of danger that the flower might come back and I should be ready to blow its head off.

But nothing happened. I walked over the grass, through a cracked stone arch, and threw a glance back to confirm that everything was just as empty as before. And it was. The only thing in the underground clearing was me, a spirit that wasn't in much of a mood to talk, and the kind of thoughts that only crop up whenever you kill someone who probably didn't deserve to die.

If you don't know what that's like, good. I hope you never have to make the kind of decisions I did.

I stepped in front of a pair of cracked and heavy purple doors that looked older than most Vaults, and I pushed. Despite its ancient appearance, it swung open noiselessly with little effort on my part and revealed two things, both of which set me on alert immediately. The first was a near-desolate, snowy landscape. A snowbank and sheer cliff was opposite a line of dead trees so withered and brown they wouldn't have looked out of place in some parts of the Mojave.

"What the hell," I muttered, blinking. Since when did caves have their own weather systems?

The second thing was-

"There's a camera hidden in that bush," Chara noticed.

I didn't look at it directly so as to avoid tipping off whoever was looking, but I spotted the lenses peeking out behind branches at about the same time as Chara. Just to test, I put on a brief show of looking around and pretended not to notice the fact that the camera followed my movements.

Great, we're being tracked and I can't even tell who's doing it.

And unlike the tunnels of the ruins the cavern ceiling here was high above everything, sporting a bright, but not blinding, yellow light at the top of the rocky ceiling that couldn't have led to the surface, couldn't have been the real sun. I didn't even bother to ask Chara about there being snow or the small artificial star in an underground chamber so big it had its own weather system. I'm sure the answer was just 'monster magic' anyways.

The kid shrugged, "I mean, you're not far off."

Yeah I don't even know why I ask questions anymore. I started walking on the path in front of me before-

Hey, do you hear that?

"Oh, you're hearing things again?" Chara asked, and it might be a little mocking but I was just glad they're talking again after what happened in the Ruins. Even if their voice sounded a little more distant, and I don't mean volume-wise.

By the way, I don't even think I heard anything just then. It just felt like there was something lurking around here, that 'someone's looking at you but you can't see them' feeling, and that's not a sense you want to make a habit of ignoring.

I looked forward. Snow and dead trees. A bridge of some sort was up ahead.

I looked behind me. Snow and dead trees. The door to the ruins, and a branch I'd walked by a few seconds ago. Nothing new.

"Don't take this the wrong way pal, but you might just be paranoid."

Maybe they were right. I turned away.

The branch behind me snapped loudly, and I fought not to whirl around and shoot whoever was there. Instead, I paused and turned slowly. Only enough to see the shattered twig in my peripheral vision and not enough to clue whoever was around that I was looking for them. My helmet flickered through vision modes, but the entire forest was a cold midnight blue devoid of any heat signatures on thermal, and I didn't bother trying nightvision. Even if the cavern's magical sun wasn't that bright, I'd just get blinded from all the light reflecting off the snow.

Speaking of snow, a chilling wind blew through the area, making me shiver and pull the longcoat closer. Years in the Mojave hadn't done wonders for my cold tolerance, and this climate was just about the opposite of a desert.

"You okay?" Chara asked as they appeared at my side, concerned.

I nodded. I'd been to Jacobstown and the Deep Creek Mountains in Utah. A little cold weather was nothing more than a discomfort. I'm more worried with whoever's stalking us.

"If you say so," they said, shrugging their shoulders as they-

Alright, I didn't ask earlier because I didn't care and it didn't seem important, especially now when someone is definitely watching us. But at this point it's getting kind of old to keep referring to you as 'they'. Are you a boy or a girl?

Of all the things I've said and done, I didn't expect that to garner such a hostile response. Chara's face dripped like spent oil and bloodied skin, glaring at me as if I just murdered their mother. "Why's that so important to you?" they growled out.

Jeez, fine. You don't want to tell me, I got it. I was just asking because like I said, it's a little annoying to keep thinking of you as 'kid' or 'they'.

"This coming from someone called 'Courier Six' or some variation of it," they shot back, but their face had normalized. Slightly.

Fine, point taken. We both have names that aren't very convenient to refer to mentally.

Chara sighed, whether in sympathy or frustration, it was hard to tell. "I know. Look, everyone's got their issues, and I don't want to talk about mine right now. Maybe not ever. I doubt you want to talk about yours."

Ain't that the truth. I was halfway through working on an apology for the whole thing when I heard the distinct sound of a footstep scraping on snow, directly behind me.

I sneak up on entire packs of deathclaws, wipe out Legion encampments without ever being seen by anyone but the last man standing, and the first thing in here catches me by surprise. I was getting sloppy.

"You."

It was a low voice that was more felt than heard, like a subsonic rumble, and my hands twitched as I fought the urge to drive a knife through the ribs of whoever it was that decided to stand behind me.

"Why are you so tense? Just turn around and shake my hand. Come on, buddy…"

I turned around with one hand on my holster and the other on Blood-Nap's grip-

Wait, what the fuck?

"…It's rude to give a friend the _cold shoulder_."

Maybe I should reiterate, because once didn't really cut it; what the _fuck_.

It was about four feet tall, wearing a blue jacket, shorts, and what I recognized as… slippers? All of these details paled in comparison to the fact I was staring at a living- _smiling_ bleach-white skeleton.

Hell, who knows if it could even be called that. I narrowed my eyes and stared into its own. I've seen more than a few corpses and skeletons, and none of them had a smile that came close to wrapping around the entire skull, or such big eye sockets with a pair of twinkling lights dancing in the center.

"aw c'mon, not even a chuckle? well anyways, sorry for spooking you. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

I had no idea how to even respond to this. Judging by their speechlessness, neither did Chara.

We stared at each other for a while until he coughed and lowered his arm. "uh, you know buddy, that was supposed to be the part where you shook my hand."

…Fuck it, I already dealt with ghosts and monsters before, this one just happened to look like a skeleton.

"I'm The Courier." At a loss for what else to say, I added, "I'm a human."

Sans didn't so much as move a muscle on his smiling face in acknowledgement. Or a bone, I guess.

Christ. Don't get me wrong, I could _accept_ what was happening in front of me as real. After everything I've been through, this wasn't even close to the strangest thing that ever happened to me.

Didn't make it any easier to process though.

"really?" Sans' voice broke me out of that thought. "because speaking of humans, i'm actually supposed to be on watch for them right now."

Was this a guard? If so, I wasn't too worried about my chances on getting out of here. Still kept a hand on my knife though, I was in no mood to underestimate a potential enemy and get killed for it.

"but having said that, i'm not too enthusiastic about the job. i hear it's a lot of hard work to capture a human, and hard work just isn't my style."

I didn't relax at all.

"but i'm not who you need to be worried about. see, my brother, papyrus, is a sentry out here too. and he's a human-hunting fanatic."

Then your brother was about to retire early, I didn't say.

"don't worry though, he's harmless, even if he tries not to be. say, i think i see him coming this way. come on, follow me. i have a great idea."

I threw a glance at Chara, who made a face as if to say 'might as well', which pretty much summed up how I felt towards this whole thing. I followed the skeleton over a rickety bridge lined with an oddly-spaced series of wooden beams before we stopped at a clearing.

"hm, think you can hide behind that inconveniently-shaped lamp?" Sans asked with a gesture to a lamp, lying in the middle of a clearing.

Truth is, I could hide behind a fucking flagpole and no one would notice. I've done it before.

"Wait, seriously?" Chara asked while I just nodded to the skeleton.

"awesome," the skeleton said, not noticing the spirit. "just stay hidden, act natural, and leave this to me."

Natural. Right, I thought as I crouched behind the lamp. Even staying low, my head was well above the lampshade, but I had a real knack for getting away with remaining undetected when it should have been impossible. And sure enough it wasn't a long wait before a tall figure came sprinting in the distance, rapidly approaching.

I frowned. Hang on, how the hell did Sans see him all the way from back at the bridge if we can barely see him from here?

"Beats me, he kind of creeps me out," Chara said. "And not like Flowey either. This guy's a different kind of weird."

Yeah, I hear you-

"SANS!"

Holy fucking Christ.

"THERE YOU ARE! I WAS JUST FINISHING UP MY PATROL THROUGH THE ENTIRETY OF THE UNDERGROUND WHEN I SAW YOU STILL. HADN'T. RECALIBRATED. YOUR PUZZLES!"

I thought we'd filled our 'what the fuck' quota for the day (and the rest of the week) but apparently I had vastly underestimated the Underground's capacity for being incomprehensibly zany. It was another skeleton monster, and in hindsight, I should have expected that when Sans mentioned a brother. It wore armor that almost resembled the Y-17 trauma harnesses from Big Mountain, but with disproportionately tall and narrow snow-white bones, and more decorative garb, including a red scarf that billowed behind it theatrically. Like something out of a Pre-War comic book.

And it had a voice that… honestly, I don't know how to describe. In stark contrast to Sans' ability to speak without moving at all, this one's teeth chattered like some weird cross between a machinegun and a typewriter.

"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE? BY ALL APPEARANCES YOU'RE JUST STANDING AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION!" the skeleton, that I could only assume was Papyrus, chattered.

"What the shit," Chara muttered softly. I was half tempted to echo that statement because out of all the horrors I'd faced, nothing prepared me for this. I don't think anything _could_ have prepared me. I was almost reminded of when I met the Think Tank, but at least 'brains in a robotic casing', insane as they were, still made _sense_ in some small way.

Sans was completely unfazed.

"oh you know me bro, i'm just _chilling out_ in the snow."

Sans winked right at me, and I wondered how his bones could do that before reminding myself it was either magic or I was going insane, and questioning wouldn't help in either case.

Meanwhile, Papyrus crossed his arms and fumed.

"SANS! THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SILLY PUNS. A HUMAN COULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE! HOW WOULD WE POSSIBLY DETECT AND CAPTURE THEM IF YOU'RE TOO BUSY MAKING JOKES?"

"i dunno, have you tried looking at this lamp? might help."

My confusion gave way to wariness in an instant, and stopped wondering if I was losing my mind and started thinking about how many rounds it would take to kill Sans.

"SANS DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, HOW COULD A LAMP POSSIBLY BE GERMANE TO THE TOPIC AT HAND?" Papyrus asked in exasperation, voice loud enough to mask the 'click' as I pulled the hammer back on the Ranger Sequoia.

Please, Sans. Sell me out. I dare you.

Instead, the short skeleton smiled wider, as if everything was some kind of joke, and leaned forward. "no really, you should take a look at this lamp. it's no ordinary run-of-the- _mail_ light fixture."

"…You've got to be kidding me," Chara said flatly. I lowered the revolver, too stumped to keep aiming.

Papyrus just crossed his arms and glared silently like the pun was a personal offense. Which it was.

"c'mon pap, that one was good. at this rate, i could make a killing from my stand-up _courier_."

"SANS!"

"relax bro, there's no need to cry over spilled _mail_.

"SANS!"

"yeah, you're right. if i make one more mail pun, i'll go _postal_."

"AUGH!" Papyrus stamped a foot down and shouted, even louder than his normal volume. "WHY IS IT THAT A NOBLE AND HEROIC SOON-TO-BE ROYAL GUARD SUCH AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS TO DEAL WITH SUCH A LAZYBONES BROTHER?"

"maybe the lamp will _enlighten_ you."

The taller skeleton huffed- _wait, did it even have lungs_ -and then shook his head. "YOU! ARE! INCORRIGIBLE! I'M GOING TO PREPARE MY RANDOMLY-GENERATED PUZZLES FOR THE DAY, AND YOU HAD BETTER BE THERE SOON TO HELP. THEN ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS OF BEING A ROYAL GUARD WILL FINALLY BE REALIZED! TODAY'S GOING TO BE THE DAY WE FIND A HUMAN! I CAN FEEL IT…"

Papyrus leaned forward and Sans showed visible activity for the first time in the conversation, looking up to meet his brother's eyes.

"…IN MY BONES. NYEHEHEHEHEH!"

Then he disappeared behind a tree before showing up again with one last "HEH," and ran away.

…What the hell did I just witness?

"he's gone. you can come up now- hey, where'd you go?" Sans asked, looking around.

You know what, never mind. This is just more stuff I can deal with later. There are bigger things to think about right now. I stood up from behind the lamp, slipping the pistol back in its holster before I cleared my throat.

You would think he teleported, the way the skeleton snapped his head back to me. "huh, you're pretty skilled at sneaking."

So I've been told. I just shrugged in reply.

"heh. that's cool. listen though, i hate to ask a favor of someone i just met, especially for putting up with that whole thing just now, but i've been thinking. see, my brother's feeling a little down lately, and i know seeing a human would really cheer him up. so do you think you could just play along with whatever he comes up with? don't worry, it's nothing harmful," he quickly assured me before I had a chance to respond. "just play pretend. thanks a bunch, i'll meet ya up ahead."

Then he walked off in the opposite direction Papyrus had gone, without waiting to see me nod stiffly. The instant he was out of sight, Chara appeared.

So, what do you think?

"I don't trust that guy, if that's what you're asking," they answered. "If you're asking whether or not it might be a trap, I'd go with 'maybe', but I doubt it. Those monsters were… a little more eccentric than the ones I remember, but they aren't really the violent type. Just proceed with caution for now."

Eccentric. Sure, let's go with that. But they have a point, and for all the… I still don't know how the hell to describe Papyrus, but for all his oddities, he didn't seem like a bad sort. I lapsed back into silence and thought, which Chara took as a cue to keep explaining things as my guide.

"There's a small town up ahead, I think," they offered. "It's not too far from here, you could easily make it in a few hours, tops. Just follow the path."

Well, I'm always a fan of good news. My boots crunched on snow as I-

(*Knowing you are ever closer to the exit of the Underground, you are filled with determination.)

I stilled, fighting the urge to take off my helmet and run a hand over my head. It wouldn't be worth letting in the cold air. Chara hovered close and arched a ghostly eyebrow. "What is it?"

Nothing, just the cold. Come on, I don't feel like staying out here for long.

* * *

Sans walked towards the door to the Ruins, slightly faster than he normally did.

That 'Courier' human was more than just a little creepy for several reasons, not the least of which was from their refusal to shake his hand, or apparent ability to hide from him in plain sight. No, what was really unsettling was the sheer amount of anger that hung about them, kept in check by who knew what. It was a feeling he could sense whenever he stood next to the human, or looked into those glowing red eyes. A great and terrible mix of fury and control. He had always considered himself a good judge of character, which only made it that much more surprising when apart from acting strangely, the human seemed almost amicable.

The doors loomed ahead, and Sans slowed his pace. Maybe he was just overthinking things, he'd been wrong before. And anyone who could sit through his hilarious jokes and still agree to help with Papyrus couldn't possibly be that bad of a person. He pushed his misgivings about the Courier to the side for the moment. It would take a while for the Courier to catch up with his brother, and besides, he reasoned, if they had gone through the ruins, they had probably met the old lady. And he could always ask for her opinion before making any snap judgements about the human.

After all, he made a promise.

Sans stopped himself at the door, not bothering to check the time to know he was only a few seconds early to a meeting neither he nor the old lady had ever missed.

"i ever tell you how cold it is out here?" he started, pacing in front of the door, "don't worry though, i'm staying warm thanks to all the _fur_ trees out here."

Silence. Not even a chuckle. It was unusual, so completely uncharacteristic that the only possibility was that the old lady just wasn't there. Sans felt a twinge of nervousness run down his spine before glancing at his watch. He was right on time, and while there _had_ been a few occasions where both of them had been running late, they were never more than a minute off.

Trying to ignore the sensation of worry, the skeleton tried again.

"do you ever wonder why butterflies only seem to like black and white movies? it's because they can only see in _monarch-chrome_."

The Ruins were as silent as a tomb.

Sans suddenly felt like his chest was constricting in on himself as he tried one last time.

"knock knock."

No response. He rapped his knuckles against the stone again.

"knock knock?"

The only sound was the wind, blowing softly. Sans raised his fist to try again, more out of desperation than anything else.

"knock-"

The door swung open before the second knock, almost making the skeleton stumble at the lack of resistance. It wasn't locked.

The door had _always_ been locked.

Sans stared as the purple stone opened to reveal a darkened hallway. He had never given much thought into what lay on the other side, besides the old lady. But he never expected his first trip into the stone tunnels to be like this. And he definitely didn't expect to be filled with so much dread.

It didn't keep him from rushing through the long corridor before coming to another set of purple gates. He didn't bother to push them open, taking a shortcut a few feet into the next area.

There, in the middle of the room, was a pile of dust and two small yellow tubes. It took him only a second to realize just who the dust belonged to, and where the bullet casings on the ground had come from.

Sans walked away from the door to the Ruins, knowing what he had to do.

* * *

"SO AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE…"

Chara and I exchanged confused glances.

"Is he… talking to himself?" they asked, looking just as confused as I felt.

Papyrus stood a dozen yards away, still clad in that white and orange armor that looked more decorative than practical. More to the point, he was completely alone, trying to converse with the trees, and was in my way.

I coughed politely and held up a hand to wave. Sans asked me to 'play along' with the guy, and as far as I could tell, it was a harmless request. His brother didn't seem like a malicious sort, and I could definitely sneak by him if he wasn't, so why wouldn't I?

To be honest, I was starting to rethink that decision.

Papyrus's head whipped around the micro-instant I coughed, and he gasped.

"OH MY GOD," the skeleton managed. "ARE YOU… A HUMAN?"

I followed his gaze—which was about twenty degrees away from me—and staring directly at a rock off to the side.

"That's… a rock," I said evenly.

"OH," he said, not even acknowledging me in favor of looking crestfallen at the answer.

I shifted uncomfortably. Somewhere, in the mess of filters, pumps, and circuitry that had replaced my heart, I felt bad. God dammit. I didn't know how old Papyrus was, or how monsters measured age, but there was no denying he was just a kid. And even if knowing I was a human was going to lift his spirits in a few seconds, I still felt like I had spat on his dreams for a moment. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"Uh, hey," I tried again. "What's that thing next to the rock?"

Papyrus barely lifted his head, but as soon as I came into view his eye sockets widened. "WAIT… THAT THING IS TOO ODDLY-SHAPED TO BE A ROCK, SO IT MUST BE A LIVING CREATURE. I RECOGNIZE ALL THE MONSTERS IN SNOWDIN AND IT ISN'T ANY OF THEM, SO BY DEDUCTIVE REASONING, IT CAN ONLY BE…"

Papyrus looked in every direction before leaning forward to speak in a tone that wasn't nearly as secretive was he was trying to make it.

"THING-NEXT-TO-THE-ROCK, ARE YOU... A HUMAN?" he asked at last, trying and failing to contain his excitement.

I nodded.

"WOWIE!" He said, grinning wildly. It was hard not to do the same on my part. "I FINALLY- I- I'M GONNA BE SO... SO... POPULAR! UNDYNE WILL- SANS WILL-"

He paused at that, glaring back at the tree he'd been talking to before I announced myself.

"WELL ACTUALLY, HE'LL PROBABLY BE JUST AS LAZY AS EVER. FIRST HE DOESN'T SHOW UP TO GOSSIP ABOUT THE ROYAL GUARD AND FORCES ME TO MAKE DO WITH TALKING TO MYSELF, NEXT HE ISN'T HERE FOR WHEN I CAPTURE MY FIRST HUMAN."

I stopped smiling. Not that he ever noticed.

"OH! SPEAKING OF… HUMAN!" he suddenly shouted, striking a pose and reinforcing the idea that he was born straight from a comic book. "BY ROYAL DECREE FROM KING ASGORE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM ORDERING YOU…"

I really, _really_ didn't want to kill this guy.

"…TO PROCEED UNIMPEDED THROUGH THE FOREST!"

Refusing to give me any time to respond, he continued. "DO NOT MISTAKE MY CARE FOR COMPLICITY, HOWEVER. THE ROAD AHEAD IS A DANGEROUS ONE, FULL OF JAPES! JOKES! AND PUZZLES! ALSO, I AM GOING TO STOP YOU AT AN INDETERMINATE POINT IN THE FUTURE, JUST YOU WAIT! NYEHEHEHEHEH!"

He ran down the path ahead, and I walked after him.

Not two seconds later, the misty form of Chara appeared in front of me. "If you want, we could probably leave him behind. I don't remember much of this area, but I remember that it doesn't take that long to traverse."

We could, but I'd feel bad about it. Besides, you know I prefer being thorough.

Chara sighed. "You know, for someone trying to get home, you sure don't act like you're in a rush."

Whatever response I was preparing died when I rounded a corner and almost shot the short skeleton waiting there out of surprise.

"hey," he greeted me with a smile that I'm not sure he ever dropped. "that went well. so, what do you think about my brother?"

Call me crazy, but despite the fact he's holding the exact same pose and tone of voice as before, I have the strangest feeling there's something about Sans now that seems a little bit off from a few minutes ago.

"That's because there is," Chara said warily.

Glad that for once, it wasn't just my imagination, I focused back on Sans. "He's nice. Kind of like a child, but not in a bad way," I answered honestly.

He nodded. "yep. lots of people say that too. but i wasn't just asking to get your opinion. i just wanted to tell you that if you were thinking of doing something to the monsters here…"

And suddenly it's like the whole world takes the backseat to everything except Sans' eye sockets. The little lights that seemed to dance from side to side were _gone_. Replaced by an inky blackness that doesn't seem to end. It's like staring into somewhere as cold as the dark side of the moon, into something that never knew life or warmth.

 _"You would have a bad time."_

I blinked.

Sans was gone.

"What the fuck was that?" Chara asked, suddenly at my side and staring where Sans used to be.

Dunno what you expect from me, I thought you were the expert on the Underground.

"I _am_ ," they said defensively, oily lines of ink blurring their face. "I know a lot about the Underground as a whole. That doesn't translate to being omniscient. I certainly wasn't aware of any spooky skeletons."

I sighed and started to move. Well, Sans' apparent ability to teleport aside, this wasn't all that worrying. I wasn't planning on killing anyone here. Actually, considering that was all he really said, there's not much need to change the plan of 'search everywhere and leave', is there?

" _Please?_ " the kid begged, and this time I paused to look at them. The way they spoke, with curls of smoke drifting all around them, it was somehow the most emotional the spirit had ever gotten. "I really don't like being around that guy. Can we just go?"

A few seconds passed where I considered telling them off, then I nodded.

Alright, fine. I don't know how much use it'll be considering the guy can literally teleport, but I'll try to hurry out of here. We'll do Papyrus's puzzles or whatever, then leave.

I may as well have promised to bring them the moon judging by the relieved and genuinely happy smile on Chara's face. "Thank you," they breathed out.

No problem. Besides, I've never been a fan of the cold.

Chara laughed a little, but not unkindly. "Don't worry, Waterfall is right past this area, and it's not nearly as cold. A little wet, though."

I kind of guessed from the name. Ruins, Snowdin, Waterfall, they don't sound like they were named by a particularly creative man.

The kid's smile wavered, then it returned. "He'd have agreed with you," they whispered. Probably didn't mean for me to hear it judging by the volume, but I was more perceptive than most.

Well, in any case I didn't want to press issues they didn't want to discuss. Learned that lesson the hard way once, and once was enough.

The snow crunched underfoot, and true to my word, I chose not to investigate the surroundings and kept to a brisk walking pace. Not that there was much to see. The paths were lined with a few small structures that looked like pre-war dog houses, and of course, Papyrus's puzzles.

"WOWIE! I SEE YOU TOO ARE A FELLOW PUZZLE LOVER, FOR THERE IS NO OTHER WAY YOU COULD HAVE SOLVED THIS COMPLICATED PRESSURE-PLATE PUZZLE SO QUICKLY," the skeleton enthused as I solved another… really easy puzzle. Much like the ones in the Ruins, these didn't do much more than slow me down. And they wouldn't have even done that much if I decided to just step over the spikes that might have halted me if I was three feet shorter.

But it made Papyrus beam with happiness, and it was hard not to smile at the monster as I journeyed onwards.

That's not a sentence I ever thought I'd think up, by the way.

"Mhm, you get used to it," Chara said, floating alongside me, but turning to face the way we came. "Hey, Courier?"

You can just call me Six, it's way shorter to say.

They waved a hand dismissively, but acknowledged it anyway. "Six, we haven't run into any monsters. Besides those two, I mean, and we haven't seen Sans in a while."

You're not disappointed by that, are you? I thought you wanted to move things along and get out of here.

The ghost frowned, their face a storm of smoke on oil. "There were never that many monsters at… at any point in history. But the Underground isn't that big. We should have run into a lot more than just two by now."

Three, I thought, considering the Froggit. I almost brought up Toriel, and decided against it.

"And if there's a town nearby, we definitely should have seen a few of its residents on the outskirts. The point I'm trying to make is, where is everyone?" they asked.

Maybe they're afraid of us, I suggested sarcastically. Really though, why was the kid getting so worked up over this? It's not like we were about to be attacked or anything.

But they take what I said seriously, and narrow their eyes in concentration. "Maybe so. I just don't-"

"Stop right there!"

"-like being interrupted like that, but whatever," the ghost muttered as I quickly began to reevaluate the idea we weren't about to be attacked.

Two figures in black cloaks moved towards us, humanoid with bleach-white bodies, each wielding a gleaming battle axe. If there was just one of them and it was a scythe, I would have thought I was seeing the grim reaper.

Instead, the figures approached enough for me to make out… paws? And a nose? I wasn't even startled at this point, just a little perplexed. Even being covered in a cloak, it was pretty obvious I was looking at a pair of bipedal dogs. With axes.

And I thought the robot scorpions of Big Mountain were a little weird.

"The what?" Chara asked, but I was too busy trying to gauge the dogs' reactions.

"What's that smell?"

"(Who's that smell?)"

"We've been told to keep a lookout…"

"(While Snowdin gets evacuated…)"

Chara's eyes widened, and my hand brushed against the familiar weight of the Ranger Sequoia even as the dogs kept on taking turns speaking.

"And now a strange smell shows up? Highly suspicious."

"(What is that smell, anyways?)"

"Smells like…"

"(Smells like blood and rust!)"

"So if you're _that_ smell…"

"IDENTIFY YOUR-SMELF!" they both yelled in perfect synchronization.

It would have been hilarious if they didn't immediately punctuate it by swinging their axes directly at me.

Fortunately, I was by no means a stranger to melee combat.

One squeeze to an activator hooked up to my Pip Boy, and just as I felt the familiar sensation of GRX flooding into my nervous system, the dogs' axes slowed to a crawl. The one on the left seemed to pause with his axe frozen in mid-air for an overhead strike, while the other attempted a sweeping attack at my legs that moved at glacial speeds. Even the smoke that coiled around Chara moved in slow motion.

It's times like these that it's great to be a cyborg with a drug dispenser built into my brain.

I sidestepped the one on the left and appeared at his side, kicking up snow that glittered in the sunlight even as it drifted lazily into the air. Dodging his attack and firmly out of range of the other, I raised a fist up to head-level, and it may have looked like it was moving at the speed of NCR's bureaucratic process, but I had crushed the skulls of enough Fiends to know that it was going a lot faster than that. The hooded dog didn't even have enough time to turn all the way around before-

 _Woosh_

-disappearing entirely and sending me spiraling to the ground as my fist connected with nothing but empty air, completely unbalancing me.

No, I didn't say 'the fuck?' or try and pointlessly ask what happened like they do in those dime novels or holofilms. I scrambled to my feet, and-

 _Woosh_

-shook my head, trying to clear the sudden bout of nausea that threatened to overwhelm me.

"heya."

The last traces of Implant GRX's slowdown effect wore off. A thick fog gently rolled through… wherever we were, obscuring everything around me.

But I had quite a few cybernetics in my eyes as well, and a helmet with functioning vision modes. It didn't take much effort from either to see the short skeleton that had been curiously absent for the past few puzzles.

"Sans," I said.

Just like before, he didn't move an inch.

"i saw whatcha did. what you were going to do. killing dogs? man, that's a little low, don't you think?"

My fists clenched. "They attacked me first, without warning or provocation. It was self-defense."

"and the old lady?"

I stilled.

"yeah, i wouldn't know how to respond to that either," Sans said nonchalantly. "and you know, i tried to give you a chance. thought maybe you just needed… i don't know. a few puzzles. some funny friends and fried food. but you?"

He moved for the first time in the conversation, taking a step forward. My fingers twitched.

"heh. anyone else and i wouldn't have given the order to evacuate. but then again, you're not 'anyone' are you? you're not from around here, _anomaly_."

The last word was a deviation from his normal speech, a low cutting sound that was somewhere between the roar of an engine and a growl.

"you thought i wouldn't notice? time's been turned on its side, starting and stopping at seemingly random points. but you know what all the timelines all have in common? something is causing them to _end_. a full stop. heh. it's you, isn't it?"

I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, and I couldn't even ask Chara because the spirit didn't seem to be subjected to the same rules of teleportation as the rest of us. Wherever they were, it wasn't here.

"i don't know how you got here. i don't know what you _are_ , but i know what happens next if you keep doing what you did to everyone else. and seeing that… i can't afford not to care," said Sans.

The wind picked up, and as luck would have it, it was just breezy enough to shift the overcoat off my holster.

"sorry old lady," he sighed. "this-"

 _BANG_

Sans' sternum exploded.

Or it would have, but monsters being monsters, he stumbled backwards, once, twice. On the third he fell to his knees, clutching at the television-static hole dead center in his chest. The Ranger Sequoia was in my hands faster than I could blink, and smoke wafted off its barrel, joining the fog.

"how…?" he asked, before a red liquid seeped out of the wound. I paused at that. Of all things, skeleton monsters are the ones that have blood? I wouldn't have thought.

Sans made a sound, a rattling sigh that usually preceded death. "what…" he tried again, more pseudo-blood staining his undershirt.

I stepped closer, holstering the revolver and replacing it with Blood-Nap. Never waste a bullet if you can avoid it.

He took a breath, steadied himself, and looked into my helmet. Was it wrong that unlike with Toriel, I felt a lot less guilt this time around? Hell if I know.

"what _are_ you?" Sans managed at last.

The knife flipped into a reverse grip, and I answered.

"I'm The Courier."

One slash, and it was over. A blue jacket collapsed to the ground, and a pile of dust scattered itself on the wind.

Still that damn fog though. And without the kid to help me navigate, I could only see ten feet ahead of me with any clarity. But even with the weather hampering my vision, it wasn't long before I could see lights in one direction, and hear the churning of water in the other. Well, the next area was called 'Waterfall', and it didn't take a genius to figure out where to go to proceed. Hopefully the kid would realize I wasn't here and catch up, would be a shame to backtrack and lose all that progress.

I followed the sound of rushing water, and left the abandoned town behind.

* * *

Papyrus's first reaction upon finding the discarded jacket that Sans was never seen without was not an amused one.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY, BROTHER," Papyrus said, more exasperated than anything. "I HIGHLY DOUBT YOUR NUDITY WILL BE AS ENDEARING AS YOUR LAZINESS. NOW HURRY AND GET DRESSED, OR WE WON'T CATCH THE HUMAN."

There was no response but the howling wind.

"SANS?" he asked, holding the blue jacket by the collar. Papyrus looked around, but couldn't see anyone. He rolled his eyes and walked back into town. The lights were off at their house and Sans didn't often visit the librarby these days, which left only one possibility.

"GRILLBY? I DISLIKE BOTHERING YOU, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN MY LAZYBONES BROTHER… AROUND…" he started, trailing off as soon as the door to the pub swung open. Cards lay flat on the table, fizzy drinks and unhealthily greasy food had been abandoned, and the eponymous owner was nowhere in sight. Neither was anyone else.

Papyrus sighed.

"SANS, I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT YOU MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH TO GET EVERYONE TO DISAPPEAR, BUT YOU WILL FIND THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT SO EASILY BAMBOOZLED. NOW COME BACK HERE, I DOUBT YOU INTENDED TO LEAVE YOUR JACKET IN THE SNOW."

There was no response but the crackling of the fire exit.

For the first time, Papyrus felt a chill settle over his bones and found the warm atmosphere that normally permeated Grillby's was completely absent.

"HELLO?! ANYONE?!" he called, placing one foot outside and looking around. Snowdin was deserted. While he could normally admire the dedication that went into a joke like this, especially considering the level of humor he normally dealt with, this was going a bit far. Even for Sans.

 _If this was a prank, it would have ended long ago._

"SANS?" Papyrus asked again, and this time he couldn't keep the worry from seeping into his voice when nothing happened. He called out again.

There was no response at all.

"...SANS?"

But nobody came.

* * *

 _You gained ? EXP_

 _EXP to LV 51: ? / 193,750_

* * *

 _A/N: That's right motherfuckers, I'm still here, still writing. There's not much else to say so I'm going to take the opportunity to address some of the reviews, in my own way.  
_

 _Let's just get this out of the way. Every time someone asks me a question about this story regarding its plot, either in a PM or a review, the answer is either  
_

 _A) I will write it in the author's notes or it will come up as part of the story in a future chapter, or  
_

 _B) It isn't relevant to what I have planned next.  
_

 _Now having said that, I assure you that the questions some of you have raised in regards the Courier's ability to SAVE/RESET or whether this is a neutral run or not will be answered in future chapters. Have patience._

 _Oh, and if you didn't get it because it was kind of a stretch, pronounce 'courier' as 'career' to experience the full power of the puns in the first meeting with the skeleton brothers._

 _Anyways, that concludes this chapter as well as our little quality time segment. Don't take what I said the wrong way though, I do appreciate and read every review on here, especially the ones that focus on what I did right and wrong and go into detail. And I'm not trying to discourage you from speculating, sorry if I came off that way. All I'm sayin' is, if you ask a question about the plot, the main reason I won't directly answer it is because it kind of feels like telling you what's going to happen without any of the buildup or actual writing to give the answer any drama. I'm out of things to say right now, so take care and have a good day._


	4. Waterfall

_A/N: Hello everyone, sorry this took a while._

 _I didn't expect this story to get as popular as it did. So I guess I'm committed to finishing it now, god knows I left too many to just rot, unattended. Might even start up a few of my old stories, but that's a matter that's neither here nor there. They're not great, anyways._

 _Oh actually I just thought of something. The Undertale soundtrack. I thought it would be great to play that during the chapters, you know, set mood-appropriate tracks for each little segment since that soundtrack is at least half the reason why the game is great, but this website doesn't really *do* links, and it would be a little jarring to go from reading to suddenly 'click here for music'. So that's a pipe dream. Well if you're feeling up to it, play something from the OST in the background that you feel is fitting, or don't. It's a fanfic, not a movie._

 _On to more pressing matters, it's time for our local lunatic of a protagonist, The Courier, to go through Waterfall. As always, your feedback is processed, considered, triaged, and above all else, it is highly appreciated. Hope you like the chapter and have a good day!_

 _PS: If you're at all squeamish, there are some parts of this chapter you may not want to read. At all. Just a heads up._

* * *

Waterfall

* * *

 _(Ring, Ring…)_

 _(Ring, Ring…)_

"…"

 _(Ri-)_

 _*Beep*_

" _HELLO! YOU HAVE REACHED THE NUMBER OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS! WHILE YOU HAVE NO DOUBT CONCLUDED THAT THIS IS MERELY A RECORDING MADE IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT I CANNOT ANSWER THE PHONE, DO NOT FRET! SIMPLY LEAVE A MESSAGE, AND I SHALL RETURN YOUR CALL WITHIN 1-2 BUSINESS MINUTES. HAVE A GOOD MESSAGE!"_

 _*Click*_

"…"

 _*beep-beep-beep-beep*_

 _(Ring, Ring…)_

 _(Rin-)_

" _Oh! H-hey, Undyne, what's-"_

"Alphys, are you at your lab?"

" _W-why do you ask? And, um, yes, yes I am."_

"Good. I need you to listen to me very carefully."

* * *

Waterfall in a word: wet.

It wasn't hard to see where it got its name. Small but steady streams of water fell from cracks in the ceiling, on either side of a path that bordered a flowing river. There was nothing of note aside from another wooden stand like the kind I had seen in the area outside the Ruins, and a glowing blue flower nestled against the wall.

None of it held my interest, which meant it was time to press on.

I waded across a river. Made my way through narrow corridors illuminated by glittering geodes and bioluminescent fungi. Tall grass that looked suspiciously like a land-based form of seaweed parted before me, and I refrained from cutting it down. If what Sans said was true, he told that town near me to evacuate. Evacuation implied guards, guards implied search parties, and I didn't want to give them anything to work with. Even if the guards I had dealt with seemed lackluster, at best. I was effectively alone and up against an unknown force who had magic on their side, time was of the essence.

So why had I stopped?

" _Anomaly."_

Sans' words replayed in my head, making less and less sense each time. I wasn't lacking in the department of the sciences. I could reprogram any military-grade robot, hack any security system, and could even give the scientists of Big Mountain a run for their money in most subjects. Understanding the basic theory behind timelines and such was easy by comparison, but what did that have to do with anything? Unless I had missed something, the monsters here only had rudimentary technology, certainly nothing on a level that would indicate an intricate understanding of spacetime. And while there was no denying how dangerous I could be, a threat to time itself is a little bit of an overestimation. So why did he-

I shook my head and felt like maybe I should have gone back to find the kid. All their chatter and moodiness aside, it was still nice to have them around. I didn't tend to go on endless goddam monologues as much in their company. I wish they were here.

Then I almost thought that for once, my wish had been granted. I heard a voice.

"Yo, dude!"

I tensed, turned, but this time I didn't immediately go for a weapon. Whoever it was sounded… young.

The not-seaweed shivered noisily—before depositing a monster on the ground that almost made me kill it on reflex, childish voice or not. It looked like a golden gecko on account of, you guessed it, golden reptilian skin, but that's where the similarities ended. Spikes protruded from its back, it lacked a pair of arms, the eyes were wide with white sclerae, and to my knowledge, no breed of golden geckos had stripes.

Hang on, was it wearing a shirt?

"Hey dude! Man am I glad to see you!" the thing- no, monster, which was definitely a male child, exclaimed with a grin. He dropped the smile and started looking puzzled once he met the expressionless gaze of my helmet. "Uh, even if I don't think we've met before?"

"We haven't," I responded while casting a critical eye over him. Short, hopping from one foot to another, and with what looked like an impressive pair of black eyes. He must have fallen down a lot, and often. Some part of me felt a stab of pity, but I couldn't take care of everyone who came up to me.

I could try and help, though.

"Should you be here? I thought they were evacuating Snowdin," I said noncommittally.

"Er- well, no," the monster kid admitted. "I was out playing when the Royal Guard rounded everyone up to leave, so I think they just forgot… about… me. Ha ha."

Chara might've had a point when they said I was easily sidetracked, because I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like paying a visit to whoever was in charge of the Royal Guard. What kind of incompetent brand of law enforcement just left people behind like that? Granted, they left in a hurry because some paranoid skeleton thought I had something to do with destroying time itself, but come on. I'm not that dangerous.

"…So I might have missed the instructions on where to go," the kid mumbled at the ground. Then he looked up, bright-faced, as if he hadn't been written off as collateral or forgotten. "B-but yo! You're here and… and maybe you could help me find out where to go!"

I sighed. I was never good with kids. Christ, what did it say that the only one I had talked to for longer than a few minutes was a fucking ghost? "Look, this place is fairly linear, or so I've been told. I'm sure you can make it on your own. Besides, didn't your parents tell you not to talk to strangers?"

"Well yeah, but they also said to ask an adult for help, and you're an adult, right? I can tell 'cause of your lack of a striped shirt!"

I opened my mouth to protest, but got distracted by his logic. Come to think of it, between him and Chara, every kid I had met here so far had a striped shirt while Toriel and Sans- wait why the fuck did that matter?

"And I _can_ make it through here on my own, dude. I've been through here plenty of times to watch Undyne train! I… I just need some help with some of the puzzles is all."

Something about that name caught my interest. Hadn't Papyrus said it before? "Undyne?"

The monster kid's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. "Dude! How can you not know who Undyne is? She's the leader of the Royal Guard! She's probably the strongest monster in the Underground, and she's definitely the coolest! I bet she could stop whatever it was that made everyone leave Snowdin! Even a human!"

You would be surprised, kid.

But now I was interested. Undyne definitely sounded like someone to watch out for, especially if she was as hostile to humans as Chara made out Monsterkind to be.

And someone who knew the way forward was never a bad thing to have…

"C'mon, dude, how 'bout it! I can guide us all the way to Hotland, and you can do whatever puzzles are in the way! The bridge seeds always trip me up…"

Hotland. I don't think Chara mentioned it, but it couldn't be behind me, which was good enough. I nodded. The kid cheered.

"Awesome, thanks dude! Uh, I mean, sir! Um, or ma'am?" he asked, getting more and more puzzled at my lack of a response. I didn't bother to correct him though, just beckoned and started walking. A few seconds later, a yellow monster was at my side and talking as fast as he could about anything and everything.

Lose a kid, gain a kid. I guess it's my destiny to be a babysitter now. At least this one was like Chara; he knew his way around the place and didn't ask too many questions.

"These are the bridge seeds! You just put four in a line, and they bloom into a bridge! Pretty cool, right?"

"Yep."

I picked up the flowers and started pushing them into the water.

"Yo, where you from, anyways? Since you haven't been here before, I mean."

"The Ruins."

Sure enough, the bridge seeds sprouted into an ad hoc bridge, like a road of lily pads. I pressed down on one with my foot, but it held firm. A lily pad with a high load bearing capacity. Huh.

"No way, really? Dude! You gotta tell me all about it!"

"Sure. But first, why don't you tell me more about Undyne?"

I walked across the bridge and paid a little attention to the sound of the kid talking as fast as he could about his idol.

And that's how it goes for quite a while. The kid went on and on about Undyne (who was probably a pretty big threat if even half of what he was saying wasn't hyperbole), while I went trudging through puddles and solving puzzles that probably weren't meant for the armless. It left plenty of time to make a few more observations about my surroundings.

Maybe I was a bit dismissive about the cave at the start, so let's go into more detail.

Waterfall in several words; dark, mildly humid, lots of groundwater, and devoid of intelligent life.

In other words, it was exactly like the majority of caves I had seen before, which was honestly more comforting than Snowdin and its forest. At least a cave was more understandable than an artificial underground environment sustained by magic. It was something I was familiar with, you know? I could deal with it.

Or you know, that's what I thought.

The kid ran ahead, babbling something about 'echo flowers'. He disappeared around a corner.

I followed after him, and came _this_ close to bumping into someone that didn't show up on the Pip-Boy's motion tracker.

I stared.

You could almost mistake it for a human, you know? Two arms, two legs, a head with a shock of full hair, could have passed for some teenage kid at a distance. The only things that set it apart from one was how frozen and… grayscale it was, like something out of a still frame from a working television had been placed into the real world.

And also it was holding a tiny head in its hand. That was a pretty big indicator that whatever was in front of me, it wasn't a monster. And it sure as hell wasn't human.

"Oh hello there, Courier. I guess it's true then, you're headed for the barrier," the head stated.

The… thing holding it stayed where it was, other hand glued to its head, frozen in a permanent expression of grief.

I didn't move either, for entirely different reasons. I took a brief glimpse at my Pip-Boy, noticing something that had never happened before. The compass was spinning wildly in both directions, as if it was trying to compete with an electromagnet. And there was a sound coming from its external speakers. Something like radio static and something else, this low droning noise that _wasn't_ coming from the audio system, a noise that didn't seem to come from anywhere at all. It was in my head, it just- it was something indescribable.

What the fuck was _wrong_ with this place?

"That's the question, isn't it?" it asked in response, and I wasn't even surprised.

The head kept talking. It had a singsong quality to its voice that felt _off_ in some weird way that was almost familiar. Like hearing your favorite song in a dream, there was something uncertain, something hazy about the melody just wasn't right.

"The doctor tried to answer but failed in spite of all his wit.

No matter the calculations or the projections he ran.

He found he could scarcely keep track of where time ended or even began."

I almost stumbled over nothing at the mention of time. Did this thing know what Sans was talking about?

It must have read my mind again, because the little head tilted to look at me like it was amused, smug, before it changed tunes.

"But that is neither here nor there, I suspect.

Danger lurks in the one place you least expect.

The guard, the demon, and the child await you on the road ahead.

But only you will determine who is alive and who is dead."

Then it disappeared with an electronic chirp, as if sharing vague prophecies was all the world had meant for it do before departing, leaving me to stare blankly into the cave that seemed infinitely more foreboding than it had been a minute ago. A big rocky maw, daring me to tread further.

I hesitated for a second. I could have gone back to look for Chara, or asked the kid if he knew about strange gray figures showing up out of nowhere, or I could have done _literally anything other than keep moving._

"Dude, come on! You gotta check out the telescope puzzle!"

But I didn't. I kept going, further into the tunnel and the sound of water on rocks.

I had to.

* * *

"Hello?! Courier?" Chara shouted, eyes scanning the snowy horizon and failing to find anything new. The child sighed.

"God dammit."

They shook their head—a futile gesture that accomplished little—then reviewed what they knew.

One, Courier Six was missing. And since their determination seemed to sustain the spirit, it was of utmost importance to find their traveling companion as quickly as possible.

Two, Sans had whisked away Six, two dogs, and himself. _Only the living,_ they thought with a scowl.

And three, if the Courier's determination really was holding the spirit together, then they were probably ahead of them since the snowy forest behind the spirit seemed almost… subdued. A quiet darkness blanketed itself over the world behind them, like a black cloud that smelled like permanence and the not-quite fever dreams they had experienced in the grave beneath a bed of flowers.

Chara shivered. Fuck that, they had no intentions of finding out what happened when a spirit drifted too far from what anchored it to the world, so they floated in the opposite direction of the encroaching shadow. Hopefully, there was some sign of where the Courier had been, a way of pointing where specifically to go besides 'further into the Underground'. They passed puzzles that had never been solved, entire banks of snow poffs, floated over a rickety rope bridge, but didn't find a trace of the Courier.

All the while, the blackness behind them started to whisper in white noise and a babbling voice that reminded them of _something_ they couldn't quite place, something from the past-

"I can't believe it. The human really did _this_?"

Chara felt a twitch. That wasn't a memory. In fact-

"Heh. Haha. Hahahaha! What a joke! See you later, Smiley Trashbag! Hahahaha!"

-it sounded like it was coming from the town.

Chara cast a quick glance behind them, half irritated and half frightened at the encroaching wall of _nothing_ that was fast approaching. No time to waste, the child edged towards the sound of high-pitched, mocking laughter that they had definitely heard somewhere before. They hovered past the Snowdin welcome sign, and were well into the town proper when they saw it.

A flash of yellow and white. Two vines had burrowed out of the snow, holding a pair of pink slippers that rumbled back and forth with rambunctious laughter.

"Flowey," they growled to no one in particular. Of course that _weed_ would show up now.

" _You're gonna have a b-a-d t-i-m-e,"_ the flower singsonged, laughing uproariously at his own impersonation, unaware of the spectre a few feet away. "Ha… ha… wow. And to think I was almost worried for them."

Suddenly, the pieces clicked into place. Chara's eyes widened in realization. Sans was dead, and the Courier had killed him. Which meant they couldn't be too far behind-

"I never thought I'd see this day," Flowey continued to no one but himself, using one of the vines to wipe a tear from his eye. He turned almost wistfully towards the town, and for a moment the spirit almost thought he looked at them.

"…I only wish you were here too, Chara."

 _WHAT?_

They did a double take. Flowey was still staring off into space as if he hadn't said what he just did, and Chara stormed up to him. A sea of emotions churned within them, casting iridescent shadows of onyx on the snow around them as they tried to ask _where the hell had he learned that name?_

 _What gave him the right to use that name?_

They screamed at him soundlessly, and accomplished nothing. They pounded their fists against the flower only to hit nothing but air, tried to throttle him by the stem, and started seeing black at the corner of their vision as anger turned into-

Chara's vision flickered, and they dared to look behind them.

Too late, they realized where the spectral fog settling over them was coming from. Flowey and Snowdin disappeared beneath a pitch-black roiling sea as Chara shook off their reverie and tried to run.

The child wasn't fast enough. The void caught up with them in an instant, and so did the past.

This time, it was someone else's.

* * *

"The War of Humans and Monsters," I murmured, inaudible to anyone but myself.

"Yo! you've never read this before?"

Correction, inaudible to anyone but myself and the monster kid. Although maybe he just caught me staring.

I shook my head. "We don't have these in the Ruins."

"Wow, I don't think I've ever met a monster who hasn't heard the story at least once. Didn't you go to school?"

"We didn't have that either," I said, making the kid's eyes widen. At least it wasn't a total lie. "Back to the story you were saying though…"

"Huh? Oh right, sorry dude! So a bunch of teenagers put these ornaments on Gyftrot, right? And then Undyne shows up outta nowhere!.."

With him occupied, I turned back to the stone tablets in the wall and continued to read them, making sure to keep the kid in the corner of my eye. I had heard the abridged version from Chara before, but I hadn't bothered to ask them for the full story since. Somehow, I got the impression they wouldn't give it to me. Not at all of it, anyway.

'…Humans are unbelievably strong,' the inscription read. 'It would take the SOUL of nearly every monster just to equal the power of a single human SOUL.'

Huh, guess that explained why Toriel knew she couldn't have stopped me. But if this was common knowledge, why did Sans think he could fight me?

I kept reading and tried to brush those thoughts away.

'But humans have one weakness. Ironically, it is the strength of their SOUL. Its power allows it to persist outside the human body, even after death.'

Better question, why did they keep writing 'soul' in all capital letters?

'If a monster defeats a human, they can take its SOUL. A monster with a human SOUL… A horrible beast with unfathomable power.'

Speaking of souls, I think mine just retreated back into my body. I brought both my hands to my sides and reaffirmed I was still armed. Nothing in here had so much as the capacity to put me in danger, I told myself. There was no reason to worry.

But I still worried.

At that point, I barely spared the last stone tablet a glance, but you know me. I'm the Curious Courier who can't keep from sneaking a look at a chiseled drawing of some weird monster-

Wait.

I stopped, looked at the drawing, and I mean _really_ looked at it.

It looked like a poorly-drawn winged creature but what got me were the eyes. They were photorealistic and bored straight past my helmet and into my mind. As if whoever made it wanted to draw only that spotlight-like gaze and the rest of the body was an afterthought.

I blinked.

It looked kind of like a screaming face made out of red fog, or maybe a fetus, shrouded in warped static-

I blinked again.

 _It looks like Toriel's rusted skull like some terrible machine that could snap you up with those jaws in an instant it looks like it looks-_

"Yo dude, you okay?" the monster kid asked, his yellow face scrunched up in concern.

"Fine," I ground out, realizing for the first time that I had been standing still and holding my breath for at least a minute. I took one last look at the picture.

Just a drawing of a weird monster.

I turned away, forcing myself to walk to the end of the docks. A raft bobbed gently in the shallow, murky water. "This is the only way forward?"

"Well yeah, unless you can swim!"

I didn't remark that the only way to proceed through the place was via a tiny raft barely big enough for me. Truthfully, it wasn't a detail I cared about. I brushed past him, muttered that I'd go first, and pushed off into the water.

A minute or two passed, and I almost felt calm when I arrived on the other side's pier and pushed the raft back.

I sighed, but still felt a little jittery. Somewhere, in that image hewn into the rock, something made me feel almost…

The wooden board in front of me exploded from a laser impact.

I threw myself back, just enough to keep from being speared by blue light. I didn't know what the fuck was happening but _someone_ was trying to kill me and that was something I could understand, something I knew the response to. All my fear was gone, replaced with adrenaline. I drew my weapons and darted my eyes everywhere, searching for the attacker.

And sure enough, there it is, silhouetted against the stone pillars that ring this side of the docks. It gleamed in the quasi-moonlight reflected off the water. Almost as tall as a super mutant, and about as broad. Thick armor plates that looked like it could give T-45D power armor a run for its money. A big plume of red hair poked out of the helmet, like the Legate of the Legion reborn. There's only one monster it could possibly be, god knows I've been hearing about her exploits for the past year.

 _Undyne._

Her helmet flashed and a trio of electric-blue spears, actual fucking spears and not lasers, appeared above her shoulders before they screamed towards me, even as I tried to shoot her.

You ever seen what a .45-70 super wadcutter round does to someone? Because I can promise you it's not pretty, and I don't _care_ how much KE your armor is rated to absorb, or even how thick the plating is on your medieval-steel replica armor. A direct hit with a round like that, from the handcannon I favor, at close range? You're nine flavors of fucked, taking the express trip to the cemetery, and not coming back.

The bad news is, all of that means precisely nothing if you don't hit anything. I squeezed off a couple rounds, creating two very expensive craters in the stone pillars. Soot and rock were blasted across the room, but the monster was no worse for wear.

If anything, she seemed even more determined to skewer me.

But the good news is, Undyne couldn't get a bead on me either. Spears impaled everything in the area except for me, splashing into water or throwing mulched bits of wood into the air, but none of them connected. I only stopped to try and fire at her two more times, and both times I didn't even get the chance to pull the trigger.

Her helmet kept flashing with light, this brilliant blue color that was close to blinding, especially since she was standing in the dark. Maybe it was chance, or maybe I should have given her tactical sense more credit. Undyne raced from pillar to pillar, always staying in the open only long enough to summon another three electric spears, and always opening with that blinding move. Never even gave me enough time to aim.

Holy shit, I was fighting someone who actually fought and used their environment creatively.

More spears came for me. I sidestepped them all. I fired three more times, each time hitting nothing but rock and air when I got blinded each time.

It's stalemates like these that raise the age-old question we all know, "who would win between the agility and dogged persistence of Courier Six and a literally endless supply of high-velocity magic spears?"

I didn't want to find out, so it was a relief when I saw more of the seaweed-like grass up ahead, with just enough distance between me and it to make my play. I rolled, came up on one knee, and emptied all five rounds into the pillar in front of Undyne. The old rock exploded into a dusty fog, obscuring me just long enough to sprint for one, two, three seconds uninterrupted before more spears chased after me but it was too late. They whistled into the grass, hitting nothing at all.

I stayed low. Out came the knife, and on marched Undyne. Boots clanked against stone, edging closer.

 _Yes, that's it._ I was completely still, knife ready to tear her in half. _Get a little closer…_

Undyne brought a hand up, I got ready to slice through her femoral artery, and then she grabbed something to my right. It made a sound not unlike a squeak, and-

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Peeking between blades of dark blue grass, I could see Undyne holding the kid by the head.

"Oh, my, god," he whispered in unconcealed reverence for his idol.

How the hell did he even get here in time?

"You…" Undyne started, this guttural growl that seemed to echo off her helmet's grille before she stilled, paused. Her voice softened by an inch. "…you are not safe here. Let's go, kid."

"Uh, w-wait! You're not gonna-"

" _Now."_

Then she dragged him through the grass, away from where I lay hidden. I barely caught the kid saying "-tell my parents about this, are you?" before they both disappeared from sight. As if the search for me no longer held any interest at all.

I was free to continue on my own again.

Which I did, lamenting the fact that I couldn't have stabbed Undyne in the neck without hitting the kid all the while. One quick check of the area later confirmed what I already knew; both of them were long gone.

Pretty soon, so was I.

And as I walked down twisted paths that wound through ponds and rivers, I thought of a new description for Waterfall.

Empty.

Not totally, I found another telescope, a metal cart of some sort, and even an old pair of slippers you might see on a dancer, but still no monsters. I loitered for a while, enough to realize that some of the stuff in here had been abandoned in a hurry. Sans had been more on top of things than he let on, if everyone in Waterfall had already gotten the word to flee. The place was as quiet as a tomb.

Don't get me wrong, some people just don't have an appreciation for silence, but I was starting to wonder if Chara was right after all. Back in the snow of the forest, when they asked why we hadn't encountered any monsters. I know it was a sarcastic remark at the time but…

Could I have been right when I said they were too afraid to approach?

Water dribbled off the ceiling in little rivulets, pooling into the ground as I contemplated the question, taking my time.

And believe me, I had time.

I even had enough to learn a few things about monster souls from more of the engravings on the walls. Humans feared monsters and their ability to take their souls, humans can't take a monster's soul, and only a certain type of monster could have their soul taken by a human, which was a big 'maybe'.

I walked past a cracked statue that lay beneath a constant drizzle and gave it a fleeting glance. Was it supposed it be under the one spot where water was constantly leaking?

(*The statue has been eroded from time and water. It reminds you of something you lost.)

Oh how fucking specific of you, that gave me a real epiphany, I thought to myself before moving on. Just another useless memorial. The next room wasn't any better, containing only a muddied sign and an empty bucket.

Water fell from above. A drizzle at first, but pretty soon it was a genuine subterranean rainstorm. The inquisitive part of me looked at the worn path on the ground, eroded by years of rain, and wondered how the caves sustained a perpetual downpour. Underwater reservoirs, maybe. I didn't care enough to pursue that train of thought. The rain splashed across my helmet and just made me more determined to leave. I had seen enough of this place a while ago.

"Yo! You couldn't find any umbrellas either?

I didn't bother to look. Hidden in an alcove sheltered from the rain, there stood the monster kid. I didn't even ask how he got there if Undyne had carried him in the opposite direction.

"Why are you here?" I settled on at last.

He shuffled his feet and looked down. "I uh, can't go home right now. Undyne said it wasn't safe. And she's too busy to help me right now, just said to stay put, you know?"

I sighed. Somehow, this wasn't surprising.

"But um, hey, since you're here again, is it cool if I walk with you?"

It really isn't. I couldn't look after him and fight Undyne at the same time. Not if she's going to fight with actual cunning and skill.

But like before, I didn't say no. Just walked on and let him follow me. (Cool, thanks! Let's go!)

And just like before, it didn't take long for the very one-sided conversation monster kid was having to turn to our resident spear-summoner.

"Man, Undyne is sooooooo cool. She beats up bad guys and never loses!" he said, the same way you might see a kid bragging about how his superhero could beat yours. "If I was a human, I would wet the bed every night, knowing she was gonna beat me up!"

I scoffed. She was competent and fast, I'd give her that much. Definitely not someone to be underestimated like back in the docks, but I had killed plenty of people like her before. If it really came down to it, I wasn't going to put money on her in a fight against me, and not because I'm biased.

"Hey, so did I ever tell you this one time," the kid continued, "that Undyne came to Snowdin? It was awesome! She was mostly talking to the guards and stuff, but before she left she stopped by and gave everyone a big speech about how there were heroes in all of us. And I was thinking- Yo! You think she's right, dude? That I could be like her someday?"

"You shouldn't," I stated flatly, then tried to sound a little gentler about telling a kid not to pursue his dreams. "I haven't been around for long, but frankly? You shouldn't try to be like her. Undyne's just… arrogant. And a bully."

You never realize how much you need to censor yourself around a kid until you have to do it yourself. I'm not going to say what I was thinking of calling her, you're probably too young for that sort of thing. Use your imagination.

"What?! No way, dude! She's awesome!"

Yeah, awesome enough to leave you alone in a cave with a dangerous, unknown element on the prowl, I thought. Seriously, I wasn't going to hurt the kid, but Undyne clearly thought I would. What kind of irresponsible excuse for a guard just left someone unattended if they thought they were in danger of being killed by me?

I didn't say that, of course. But the monster kid must have gotten some of the unspoken message, because he didn't speak up until we passed a big stone archway and gazed at a castle, the king's, if the kid's commentary is anything to go by.

(*The sight of the castle… it reminds you of how far you've come, and how much more you have to go. You are filled with determination.)

For once, the voice gets it right. There's a lot of ground to cover, and I am _ready_ for it.

"Uh-oh, uh, how are we gonna get over this ledge?"

I jumped. Dug my fingers into grooves in the rock—and hoisted myself up. I turned back and offered the kid a hand.

He looked at me like I had just done a magic trick, before shaking himself out of it. "Nah, man. You go on ahead, I know another way around. I'll catch up!" he called, already running away. He tripped, I almost jumped down to help him, but he pulled himself up and took off.

I wondered if that was going to be a thing with him; running off in the opposite direction and somehow ending up in front of me.

More walking ensued. The story of the human-monster war got wrapped up in a final pair of inscriptions on the wall and I entered a cavernous chamber, crisscrossed with wooden walkways. The room wasn't Snowdin-sized, but considering how hard it was to see even a few feet in front of me, it may as well have been. Several muttered 'goddammits' and a lot of dead ends later (seriously who the fuck built a bunch of walkways that led to nowhere), I finally found the right tracks. One long path that went on for so long it had to be the way out. I took a few steady, measured steps.

The floorboards creaked, and I had all of two seconds before it dawned on me that the creaking noise came from behind me, not under me.

Blue light, _familiar_ blue light came bursting out of the platform and into the ceiling. I connected the dots and realized what happened far too late as the ancient and dilapidated wood started to splinter and give way. If I'd reacted sooner, there might have been enough time to make a dash back the way I came but one glance told me everything. Whatever support struts were holding up the walkway had fallen into the darkness, and I was about to join them. Undyne had pushed her spears clean through the floor a good fifty yards away.

Clever bitch.

For the second time in the same day, I was in an uncontrolled freefall into the dark. Oddly enough, right before me and the ground got reacquainted, I saw a flash of yellow.

Then I landed. Headfirst.

* * *

" _You're awake… how about that."_

 _The light of the gunshot was blinding, but it was fading fast. Chara felt themselves blink several times, enough to make out the ceiling fan overhead along with the paint that threatened to peel itself off the walls. They tried to sit up, but someone admonished them for it. A doctor, if the medical equipment near him was any indication. But why would they need a doctor?_

 _And then the memories came rushing back. The delivery. The package._

 _The grave._

' _The game was rigged from the start.'_

 _They felt anger, their fists curling. They didn't even realize the doctor had been speaking to them until a lengthy silence echoed through the room._

" _How about your name? Can you tell me your name?"_

 _Chara felt their lips move without any action on their part._

 _I… no. No, I can't… can't remember… The Courier trailed off. The doctor gave a pitying look.  
_

" _Huh," he said at last. "Well shoot, far as I can tell, the bullets didn't give you any major brain damage. The kind that leaves you with amnesia, anyway. 'Sides, you've been through a lot. I'm sure you'll remember if you just give it a while._

 _Right, they said, privately doubting his words._

 _Chara couldn't tell if it was them or the Courier who spoke. It didn't sound like either of their voices._

" _Well, I'm Doc Mitchell. Welcome to Goodpsprings-"_

 _Then the house stripped itself away to nothing, as if the walls had grown so old they decided to skip a step in the decaying process and stopped existing. A sickly crimson sky hung above them, stretching forever in every direction. It was as though the air itself was coated in a thick poison._

 _Chara breathed it in, and remembered the unfamiliar taste. An aroma of copper and gold, mixed with something that might have been sulfur._

 _No, that was wrong. It was a scent they were intimately familiar with, one they had encountered numerous times throughout the wasteland. The air did not smell like copper. It smelled like corpses and half-congealed blood._

 _They remembered now. A mysterious radio signal had drawn them to a bunker, they had been dragged across the desert to some hellish pre-war casino in the middle of nowhere, and there was a bomb collar around their neck._

 _But that did not concern them. It had been days of crawling through the not-quite deserted streets of the Sierra Madre's Villa with nothing but the bare minimum of food, water, and the plans of a madman to guide them. A pair of ghost people emerged from one of the buildings and Chara felt their hands tremble, though not out of fear._

 _They just felt so hungry…_

 _The ghost people lunged. Chara parried the first one and brought their spear down, into the second one's neck. The ultra-sharp knives cleaved straight through the hazmat suit and flesh in an instant, slicing the creature's head off. The other threw a punch that Chara only narrowly dodged, the hit coming close enough they could see the crude bear trap fashioned around its fist missing them by inches, snapping at the air._

 _They rolled back, twisting the knife spear to slash at its limbs. The ghost person put up a fight, even struck them once or twice, before succumbing to its wounds and collapsing. Chara wasted no time in severing its arms. The fight was over, but they didn't turn to leave._

 _They were so goddam hungry. Anything would be welcome at this point, even…_

 _Chara stared at the thing's corpse, at the pair of stumps where its arms had been. The mutated green flesh seemed to hiss and bubble outwards, as if pressurized gas was trying to escape._

 _Their stomach growled despite themselves, and they couldn't ignore it any longer. They tore a knife off their spear and started to eat._

 _The Courier felt sated at last._

 _Chara felt sick to their stomach-_

 _And as the blood-red sky disappeared, a dilapidated concrete room took its place. One of the walls had a door and a large glass window, but their attention was on the room's only other occupant. A man in faded red armor was tied down to a chair in the center of the room and regarded them balefully._

 _Silus. A Centurion in Caesar's Legion._

" _What now, then?" he asked venomously, as if speaking to Chara was the worst thing he could think of doing. "I've told you everything of consequence, and you know what? All the information in the world won't save you or the NCR. In a month or two when the Legion rolls through this place, they'll burn you alive at the stake for-"_

 _You do it wrong, the Courier said._

 _Silus stopped his tirade. "What?"_

 _The whole burning people at the stake. That's not how you do it._

 _When Silus failed to react, the Courier sighed and elaborated._

 _Look, I didn't want to say this before the interrogation, but I feel safe in saying it now that I have everything I need. While I may work against you, the Legion is actually one of my favorite factions in the entire Mojave. Do you know why?_

 _Silus looked at them oddly. "…You're a sympathizer? I fail to see-"_

 _Chara laughed. No, nothing like that. You are my favorite precisely because of what you are, what you do._

 _They took a step forward._

 _If it was anyone else, people would have run from me in fear. They wouldn't look at me and decide I was the Messiah, or the Savior of the Damned, or whatever the fuck people are calling me these days._

 _They took another step, reached into their armor, and retrieved two things: a knife, and a nailgun. Silus's eyes flicked to it for a moment, and his face flashed with fear._

 _But you? Allow me to let you in on a little secret, Silus. I adore people like you. You slave-owning, disgusting murdering piece of shit. I love meeting people like you, because you give me the kind of release I could never get from anyone else, because no one judges me for what I do to legionaries. You give me the greatest gift of all, and it is not just my obligation to pay you back, it is my pleasure to make an example of you._

 _They took another step forward, and this time they were close enough. The Courier's knife flashed—cutting the ropes that restrained the centurion before grabbing both his hands in one fluid motion. He tried to struggle but it wasn't enough, their grip was like a vice. They raised the nailgun and-_

 _Silus screamed. His hands were pinned to the floor. They grabbed his legs and nailed his feet to the wall. Someone had started yelling to be let in outside the door, for the Courier to stop._

 _Don't worry, they can't help you now, the Courier promised. Anyways, we're a bit off topic. See, I saw Nipton, that town that got hit by your spies. What do you call them? Frumentarii? Anyways, the town was a mess. Vulpes—that's the guy who was in charge of the whole thing—burned the mayor to death by throwing him on a pile of tires and setting them on fire, did you know that?_

 _Silus tried to struggle in vain as blood ran down his limbs. He shot them a look filled with- fear? Hate? Probably both._

 _They put away the nailgun and drew something else. A tin canister that they splashed over Silus, drenching him in a rancid-smelling liquid._

 _He did it wrong too, so I'll tell you exactly what I told him. If you just set someone on fire, they'll inhale too much smoke, go unconscious and die too quickly, less pain. That's why I said you guys do it wrong. But if you string them upside down, set only the 'upper' half of their body on fire, the smoke goes up, away from the face. They only die when the fire's burnt everything important away. Takes a lot longer to die, believe me._

" _You're sick," the centurion managed at last. "You goddam degenerate, y-you're a fucking psychopath! When the Legion gets here, you'll-"_

 _Oh come on, Silus, they said exasperatedly. First off, I expected more from a centurion. At least Vulpes had the nerve not to get choked up before he got burnt to a crisp. And second, don't call me that. I'm not a psychopath._

 _There was a crack and hiss as they lit a match._

" _Psychopaths don't know what they're doing is wrong."_

 _They flicked the match, and the room lit up in blazing orange. Silus started to scream. Someone else started to laugh, and it took a few seconds before Chara realized they were joining in._

 _Then they woke up._

* * *

In hindsight, I'm actually kind of grateful to the Think Tank for sticking several kilograms' worth of cybernetics and reinforced trauma plating into my skull without asking permission. I'm pretty sure that without it, between constantly getting shot in the head or being knocked unconscious, I would probably have a lot of brain damage by now.

But I was fine, enough to push myself to my feet and take a look around.

Now that I think about it, it was actually a lot like the first time I fell into the Underground, when I first stirred myself awake at the entrance to the Ruins. Surrounded by flowers, minor damage to my armor but nothing that couldn't be fixed while I got my bearings. The only major difference was the water and trash instead of the wreckage of old architecture.

Well, and my legs weren't broken this time. That was a plus.

I looked up and tried to assess how far I'd fallen and if there was a way back up when I saw something familiar on the water. Something misty and-

"Chara?"

There was no mistaking it. I almost thought it was just fog hovering over the water, but fog doesn't turn when you call its name. I saw the soft red glow of the kid's eyes in the dark, and gave them a wave. It really was just like the first time I fell.

"…Hey," they said after a moment. They looked me over but didn't make any move to come closer. "What happened to you?"

Oh, it's a whole fucking story. To give you the short version, I killed Sans and there's a guard chasing me. Also, I don't know the way out of here.

"Straight through this path," they said automatically, switching into 'guide mode'. "Just a little bit further and you'll get to Hotland, I still recognize this place."

Well that sounds great because I don't feel like sticking around. Anyways, what happened to you after we got separated, how'd you get here? I feel like everyone I meet has the tendency to appear in front of me despite walking in the opposite direction the last time I saw them.

Chara darkened, literally. The gray stormclouds of smoke that surrounded them turned black and churned anxiously. "I… don't know," they admitted. "I passed out and when I woke up, you called my name."

Something about the way they said that seemed slightly dishonest, like they were omitting something.

But I was pretty sure prompting them for more information would yield nothing at best, and the wrath of a moody kid at worst. So I just starting walking and pretended not to notice that unlike before, Chara walked behind me and not to the side of me. Whatever. They were a kid, they were a ghost, and maybe whatever happened while we were away had spooked them more than they let on, since they didn't feel the need to converse other than give me directions.

We trudged (and floated, I guess) out of the murky water and garbage piles without incident. "Go to the right up here, then straight," Chara instructed at an intersection, and I obeyed. Neither of us felt like lingering, though I'm pretty sure it was for different reasons.

We didn't even say anything to each other that wasn't about where to go until we reached a bridge that connected two cliffs. A rickety, wooden bridge. With only darkness below it.

Fuck me.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Chara said dismissively. Then again, they weren't the ones who had to worry about a guard destroying the thing under their feet.

I was a little more than halfway across when I heard it.

"Yo!"

Ah, shit.

Chara was on edge immediately. "Who's that?"

Just… some kid.

And there he is, in the flesh. Monster kid walked across the platform, a lot more bravely than I would have expected of someone who had exactly zero arms and tripped often.

"You know him?" the kid- my kid, asked.

Yeah I know him, though I haven't seen him in a while.

"Hey, dude!" he came to a stop and greeted me, but his smile seemed to waver and I found out why. His next words made my stomach drop.

"Listen, um, I need to ask you about something."

* * *

It seemed like a good idea at the time, though now Monster Kid was starting to have doubts.

On the one hand, Undyne had specifically told him to stay away from the human. She said it was the most dangerous thing he could be near, that he should wait for her to return for him. He'd been half-tempted to agree with her, because it was _Undyne_ , and she knew best. But really, what was there to be afraid of? He hadn't seen the supposed 'human' anywhere. And even if they were around, why was Undyne worried? There was nothing she couldn't beat in a fight! Well, except maybe the king, but that was a different story.

He looked up at his friend. The guy was a little weird, what with the red eyes and the tendency to stay quiet, but Monster Kid refrained from making any judgements based on his appearance. He seemed pretty cool as far as adults went, but something was nagging at him about the dude. An idea that made slightly too much sense when paired with Undyne's warning about some kind of strange creature that was supposedly in Waterfall.

 _Just ask, then,_ he told himself. _Just ask, what's so hard about it?_

A lot, as it turned out.

"Should you be here?" His friend asked before he could work up the nerve. "This place isn't exactly safe."

"Well uh," he faltered for a second. "You're here, aren't you? So it can't be that bad. Besides, I uh, can't go home. I don't think anyone's back in Snowdin anyways."

The guy tilted his head, as if talking to someone else, and didn't respond. _Now's my chance,_ he decided, and cleared his throat.

"So like, there's something I wanted to ask you," he began, as those glassy red eyes stared back at him. He thought the guy was just a weird monster but now…

"I know the doors to the Ruins haven't been opened in like, forever, not since the last human fell down here. And Undyne was warning me about a human wandering around in here, she said that they were the reason we had to leave town in a hurry, that they hurt people."

She had said more than that to him, even if she seemed to pause and choose her words carefully while explaining it to him. Monster Kid had seen Undyne multiple times. He had watched her break up fights, start plenty, train until even she was exhausted, and it had been awesome every time.

But today had been the first time he had seen her angry, and it was definitely not as awesome as any other time.

The other guy was still as a statue, something that was a little off-putting, but not enough to stop him from continuing.

"Can you just… tell me the truth, dude? Are you… did you do what she said you did?"

His red eyes stared into Monster Kid's, but somehow he got the impression he wasn't meeting his gaze. As if he was trying not to answer.

"…Well… come on, dude. Say something! I don't- I don't want to believe that…"

He broke eye contact and looked to the side. The guy still didn't say anything, and the silence stretched on, long enough for him to feel uneasy at the suspicion in his chest that more and more seemed like the truth.

"You shouldn't be here," he- the _human_ said in a voice that almost seemed detached, like he was bored out of his mind. "This place isn't- look, you should leave, alright?"

"You-" he tried, then started to backpedal as the first touches of horrifying realization settled in. "You really- Undyne was right about…"

As if he had summoned her, Monster Kid heard the distinctive clatter of her armored footsteps. The bridge shuddered for a moment, just enough for a loose floorboard to bump up against the back of his foot and make him lose his balance.

He tripped.

* * *

Chara and I stopped our debate on how to answer the kid in an instant. I don't even know if I was thinking for what happened next, because everything seemed to happen in a slow-motion blur.

No, wait, that's just more GRX kicking in.

I bounded forward. The kid was frozen in an expression of shock as he fell, Undyne was still several yards away, and that was just about all the information I needed.

I dove and fell hard on the bridge, feeling it shudder but hold—then shot my arms out.

He was almost out of my reach when I grabbed him by the shirt. It pulled him back, and I almost thought the fabric would have ripped and sent him plummeting into the dark, but it didn't.

I set him down and got to my feet as soon as I could, making sure I was between him and Undyne. If the kid said anything, I couldn't process it. Drugs that mess with your perception of time do weird things to your senses, and sound is no exception. But eventually, the effect wore off and garbled noise gradually became words.

"Y-yo, dude, you just- y-you…"

And he must have realized that Undyne was still there, actually she was a lot closer now, and I quickly made a decision. No one should have to watch their idol get beaten within an inch of their life.

"Get out of here, kid," I said in my best commanding voice. The gas mask helped a lot with that.

"But-"

"GO!" and this time he didn't argue. He sprinted away.

I turned around to face my nemesis of the past two hours or so. "Undyne?" Chara guessed, and I gave them an affirmative. This is her, all right.

I've seen her before, sprinting between pillars and breaking the bridges I was walking on, but this was the first time I really looked at her. Aside from the armor, the one detail that wasn't really clear from a distance? She was tall. Just as much as me, and she approached with a glowing blue spear in one hand.

"Human," she greeted coldly.

"Undyne."

"This is so dramatic," Chara whispered from the sidelines, settling in to watch. I rolled my eyes then returned my attention to her. We stared each other down, mask to mask, not saying anything like a bunch of assholes.

Then she did something I would never advise if you're about to get into a fight. She took off her armored helmet and glared at me.

She looked a lot like a lakelurk, come to think of it. A vaguely fishy-humanoid face with blue scales, two fins where ears would normally be, and an impressive scar and eyepatch that covered on eye. Oddly enough, the red ponytail poking out of her head was her strangest feature.

"Six," she said at last, her mouth flashing teeth like razors. For a second I blinked and thought she was calling me by name before she continued. "We have six souls. We need seven, and King Asgore can destroy the barrier, can free us all."

"That's… not new information," Chara commented offhandedly. I didn't say anything, but I agreed.

"Do you understand? By taking your soul, we can shatter the barrier. We have been imprisoned here for far too long. Killing you isn't just going to set us free, it's an act of justice."

Anger welled up within me, and I suddenly wanted to shoot her in the face for that remark.

Justice?

Was she fucking serious?

I stared at her, as though looks could convey how stupid she sounded. Take it from me, you retarded fucking fish. I've killed more people than you've ever met, more than you could even think of. After the battle of Hoover dam they had to dig mass graves so big you could see them for miles, so many bodies you could see them from the top of the Lucky 38 tower. And even I wasn't dumb enough to think that everyone had died for the right reasons. At least I knew that on some level, despite the fact I never killed anyone who didn't deserve it, what I did wasn't justice.

If she had just skipped straight to fighting, I could have accepted that. But this pompous asshole, this ceremonial guard dog had the gall to preach about how what she was doing was justice?

What did _Undyne_ know about justice?

"…No," she said at last, as if in answer to my question.

Chara and I looked at her. She sighed and stopped glaring. She almost looked kind of resigned.

"I had a friend in Snowdin. Did you know that?"

I didn't even know people like you could have friends.

"We trained together. And I tried calling him earlier. Look, for everything he did, all the things people say about him, he never misses a call. It doesn't matter what time it is, day, night, whatever. He always answers in the first two rings. I've never even heard his voicemail before."

I wondered why she and Sans knew each other. Her face twisted back into a glare, but there was something different about it. Something sharp in her good eye that wasn't there a few seconds ago. I tried to place where I had seen it before.

"But now he's gone. My friend is gone, and you…"

Hate. That was it. Her eye was shining with hate, and I disliked her a lot less. People who hid behind excuses for their violence disgusted me, but this?

"…I don't care about what you just did for the kid. You can say whatever you like, but it's not going to help. Make no mistake, human. _I'm going to kill you for what you did._ "

Chara grinned in my peripheral vision. "I kind of hoped she'd say that."

I could _work_ with this.

* * *

In the next moment, Undyne didn't think, she _acted_.

Her body surged forward, skirting both edges of the bridge and feinted with her right, then left, and summoned a spear with her left and brought it down in a wide arc.

The human simply dodged every strike, backing up each time or raising a hand to parry her fists. She snarled and summoned a barrage of spears even as the human fell back until neither of them were on the bridge. Light skewered the ground around them as she drew back for a punch-

Then the human brought their hand at her face, and for once in her life, Undyne was too slow. She raised an armored gauntlet up to block, and didn't make it in time.

Stars flashed across her vision—and then Undyne's world suddenly flipped to an angle it shouldn't have. She was vaguely aware of a gloved hand wrapping around her neck as she struggled to breathe. The world seemed to flicker, like a light during a blackout.

She heard a bone-rattling _snap_.

Then her vision came back, and the sight left her confused.

She was looking down, at the smooth dark metal of her breastplate. Only, her arms weren't in front of her. Disconcerted, she tried to put a hand to her head and only felt a tugging sensation in her lower back, then nothing. There wasn't even any pain, and it was the lack of discomfort that made the realization sink in. She couldn't feel her back. She couldn't feel _anything._

" _No,"_ she tried to say, and only felt her lips twitch and throat gurgle in response. Undyne tried to move her hands, her legs, _something_ , but nothing happened. The human had wrenched her head and broken her neck in an instant.

A dark shape casually stepped over her broken body and walked into view. Undyne managed to blink the dirt away to catch a clear glimpse of two red eyes in the shadows. The human.

 _The human._

Nerve damage or not, Undyne could still feel _hate_. She made to summon a spear, but even her magic failed to respond. Fingers twitched against the dirt, but the action was more from neurons firing automatically rather than on purpose, and Undyne didn't take notice.

"That was good," the human said at last, in their mechanical drawl. "I could see your hits coming from a mile away, but you were still pretty fast. Really liked your honesty about why you tried to kill me. It's something I can appreciate."

Were they… complimenting her? Undyne almost felt disgusted, and then-

"Besides, you were a hell of a better fighter than that skeleton back in Snowdin."

-and then Undyne realized she didn't know what hate was until that moment. All she knew was that the human was _going to fucking die for that._ Her vision swam with red and tears, and she felt her jaw lock as she commanded herself to get up, to rip the human's soul from their battered body and- and…

"Well. Goodbye, Undyne."

And the human barely gave her another glance before walking away without another word, disappearing into the cavern.

Undyne still fought to get up and give chase, even as her limbs failed to respond. She blinked, and a hazy darkness started to settle in on her vision. It wasn't the kind that appeared whenever her eye was closed, or when a room was too dark. It was a lack of vision entirely, creeping up around the corners of her world and stealing it away, piece by piece. Undyne took a labored breath, then heaved with effort. It was an unfocused, undirected plea at her muscles to obey, and the nothingness around her receded for a moment _she was paralyzed and alone and dying and barely slowed the human down._

They were headed for Hotland next.

 _Alphys was in Hotland._

Suddenly, Undyne felt a burst of determination. She grit her teeth and forced herself to move, and by some miracle of random muscle spasms, she managed to dig her phone out of her pocket where it fell onto the ground. Undyne almost, _almost_ succeeded in picking it up before even her nerves gave out, too frayed and burnt out to continue. The plastic slipped out of her gauntlets and clattered once on the ground, and this time was no stopping the feeling of death, growing closer, colder, and refusing to back down.

As she stared at the phone while her broken body finally started to shut down, Undyne felt like she had failed to protect other monsters. She felt as though she had broken the only promise she made that had truly mattered in her life.

Then Undyne was no more.

* * *

 _You gained 500 EXP_

 _EXP to LV 51: ? / 193,750_

* * *

 _A/N: A few lines in this chapter may have sounded familiar. Can you spot the references? Eh, I'll probably mark them in a later edit._

 _Also, I've read the guidelines, but I still have to wonder on what, specifically, the statute of limitations are for a T-rated story, considering I just wrote about someone getting paralyzed from the neck down, having just enough time to reflect on their failures, and then dying. Not even counting that whole bit before any of that._

 _Oh well, no one's ever seriously read a Fallout story and thought to themselves, "I'm sure this will end well!"_

 _But since we're on the subject, if you feel at all uncomfortable with themes that are rather serious and painful to deal with, such as serious mental illness or death, you may not want to continue. I take no responsibilities for any adverse reactions._

 _Anyways, longest chapter yet. Maybe I should start splitting these up into smaller segments instead of deciding to do one whole area at a time… ah well, too late. Anyways, let me know what you think in the reviews, thanks for reading!_


	5. Hotland

_A/N: I don't know if anyone noticed, but I tried to stick to a schedule where I'd post a chapter a month, the day before the previous one. So since the story was last updated on the 19_ _th_ _in June, this was supposed to go up on the 18_ _th_ _of July._

 _As you can see that didn't happen. At first I just didn't write for a few weeks since I wasn't up to it, and then some inconvenient events occurred in rapid succession, which deprived me of spare time, internet access, and will to write, causing what some might refer to as, a 'delay'. But enough excuses, time for a chapter. Happy new years, everyone._

* * *

Hotland

* * *

Leaving Waterfall was like passing from one bizarre circle of hell to another.

I picked up a few things about Hotland before I got there, complements of my handy ghost guide companion. It's one of the most technologically advanced areas in the entire Underground, second only to the CORE, which from what I've gathered is some kind of giant electrical plant/residential area (and don't ask me how that's supposed to work). But what I should have paid attention to, as I sauntered past the 'WELCOME' sign, was the goddamn name. Hotland.

Then I moved far enough to leave the relative cool of Waterfall, and I understood why the place had its name. Suddenly it was like I was back in the Mojave. An uncomfortable heat returned like an old friend, roiling and omnipresent. It came up from literal rivers of lava a dozen stories below, casting a dull orange glow on the sandy rock spires that jutted out of the molten river to form bridges and platforms, creating rocky walkways that seemed to wind on forever in the sweltering haze.

Like I said, bizarre circle of hell. Idly, I wondered if any of the monsters had fallen off one of the ledges before.

"No, it doesn't work that way," Chara appeared at my side, chatty once again. "There are railings, they're just invisible 'cause they're magic."

And maybe I really am going insane because I didn't question that sentence for a second. Out of nothing more than curiosity, I stuck one hand over the edge and felt a _push_ , the way you might feel when trying to join two magnets together at the same poles. Magic railings. Sure. Why not.

Chara shrugged. "Monsters, man. I don't know what else to tell you."

You could start with where we go from here, I suggested.

"There's an elevator ahead and to the left, and-" they trailed off, staring into the distance. "What is _that_?"

I followed their eyes. Jutting out of the rocky soil sat one of the largest intact buildings I had ever seen. A blocky structure that seemed to stretch into the ceiling, with pipes and wires running across its upper floors, lights dotting every side. All of it, made out of a shining silvery material that must have been a composite of concrete and steel. If I saw it in a picture I wouldn't have been able to tell which side was the bottom or the roof. But there was no mistaking the word painted above the front door. 'LAB'.

"That's new," Chara said once the shock wore off. "Or at least, this wasn't around when I was here."

I wondered, idly, how long ago Chara had lived. Considering that in the time between then and now, the Monsters had enough spare time and resources to create a massive laboratory in a place that wasn't forgiving to anything but the most sturdy of architectural and engineering projects.

Then I brushed the curiosity aside. We had been delayed enough as it was, and coming from me, the biggest offender of being sidetracked, that means it's time to move.

"I don't think this changes anything," the kid continued, "The elevator is still your best bet, for now."

And I saw it, too. Just to my left. One big tower of metal, extending all the way up into the ceiling and probably beyond even that. For all I knew, Hotland was partitioned into multiple floors, and after what happened in Waterfall, I didn't feel like exploring every single inch of the place. Chara was probably right, the elevators were the best option at getting out of here.

The problem were the two guards standing in front of the entrance. Particularly, the one that just caught sight of me and tapped the shoulder of the other guard, pointing out where I was.

"Uh, hey! You!" began the sentry with the- were those _rabbit ears_? -on his helmet. Temporarily labelled Guard-01, pending a better name. "State your business!"

Chara regarded them for a second, then turned to me. "Kill them or lie to them, but be careful. These guys are some of the elite Royal Guard, you can't get past them easily."

We'll see about that.

"Just passing through," I nodded politely at 01. "Is the elevator working?"

"Whoa dude, we're asking the questions around here," said 01. "Why weren't you with the rest of the evacuees? We finished getting everyone out of Waterfall like, a while ago."

"...Not everyone," said the other guard. There weren't enough distinctive features on him for a nickname. Fuck it, he's Guard-02.

"Right, but like, what held you up? Did you see any suspicious people who could have been humans out there? 'Cause we're like, supposed to be on the lookout for any, and I'm not really sure what a human looks like." said 01.

"...Two legs. Two arms. Something about red eyes. I think."

"Bro, there's no way! Like, how are we supposed to tell apart a human from any other monster like that?"

"I take it back," said Chara. "You can definitely get past these two with ease."

"I had to stay behind and look for my child," I answered, betting on the classic technique of sidestepping one question while answering the other with a half-truth. "He must have run through here, did you see him? Short, striped yellow shirt?"

Judging by how the tension leaked out of 01's frame, it was the correct response.

"Oh, that was your kid? Sorry man, didn't realize. Uh, we sent him on the elevator and told him how to get to the shelters in New Home, but you can't follow him from here."

"Why?" Chara and I asked.

01 scratched at his bunny-eared helm. "Well like, this elevator is closest to Waterfall, so everyone who was coming in from there was using it. But like, we're pretty sure this one elevator wasn't meant to carry everyone from Snowdin and Waterfall all at once, so now it's busted until we can get someone from the elevator company to come out here and fix it."

I looked over his shoulder, and sure enough there was a little plastic 'out of order' sign hung across the elevator doors, at an angle that wasn't visible from the main road. Dammit.

"Well that's just great," Chara groused.

01 looked about as sheepish as you can get while head to toe in plate armor. "Sorry man, you'll have to go around to the R1 elevator on the other side of this floor. Head through Alphys' lab, she'll help you out. It's the big white building right next to us."

I cast a glance at the lab in question before giving the duo a nod. "Alright. And thanks for your help," I added.

02 nodded politely. "...Ma'am."

01 flashed a thumbs-up. "Like, no problem, dude-"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

All four of us turned.

There, floating three feet off the ground and made of stitches and cotton was a dummy. It looked exactly like the one in the Ruins, save for the murderous and very-much alive look in its eyes.

"You!" The dummy screeched at me, and the whole thing isn't even strange enough to faze me, how fucked up is that? "You're that rude human who's been making a mess of things! What were you THINKING?! Killing monsters! Driving everyone out of their homes! Ignoring my cousin! Well?! Explain yourself!"

...Is this a monster?

"No," said Chara. "I'm pretty sure it's a ghost-"

"Whoa, calm down, dude," 01 stepped between us. Chara looked irritated. "These are some serious accusations, this monster hasn't-"

"That's not a monster, DUMMY!" it screamed, making the guards take a step back. "Look at it! It's a human!"

02 turned his attention to me.

Oh for fuck's sake, please don't.

01's eyeslits took a moment to narrow. "Wait a minute… two arms, two legs… bro, are you thinking..?"

02 drew a sword. "Red eyes…" he muttered.

God dammit. I still didn't want to kill any of these things.

"Uh, hey! Alleged-human! In the name of King Asgore's Royal Guard, we're going to have to ask you to come with us for questioning- hey, what are you doing?"

"Here we go again," Chara murmured as I palmed an incendiary grenade, and I might have been imagining things but the kid sounded almost _eager_.

Then the Dummy dashed towards me, the guards raised swords, and that thought was swept aside.

 _Fuck it_ , I thought, pulling the pin and eyeing the dummy. _Ghost or not, I bet it's flammable._

Three seconds and a lot of screaming later, I won another bet.

* * *

"No, no- come on!"

Alphys paced back and forth in front of her desk, feeling more nervous and helpless than ever before as she stared at the new alert flashing across her phone's screen. Undyne had missed all seven of her calls, didn't open any of her 23 text messages, and failed to respond to her 12 private messages on UnderNet.

Not good. Not good at _all_. Undyne was hardly glued to her phone at all times, but Alphys had never known the captain of the Royal Guard to be hard to reach, ever.

It struck her for a moment how strange it was, that after everything she had done to get away from answering phone calls, allowing her mail to pile up in heaps of letters, and in general seclude herself from the rest of Monsterkind, she was now wishing more than anything that the monster on the other end would pick up the phone.

Then Undyne didn't pick up on the eighth call, and the thought was replaced by the more pertinent and familiar _oh my god oh my god please be okay please pick up please, please-_

Alphys took a deep breath and grabbed the edges of the desk. She stayed that way until her breathing leveled out. Calm again, or close enough to it.

"Okay," she sighed to herself, then focused. What could she do to fix the problem? Logically, one part of her mind told her, the first step was to evaluate the issue and go over what options she had.

There was no way to communicate with Undyne if she wasn't answering her phone. And since the Royal Guard's only real presence in Waterfall was Undyne herself, Alphys couldn't call someone else in the area to go looking, which limited her to the precious few cameras in the region that still functioned.

It would have to do, she reflected grimly. Alphys tapped her keyboard to wake up the computer, then tabbed over to the CCTV program. She squinted at grainy footage, panning each camera back and forth until she was certain there was nothing of note on the screen. The pond outside Undyne's house, more still and silent than ever before. The road to Hotland, just in case Undyne had tried to make her way- wait, were those footprints on the trail?

She cursed the camera's low resolution before switching to the more up-to-date surveillance grid of Hotland. That was better. There was definitely a set of footprints, and the size _could_ have been from Undyne's boots, but…

Alphys frowned. Undyne didn't usually wear her armor in Hotland, so why were the tracks so large?

The front door started to slide apart.

In an act of of swiftness honed by the countless times Alphys ran to the bathroom to make it look like she wasn't home, she ran to the bathroom. Making it look like she wasn't home. The scientist pulled out her phone as soon as the doors closed behind her, pulling up the feed from the few cameras in her lab that could see the entrance, and by extension, whoever had-

Oh.

OH.

"Eep," she managed in a sound not unlike a mouse being squeezed, because really, how else was she supposed to respond to seeing it on-screen, knowing it was just a few feet from her spot?

The thing that had set off every alarm from Snowdin to New Home.

The creature responsible for the state of emergency across the entire Underground.

 _The human_.

It was _big_ , that was the first thing Alphys noted about it, her mind automatically switching into analytical mode. The thing had to be least as tall as Undyne by the way it towered over her lab equipment, forcing it to bend down and inspect it all, and wasn't that a little strange! It paused in front of the monitors and her computer, mask gazing at every detail with an odd mix of speed and thoroughness that just seemed downright creepy.

And yet, Alphys couldn't help but keep observing as it started to interact with her computer, moving the mouse and tapping keys because- well, when was the last time anyone had ever seen a human? All issues aside, there was immense scientific data just waiting to be collected right in front of- oh goodness gracious they were moving again.

Alphys stood paralyzed with her phone at her side for a moment, then reached for the door button, fumbled it, and walked into the main room, just like she had practiced earlier. Except for real this time.

"Oh. My. God."

She glanced nervously from side to side, hoping the human would be fooled, wouldn't realize it was all a charade to buy time.

"I- I didn't expect you to be here so soon! I'm hardly dressed, I didn't shower, I…"

The human stared. Alphys fought down a gulp. There was something entirely different about seeing the human right in front of her and not on a screen, a quality she couldn't put into words. Tall, clad head to toe in a coat and armored plates with a dull bracer that bore countless scratches yet seemed more foreboding than even Undyne's suit of armor. And those eyes… they glowed an immutable red that Alphys swore could see through her soul.

"U-um, hi!" she squeaked out. At least she didn't have to fake the stammer. "I-I'm Dr. Alphys! The, uh, Royal Scientist! Uh, but, I'm not one of the 'bad guys.' You probably didn't notice b-but, I've been watching you since you left the Ruins! Your encounters, the puzzles you solved…"

The human didn't react at all. It just kept staring.

Alphys' nervous grin wavered.

"Ah, b-but I didn't quite see everything in Waterfall, the uh, cameras there don't cover everything. You're okay, right? Did Undyne slow you down?"

"No," said the human, startling her.

"Oh. W-well good!" Hopefully Undyne would be calling soon then, assuming they were telling the truth. "Well um, I was originally supposed to capture you, but you know, watching someone through a screen… it really makes you start to root for them! A-and with my expertise, I can guide you through all of Hotland with ease!"

"Thanks. But that's not necessary," said the human. "I just need to know how to get to the 'R1' elevator. That's all."

Alphys frowned. Rejection aside, they sounded… well, like nothing at all she had ever heard before. A neutral tone that wasn't quite gravelly or synthesized, but set her on edge all the same.

"W-well, you might still want my help!" She gave the wall a glance. "The thing is, a long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. As an entertainer, I mean. A robotic TV star. You know, like in anime!"

"...Like a what?" the human sounded genuinely confused. Maybe they weren't aware of that part of their culture?

"Uh, nothing. Point is, he was mostly just a performer! Until I uh, added a few anti-human combat features? And when I saw you coming, I tried to take them out but- ah, this is a little embarrassing, I only succeeded in turning him into a bloodthirsty killer robot, you see…"

Alphys braced herself, preparing for at least an outburst, only for the human to… relax? "I see. That's fine. But can you please tell me how to get to the other elevator on this floor? The one outside is… out of service."

Oh. That wasn't- not exactly the reaction she was expecting. Hopefully Mettaton was in position by now. "Um, yes. H-here, take this phone, I've um, already set it up so it has my contact info and everything. I can help guide you with it from here," she said, passing over a spare device. The human turned it over in their hands silently.

Alphys coughed once. "Um, you can keep that! I just- I have lots of cell phones lying around, you know, Royal Scientist. I get a discount on them. Just um, head through the exit on the other side of the lab, and keep heading east. I'll guide you from there. And with any luck, we won't run into Mettaton," she said, casting a quick glance at the wall.

 _Come on, come on._

The human nodded at her, made to move and then-

 _Clang._

-Stopped. They turned their head and looked at the wall.

Alphys' heart skipped a beat. "U-um, did you hear something?"

 _CLANG._

Alphys gave the signal. "Oh no."

Every light in the lab went dark, save for a pair of glowing red dots.

"OHHHHH YES! WELCOME BEAUTIES," a voice rang out, synthetic and booming from every speaker in the room. "TO TODAY'S QUIZ SH- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"Huh?" Alphys asked. That part wasn't in the script! "Wh-who are you talking to?"

"WELL, YOU, DOCTOR. OBVIOUSLY," Mettaton huffed an electronic sigh as the lights switched on again. "WHO ELSE?"

"...The human?" Alphys offered.

"WHAT? WHERE?" Mettaton rotated his chassis from left to right. "ALPHYS, IF THIS IS A PRANK, IT'S NOT VERY FUNNY."

Alphys looked to her left, confirming the human was there, staring at Mettaton, motionless as ever. Was his heartbeat sensor not functioning properly? He should have registered at least _something_ was there. "It's not a prank! The human is standing right-"

She pointed, then did a double take. The human was gone.

* * *

"That wasn't a robot," said Chara. "I mean, yeah, it was a robot _body_ , but the actual mind in that thing was a ghost."

 _Like you?_ I thought, slipping through the lab's other exit, unseen by the freaky Securitron or the scientist. I took the time to give the phone she gave me another glance. It was a flat rectangular thing, glassy and thin. Nothing at all like my Pip Boy. I didn't like it.

"No," and this time Chara's voice grew dark, the way it would when they were mentioning something that bothered them more than the ghost child wanted to admit. "Not like me. To start, it's almost certainly the ghost of a monster, not a human. But that aside, did you think there was something 'off' about Alphys?"

You noticed that too, huh? I thought, walking over rocky cliffs and conveyor belt sidewalks.

I thought there was something strange about her. I mean, what kind of person had a giant folder on their computer that required a password to access? Someone with something to hide, that's who. I didn't know what 'Hentai' was, but I was going to find out.

Chara's cheeks turned a shade of color I couldn't pin down. "It's- uh, not important."

Clearly it is, why else were they so well-encrypted that even I couldn't access them?

"Look, don't worry about it. It's an anime thing."

There's that word again! What the hell even is an 'anime'?"

The kid glowered. "A mistake. Look, seriously, don't worry about it. It's not important. For now, just focus on these puzzles."

Fine.

As usual, that's not a very difficult request. Much like everything else in the Underground, the puzzles in Hotland could be solved by a ten year old in about six or seven minutes. The only difference between them and any other region though, was the puzzle itself. Lasers that, according to a phone call with the dubiously-truthful Doctor Alphys, wouldn't harm a moving target, and lasers that could only harm a moving object. Steam vents that could propel me, in all my armor and laden with all my equipment, exactly the right distance to get from one rocky plateau to another.

Chara had shrugged once again. "Monsters."

As usual, I didn't question it.

Honestly, the real question was, 'is this how Monsters live?' Every time they need to go somewhere, did they just consider the puzzles as an important part of the journey? Or were they just switched on for me? Why would they even go to that trouble? Does someone have to reset all these once they're solved?

These are the sorts of deep philosophical musings I have when left alone for too long in an Underground maze that constantly makes me question my sanity.

"That reminds me," my ghost-child companion said as I dutifully went to solve the puzzle required to open the 'only door that linked one half of Hotland to the other for some-fucking-reason'. "Any luck on figuring out how you ended up here? In the Underground, I mean."

It's a very good question, one that I still can't answer, though not for lack of trying. All I ever got when trying to recollect was a hazy blur of walking, through so many different places and trails that it was hard to tell which memory happened before the other. But what I had definitely been able to piece together—over the course of my surreal little journey—was that I had been on the move with a purpose, trying to get somewhere, and then- and then…

I frowned. Why _had_ I ended up in the Underground? It's not like there was anything up there that could have scared me into thinking jumping down a bottomless hole was the better option. And I had spent a good chunk of my life dodging everything from heavy artillery to the poison stingers of mutated super-wasps, all with only some scratches to show for it. I doubt my reflexes failed me to the point where I tripped and fell by accident, which only made Chara's question more frustrating. Why indeed had I fallen down?

I was so lost in thought I didn't even realize I solved the puzzle, walked through the door, and into a dark room. I just switched over to nightvision without even consciously realizing until the lights came on.

By the way, it's common courtesy not to turn the lights on when someone else has their NV gear up. Just throwing that out there for future reference.

"You okay?" Chara asked after I was done swearing. I gave a nod. It wasn't the first time that happened, and probably wouldn't be the last, but goddamn if I wasn't sick of- wait.

Why were we in a _kitchen_?

" _Oh no,"_ Alphys' voice buzzed in from the phone.

"Oh for fuck's sake," said Chara. I was tempted to echo them.

"OHHHH YES!" said Mettaton, rising from behind the kitchen counter. The robot was shaped like some strange cousin of Mr. House's Securitrons. Two tube-like arms and a single wheel connected to a rectangular chassis made of metal and adorned with a gaudy screen that never stayed one color for long. Unlike the Securitrons however, the so-called 'entertainment robot/killing machine' didn't seem to possess the pods on its shoulders that its more deadly siblings used to house their missile tubes, favoring a microphone instead.

Also, it was sporting a chef's hat.

"WELCOME, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!" it boomed in a synthesized screech as a banner dropped in. I didn't bother to read it. I was growing tired of this shit already, and wasn't in the mood to sneak past it again.

"Good, same here," Chara muttered.

"PLEASE WELCOME MY LOVELY ASSISTANT THIS EVENING, A REAL-LIVE HUMAN!" said the robot, this time pointing at me. "AND DON'T THINK YOU CAN WEASEL YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, DARLING. MY VISION MODES HAVE BEEN UPGRADED TO SEE THROUGH YOUR TRICKS!"

"That's alright," I said, feeling along my belt for- ah, there it is. See, it's times like these that hoarding a good variety of grenades comes in very handy. "I've dealt with killer robots before. Catch."

"...I BEG YOUR PARDON?"

The pulse grenade I threw hit it with a metallic _clonk_!

Surprisingly, the robot's arm shot out, grabbing the offending device out of the air and staying upright.

"Uh," Chara paused and glanced at me. "Was that supposed to explode?"

"WELL!" the machine huffed. "THAT WAS RUDE! I TOLD YOU AT THE START, THIS WAS A COOKING SHOW! THE ATHLETICS SEGMENT ISN'T SCHEDULED UNTIL-"

That was as far as it got before the pulse grenade went off.

Mettaton's whole body stiffened. Half the lights on his front blew out, and all of them went dark. My own helmet dimmed for a second, vision flickered, but held. The military-grade equipment was EMP-hardened, and the pulse from that grenade was well below what was required to fry the internal electronics. The same could not be said, I noted, for Mettaton.

I reached out and tapped it on the front. It swayed back, internal gyro's compensated to swing forward, but whatever software was meant to keep it upright had gone down when every circuit got blown sky high. Mettaton wobbled and crashed like so much shattered glass and metal at my feet.

"Huh. Nice work, didn't realize they made handheld emps," Chara said as I sidestepped the broken machine. "Though that might have ended up upsetting Alphys. You should probably think up an excuse."

 _Hey, I'm not the one who sicced a killer robot on someone else for no reason,_ I thought. _Also, it's an electromagnetic pulse grenade. E-M-P._

"Right. Which spells 'emp'."

Whatever. I wasn't in the mood to argue the point, but I did see the logic in giving the doctor a call about her robot. It took me a second to dig out the phone I had been given. At least it was sturdy enough to survive the EMP blast as well. The whole thing lit up, and I looked at every side again to confirm that there were no buttons, just a screen. Before I could figure out how the hell to even use something like that, the screen changed.

INCOMING CALL: Dr. Alphys

A green symbol of a phone—an actual phone, not the flat rectangle I'd been given—appeared next to a red symbol. I tapped the green one.

" _Hello?!"_ Alphys shouted. I kept the phone away from my ears. Tinnitus isn't a joke. " _All the cameras went down, j-just when you two were talking. What happened?"_

I wonder how you say 'I killed your robot, don't worry he had it coming', but diplomatically.

"There was an incident," I said.

" _What?"_

"I said-"

" _Hello? Hello?! Is th-... -even working?.. lo-?"_

The phone went dead in a burst of static. I looked at the screen. Completely blank.

Forget what I said earlier, the EMP _really_ did a number on it. Are all 'cell phones' made this flimsy?

…

Chara?

I looked around, and only then did I notice where I was. Between the edge of the kitchen set piece and the welcome sight of an elevator ahead. I wasn't nearly so relieved to see it as I thought I would be. Partly because I realized the kid was gone, and partly because I saw who had taken their place.

"You," I muttered.

It was the kid. It wasn't the kid. Spikey, striped shirt, but there were a few discrepancies. It was a familiar monochrome gray-white, and the eyes were deader than Mettaton. It was some kind of Monster, and not the type the Underground was full of.

But something else happened that further cemented the event as 'extremely fucked up'. The light and sound started to die down. Even the glow of the lava was reduced to a soft orange tint that barely lit up the ground. It put the rest of the world into total darkness, save for the backdrop of a great machine of more pipes, metal, and wiring. It loomed over us, so enormous it was impossible to tell how I hadn't noticed it at first.

" _Well here we are,"_ the Thing spoke at last. " _It's an honor to finally meet you again, Courier."_

That sentence was all kinds of fucked, and not the least bit because of 'finally meet you _again_.'

" _Haha…_ " it didn't even move when it talked. " _More than you know. But I suppose you haven't met me before, but you've met Me. Do you remember?"_

 _Yes,_ I thought. _But I was keeping quiet about it because I thought it would be kind of funny._

" _We met, and We talked, and We came to an understanding, as you'll soon recall. Did you not pay attention to the terms?"_

Fucking enlighten me.

" _You will find out on your own in time. For now, I bear a message from the Doctor."_

I imagine you're not talking about the same doctor as the one I was just calling on the phone.

There was a noise, something that could have almost been a hum or a purr, that seemed to make the whole world reverberate in the most unease-inducing way possible. It took me a second to realize the noise was coming from the not-kid. It took me another second to realize it might have been _laughing_.

" _You must stop,"_ it said, and there was something charged in those words, something that made the light and the machine pulse in and out of focus. " _You think you are here to escape. You think that getting past the barrier will set you free. You are wrong. The only way out-"_

It flickered, collapsed as reality suddenly remembered to get back in place, but not without depriving the thing of a parting goodbye.

" _You cannot trust. Please don't forget this, too. You'll regret it._ "

...What the fuck did any of that even _mean_?

"What did what mean?" asked Chara. They were at my side again, looking as if nothing had ever happened. As if the world hadn't briefly gone to hell for a minute or two.

I made to answer—and held my tongue. Call it a gut feeling, instinct, or a subconscious message, but there was something preventing me from answering the question. Something told me that letting Chara know what had happened would be very _very_ bad.

So I came up with an excuse.

 _The phone_ , I deflected. _It died before I could reach Alphys. I was wondering what she meant._

"Oh," the kid looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, who cares. I'm sure we'll find out sooner or later. At least the elevator's right here."

 _Right_ , I thought, stepping into it. All the buttons were laid out before me, but only a few were lit up.

 _Only way out is forward_ , I thought, and felt a little surprise when Chara asked why I was muttering that to myself.

* * *

The cameras in Hotland were still down.

Alphys sighed. Nothing was working ever since Mettaton tried to broadcast the human on his cooking show. Even her phone wasn't working! How was that supposed to make any sense?

Alphys sighed again before she started the long and arduous process of rebooting the system; she walked to the other side of her desk and unplugged her computer. She waited fifteen seconds, then plugged it back in before turning her phone off and on again. She drummed her fingers uneasily on the desk as the startup logos appeared on the monitors.

 _Well_ , she reflected, _at least the day wasn't all bad_. She had actually gotten to see a real human up close, and lived to tell the tale! Granted, there wasn't much to tell, but already there was so much knowledge the scientist was eager to put into records. There were legends, of course, and a few anecdotes from some of the old-timers, but when was the last time anyone had ever recorded a human's problem-solving skills, or given a firsthand report on their psychology?

And speaking of, for a threat to all the Underground, the human didn't really seem _that_ bad, she thought. Granted, they were a little creepy, but maybe that wasn't intentional, and it was hardly fair to hold them accountable for little things like that. Besides, had they really done anything wrong? Now that there had been time to calm down, Alphys wondered at what charges were being held against the human aside from the fact that they were… well, a human. As she recalled from the emergency announcement, Undyne had only been wary after a sentry called in an alert and her friend wasn't picking up his phone, and there were plenty of reasons why that could happen. Maybe he had just forgotten to charge it.

Plus, Undyne had read her text messages, and (even if she had yet to respond) that had to count for something!

Alphys chuckled to herself. "Maybe I am just being paranoid," she mumbled as her computer finally displayed her desktop. She opened up the surveillance programs and unlocked her phone. Maybe she could tell Mettaton to ease off on-

The door on the west side of the lab slide open in its distinctive _whoosh_.

Alphys reflexively turned around.

Seconds later, she screamed.

* * *

 _A/N: Imagine. This chapter took me literal months to write. I started it, scrapped it more than twice, and wrote it painfully slowly, bit by bit. And I can guarantee you that not only are most readers going to breeze through it all in about ten minutes, but it's probably full of grammatical errors that you just can't see when you're trying to check for them at 6 in the morning._

 _Well I hope you'll forgive me for the wait. Maybe this year will have frequent updates. New year, new me, right? I hope 2018's been kind to you so far. Believe it or not, earlier today, I beat Getting Over It, With Bennett Foddy. Who knows what the future holds? Another chapter, that comes out in less than two years? An actual improvement in my writing style? We will have to wait and see._

 _Lastly, please continue to supply me with reviews, as they are my only means of knowing what I do right (more like write, haha I hate myself) and wrong, and getting to hear you, yes you, the people, is truly the highlight of writing on this site._

 _Or don't leave a review. I am not a beggar._

 _Cheers,_

 _-Swimmingcop_


	6. CORE

_A/N: Surprise, you thought this update was going to take me approximately nine centuries, didn't you? To tell the truth, so did I, but my hazy update schedule aside, I'm very excited. I've been looking forward to the next few parts since the very start of this story, and we are almost upon them. There'll be drama, bloodshed, mystery, and complimentary refreshments in the lobby. It'll be great. Just you wait. The next chapter will be out any second now._

 _...I wonder if anyone else writes like I do, where I set a goal for when the chapter should come out, I write a little bit to start, do nothing for a month, then write the whole thing in about two nights._

 _I wonder if these remarks will even matter once the story's complete and anyone who reads this won't have to suffer from my update speed, but oh well. Here's your chapter._

* * *

CORE

* * *

 _It was done._

 _The two royal guards nodded to each other. They grasped the activation lever, grunting at the effort it took to move. But sure enough, the CORE came to life in a brilliant flash of neon light as soon as the switch reached the 'on' position. Around the guards, monsters that had gathered from every corner of the Underground started to cheer, a deafening wall of noise that rose inexorably as the lights came on—and stayed on._

 _There were vendors that had traveled from as far as Snowdin to sell food and novelty T-shirts to locals. Reporters from the Hotland Times, New Home News, and The Daily Waterfall were excitedly chattering amongst themselves, hoping for an exciting new detail to their story. Among them all, residents of the newly-christened CORE Residential Area and far-off visitors alike continued to cheer wildly. For them, the thermo-magical power plant's activation was the first good news they had heard in a long time, and it showed in all of them._

 _Except for a short skeleton in a blue jacket._

 _No one noticed him when he purchased a hot dog off one of the street vendors, or at least, no one paid him a second glance. After all, there were plenty more interesting things to be looking at, like the number of impromptu parades, dance parties, and the concert that an especially bold Shyren was putting on. So it came as no surprise to the skeleton that no one saw him look around the room, sigh through his teeth, then disappear into thin air._

" _you missed the party," he commented as soon as the world reappeared—metal hallways and neon lights materializing before him. It was almost identical to the atrium-like room he had just been in save for one major difference._

 _There were only two monsters in it._

" _i get it, it's not your scene but after all that work i figured you wouldn't want to be all-" sans paused. In the distance, one could hear a faint drumroll. "a-_ _ **bone**_ _."_

 _The lab was beyond silent. It was so soundless sans could hear his thoughts._

" _aw c'mon, you could at least sigh in disappointment, you know?" sans paused. "no, really, what's with the silent treatment?"_

" _Tachyons."_

 _Sans blinked at the doctor's unfamiliar tone, then blinked again out of confusion. "uh, bless you?"_

 _The doctor didn't respond, and the skeleton walked cautiously to the royal scientist's workspace, a neat collection of desks and whiteboards arranged around an office chair. The scientist in question was holding a paper in his hands at an angle sans couldn't see._

" _These readings, these results," he murmured. "None of them are as they should be. Not instrumentation failure, not across so much of our equipment. What is it, then? Are we asking the wrong questions?"_

" _doc?" and that only barely got his attention, the doctor waving him off as if to say 'not now.' It wasn't until he grabbed several other papers and tapped at a computer while Sans waited patiently that either of them spoke again._

" _Sans."_

" _yup. that's me."_

" _Our testing equipment is near-flawless. They have many faults, but the ability to take accurate readings is not one of them. And with the CORE's energy output, we now have a practical way of fueling some of our more ambitious testing devices."_

" _yep, nice, you're two for two."_

 _The scientist held up the papers again before muttering to himself. "Then- no, a malfunction, perhaps our model was wrong. The-"_

" _doc, stop," Sans sighed. "can you just- explain, please?"_

 _The doctor paused as if only just realizing Sans' presence. "The tachyon-detection machine is not functioning as expected," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world._

 _Sans blinked again._

 _The doctor spared him a glance. "I suppose you wouldn't have gotten to that point in your lessons," he mused before straightening up. "Tachyons. Hypothetical subatomic particles, they travel faster than light and backwards in time. Existence is hard to prove or disprove, rendering them more as a mathematical curiosity rather than a real exotic particle."_

 _Sans nodded. He understood most of that and knew it was best to hold questions until the end of the doctor's lectures. "sounds like you could get some real interesting data if you could ever find them," he offered._

" _Precisely," the doctor agreed. "Given accurate-enough readings and the proper methods, some believe it may be possible to even predict future events."_

 _He motioned at a blueprint on the table. "I have long theorized a machine capable of detecting them, using much of our recovered samples of human technology and our own magic engineering. Though I have been unable to use it until now, the CORE being the only generator capable of powering it. Had I only completed it sooner..."_

" _i get it, but what's the problem? if the machine is broken, you can just-"_

" _It's not the machine being faulty that worries me," the doctor interrupted. "It's if it's right. I will need to run more tests. Before…"_

 _He trailed off, Sans forgotten, bundle of papers in hand as he headed for the door._

 _It was only when he left the room did Sans dare to look at the files and papers strewn across the desk. There were datasheets and graphs that only the doctor could make sense of, though Sans was confident he could figure them out given a few minutes. But what caught his eye was a photograph, blurry and warped, as if whatever film it had been on caught fire. He could barely make out a vaguely bipedal figure, a red glow around its head, and something else out of frame, too hard to make out._

 _And below that, pointing to the figure, were words inked in red, 'COMPLETE TEMPORAL COLLAPSE. CAUSE? OR EFFECT? NEED FURTHER DATA.'_

 _Sans realized, only after he set the picture down, that he knew what had been in Dr. W.D. Gaster's voice that he had never heard before._

 _Fear._

* * *

The elevator doors slide open with such ease that it had to have seen either constant maintenance or little in the way of passengers.

And judging by the empty corridors and platforms that made up the road ahead, I was inclined to think it was the latter.

"Can I ask," Chara began after I took a few steps out, "why we're here?"

I ignored them in favor of looking around. It was a sheer drop off of one side, but the other path went on and split into several forks.

"I mean, you're always talking about how you don't want to waste time and you want my help to get out of here as quick as you can, but then you do this-" the kid motioned, searching for the right word, "-gallivanting around, and for no real reason. We can just skip this floor, you know? It's not-"

I sighed. They were a little endearing and kind of useful at first but by now, I was getting real sick of this kid's shit.

And apparently I was thinking that so intently that Chara noticed, scowling at me. "Oh you're one to talk, what have you even gotten out of wasting time down here?"

Tell you what, kid. When you've got a functioning corporeal body and you're not trapped as an annoying ghost, you can set the rules on adventuring. Until then, be quiet. Are we clear?

Chara glared, but didn't stop me from picking up a worn and stained apron left on the ground. Might be good for repairing my coat.

Whatever. They weren't exactly wrong, stopping here had been a bit of a waste of my time. And maybe I was being a little rude, but still, you don't ask someone to travel with them and then pester them. Depending on what kind of person you're tagging along with, that kind of shit can get you shot. Not that I would do that, or that it would even work on a ghost, but the point still stands.

Also, you never realize how annoying a child can be until you're stuck with one.

I stepped back into the elevator and hit the button for the third floor, ignoring Chara's bitchfit for the moment. I almost did a double take as the doors closed, for a second I could have sworn there was another child outside the doors, frying pan in hand.

Maybe I really am going crazy.

* * *

"I…" Alphys sighed. "I wish I had done this sooner."

Undyne tilted her head slightly in confusion, and Alphys turned scarlet. "N-not this, I meant th-that, that I told you how I felt about," Alphys waved a screwdriver around. "All this. You."

"It's fine," Undyne ground out. Alphys winced, the vocoder attached to her helmet had been a spare part for Mettaton, and while it (thankfully) didn't sound like the egotistic robot, it was also a poor mockery, at best, of Undyne's real voice.

But when someone had severe nerve damage and you had little time to fix it, sacrifices had to be made.

"W-well, still, I- there's a lot you don't know about me," Alphys tried to examine her handiwork before looking down in defeat. "Despite all the times w-we hung out, I mean. There's a lot I should have- a lot I wish I told you sooner."

Undyne was silent as Alphys switched to a wrench and began tightening the final bolts, something the royal scientist was privately grateful for. It had been one thing, she reflected, to find Undyne at her door, broken and bruised from limping and dragging herself all the way from Waterfall. It had been horrifying and nerve-wracking to fix her many injuries while she told Alphys how the human had bested her, how it mocked her and left her for dead. It had been something of a small shock to Alphys when some of the scanning equipment in her lab reported an excessive amount of determination in Undyne, far more than the average monster.

It had been even more sobering to remember what happened to monsters who had that kind of determination in their bodies for any amount of time.

And it had been heartbreaking to tell Undyne. To tell her how long she could be expected to live. To tell her, exactly, _how_ she had learned that information, and why she sequestered herself in her lab, and just why she had developed a fear of answering the phone, the mail, anything.

Alphys didn't know when exactly the tears started, but at some point her vision had definitely gotten watery, and she had dropped the tools in her hand in favor of crying as the realization of just how much she had been been dealing with all caught up with her all at once.

Undyne had been still. Then, achingly slowly, her arms had gathered around Alphys for a hug that felt, she realized, completely genuine in its care and understanding embrace.

Alphys didn't know exactly why she kept crying, or how long she was doing it, but she knew what she was going to do when it was over and her mind cleared.

She paused at her work, looking over the plans on her computer before turning back to Undyne. It was probably a dumb question to ask, but… "This is the last one. And once I activate it, I… I don't think I'll be able to fix you, even if we make it out of this. Monster bodies just aren't built for this much DT."

 _And I'll never know if I could have fixed you_ , she thought, silently bemoaning that she would never get to study how excess determination affected a living monster. And then she felt guilty for thinking that.

"No," Undyne growled. "I didn't… come this far to… stop. Do it."

Alphys pressed the activation button.

All over Undyne's suit of armor, several indents and cuts had been made to allow for metal bars that ringed around her limbs and her spine, like a wireframe skeleton. They came to life with a soft whirr, an exoskeleton Alphys had hastily made out of spare parts. They almost made Undyne look like that future-knight from the science fiction episode of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie…

But more importantly, Alphys reflected, it was able to interface directly with Undyne's mind, translating electrochemical thought into muscle movement. Thank goodness she had a few USB cables and another phone lying around to make the mind-machine interface.

Undyne rose to her feet, slowly, then faster as her movements steadied.

"W-well uh, how does it feel?" Alphys asked. Undyne didn't answer, flexing her arm and making a fist. "T-the power cells won't last long, but it'll be enough for what we need to do. Does anything feel off though-"

"Thank you, Alphys," Undyne said at last, voice synthesized and halting, but not from fear. "I know it sounds selfish but thank you. For giving me this," she motioned to the powered exoskeleton that wrapped around her armor. "For giving me a chance to save all monsterkind."

"For being my friend."

Alphys' vision got blurry, and it took her a second to register the tears before she hugged Undyne again. After a moment, Undyne returned the embrace.

 _Way better than the knight from Mew Mew_

"Okay," Alphys breathed out when they let each other go. "Okay."

Less than an hour ago, answering the door felt too daunting for her to stomach, much less risking her life against a human. But somehow, even knowing the danger and what was at stake, with the decision made and Undyne at her side she felt…

Lighter, almost. Calm.

"Let's do this."

* * *

 _ENTRY NUMBER [REDACTED]: ...All data points to a catastrophic event in the near future, one I predict will be severe enough to cause a complete shutdown, if not total destruction of the CORE. Something is going to happen, an anomaly capable of immense and widespread destruction. Will have to investigate further..._

* * *

"Ma'am, with all due respect, we need to get you out of here, now. This area is unsafe."

"All the more reason for me to stay then! I can't very well leave without the rest of my brood! Or would you have me abandon them to- to whatever danger it is you insist is lurking about?"

"Ah, of course not, ma'am, just, how long do you think it'll take to gather up the rest of your… family?"

"Hm… hard to say, I know Regina split off with her own clan somewhere near the CORE, but it shouldn't take too long to gather everyone. There's only a few thousand of us, after all."

"A few-!" the dog-like monster grabbed his head, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else, doing anything else.

I felt about the same.

I turned to Chara, who was also observing the whole thing.

What was it you said? _The way ahead is clear, stop wasting time, let's just go?_ Because I'll be honest, this—I motioned towards the crowd of guards at the stairs in front of some kind of hotel—is not my idea of 'clear'.

Chara glared, storm clouds of smoke rolling off their face and flickering intermittently like sheet lightning. "I just said that to keep you moving, you know, since we weren't accomplishing a lot with you wandering around on the lower floors."

And that worked out great, I thought while looking for a way past the guards. There were the two guards from earlier, those bipedal dogs with black cloaks and battleaxes. But with them were even more guard dogs, one with a huge set of medieval armor, another sniffing curiously at the rocky terrain, and one more having an intense debate with a spider-lady about the morality of leaving spiders behind in a dangerous area.

Just my luck they were all crowded around the only set of stairs that led to the exit.

"Oh for-" Chara sighed. "Just kill them all or something, I doubt they'd slow you down."

I frowned. It's not the worst plan, but I can't help from looking over at the kid, annoyed.

It's about the principle of the thing. I don't actually _want_ to kill them, you know. That's why I was trying to consider a different route.

"You keep saying that! And yet you always end up killing whatever's in front of you anyway," Chara shot back. "Or did you just forget about Toriel and Undyne?"

That was different and you fucking know it. They were actively trying to stop me from getting out of here, these guys don't even know I'm here yet. I don't make a habit of killing people outside of self-defense.

"Mhm, tell that to Silus."

That's-

I froze. So did Chara.

"Where did you hear that name?" I asked, slowly.

"I-" Chara looked ready to fight or bolt. "You don't-"

"TELL ME!" I roared. How dare you. How fucking dare you, you insolent little shit, like you know a goddam thing about why I-

"Hey, what was that?"

"Over here!"

Fuck!

I stepped back, knife already unsheathed and in my hand while I got ready to meet the guards. And judging by the _skitter skitter_ sound of too many feet hitting the ground, I was probably going to end up fighting the spider-lady too.

Joy.

I threw a quick glance backward. When this is over, we're going to have a talk, you-

Then I did a double take. Chara was gone.

* * *

Burgerpants—who had long given up on having his name changed—cleaned the counter for the eighteenth time in his shift, which wasn't even halfway done. "If you've got time to lean, well darling, you've got time to clean!" Mettaton always admonished.

God he hated his job. And his boss. And… most facets of his life.

At best, he was overworked and constantly, _constantly_ the outlet of some random person's frustration that he hadn't gotten their fries in time, or that the glamburger didn't look exactly as it did in Mettaton's show. Over time, he had learned to numb himself to those types of monsters, and thought he was fairly proficient at putting on a fake smile for the day, retrieving pre-made food from behind the counter and tallying it up on the register. It was a chore all the same, but one he could deal with.

But on days like today, where no one was coming in, and Burgerpants was left with nothing but his thoughts and his stupid name for company, he truly felt his job was at its worst. Often- hah, no. _Always_ , whenever that happened, he'd just end up mindlessly cleaning the shop and keeping an eye on the door and the clock, wishing someone would show up, or that his shift would end soon. Anything to distract him from having to clean and constantly think of how he had gotten to this point. Even Mettaton showed up on occasion to berate him for not doing his job as 'fabulously' as he could be doing it.

But not today. The lobby of the MTT Resort was as silent as a tomb, and all the more unnerving and annoying as a result. There was a point at which daydreaming turned to internal philosophical debate about whether or not he was sleepwalking himself through life at the ripe old age of 19 and oh my god he hated his job.

Because of that, he was cautiously optimistic at the sound of a scuffle from somewhere outside. Maybe, if he was lucky, someone who wasn't a complete jerk would come inside and make light conversation for a few minutes. Then he could replay the conversation in his head for a little while.

He could dream, at least.

It was a full forty-three seconds after the sounds outside died down that someone walked through the door. Burgerpants started; he hadn't even heard footsteps.

"Welcome to the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger™," he greeted automatically, as he had done literally thousands of times before. The customer only paid him a little attention during the whole spiel, which was fine, it meant Burgerpants was free to observe the new arrival. Tall, with a heavy coat and glowing red eyes. Probably a bit strung-out judging by how sluggishly he approached, as if life itself was weighing him down.

He could sympathize.

"Can I take your order?" he asked once it was clear the guy wasn't going to say anything.

Those red eyes turned to him, as if finally registering his presence. Burgerpants wondered if maybe it wasn't such a great thing that someone had come in today.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

Ho boy. One of _those_ customers.

"Bad life decisions," Burgerpants answered.

"No, I meant with the evacu- nevermind. I'll have a-" the guy paused. "A… _glamburger?_ "

"Alrighty! Here you go, have a FAB-U-FUL day," he said, reaching next to the register with practiced ease and passing one of the pre-wrapped burgers while the guy paid up. Once that was done he just… stared at it. Eyes fixated on the counter, not moving.

 _Why did I have to get one of the weird ones today?_

"Can I get you anything else, valued customer?"

"Do you ever feel like you've made a mistake?"

He blinked at the non-sequitur. "I work at a fast food joint, buddy."

"Not a little mistake, either," the guy mumbled, probably more to himself than to Burgerpants. "I mean something where you really, genuinely messed up?"

"Pft. Who hasn't?" he tried to joke, then stopped when the guy kept staring blankly ahead.

Burgerpants sighed.

"Listen, guy, I don't know what your deal is. And I don't think wandering into a burger joint and asking for life advice is your best bet-"

The guy looked up.

"-But I'm pretty sure that we all make mistakes, and the best we can do is try and learn from them, move on. And I know that ain't always easy, or possible-" god he knew _way_ too much about _THAT_. "But it's important that we try, y'know?"

"...Yeah. I know," the guy said after a while. Then, "Thanks."

"Don't sweat it, people have breakdowns in here, five, ten times a week."

"Mhm. Thanks for the burger," the guy said as he walked out. Burgerpants glanced down, the glamburger he'd sold was still on the counter.

He watched the doors close, then breathed a sigh of relief when the guy didn't immediately get back inside.

"What a weirdo," he mumbled, reaching into his pocket for a joint.

* * *

 _ENTRY NUMBER [REDACTED]: Preliminary experiments have failed. All models point to an end my actions have only hastened, and now I have no choice but to welcome it. I will do what I must._

 _Please forgive me._

* * *

The first thing I noticed about the CORE were the lights.

It was a maze of neon lights on metal floors, like Hotland's upscale cousin. Circuitry and lights ran across the walls, throwing up a wave of iridescent blue and purple light on everything. Steel hallways and catwalks that hung over clouds that had to be ozone, judging by the smell. And everywhere, side-paths and intersections decorated with industrial equipment and side rooms. I couldn't tell if the whole place was a power plant or a residential area. Maybe both.

But the second thing I noticed was… how quiet it was.

All the puzzles in the area were deactivated, the lasers down and not even doors barred to stop me. It wasn't hard to stay on the main road either; signs cordoned off every detour with notices of " _Full evacuation now in effect."_ and " _Remain calm."_ A few screens were mounted to walls, notices scrolling down of monsters asking if anyone had seen their loved ones, but the only person around to read them was me. All that was really left was the steady thrumming of idle electronics in a very big, very empty room.

If I was feeling more introspective, I'd say walking through the place would have left me with more time to contemplate my actions, where I'm going in life, and how to find Chara.

But for the moment, I just couldn't bring myself to care about that. What concerned me far more than their temper tantrum was how they knew about-

"U-um, you! Stop right there!"

...You gotta be fucking kidding me.

"You may have come this far, but your reign of terror ends now, human! You've walked right into our trap!"

Dr. Alphys was shouting into a megaphone at me, with something that looked very much like a laser pistol in her other hand. But more concerning was the monster right next to her.

Undyne, bruised, beaten, and born again. Now sporting a suit of armor that seemed bigger and more wicked than before, ringed with reinforcing struts that reminded me of the gutted exoskeleton frame in power armor. Eyes were still alive though, still filled with hate.

I knew I should have shot her while she was on the ground.

"A-all of the Underground is counting on us!" Alphys said, maybe to hype herself up. "We can't lose now, so take your best shot, human, we-"

"Fuck this," I muttered.

Faster than either of them could react, before Alphys even finished her speech, I drew my gun and shot her with every round in the chamber.

* * *

Alphys scarcely had time to react when the first bullet hit her.

It was hard to tell how the human would fight. It was fast, she knew that well enough from Undyne, but it was hard to say what kind of tricks the human would have up its sleeve. Still, Alphys was confident that the personal shield generator she fashioned out of spare parts would do the job.

And it almost did.

The first round stopped an inch in front of her, repelled by a shimmering barrier. The scientist flinched, then took a step back with the second impact, then the third-

And on the fourth hit, the shield collapsed. A spiderweb of electricity coruscated into the air in front of her as the barrier was taxed to its limit, and there was nothing to stop the fifth shot from tearing into her.

Alphys fell to the ground. Dimly, she was aware of someone shouting, of a face looking above her, tears falling down a vaguely-fishy face. _Undyne_.

She took a ragged breath. _It's fine_ , she wanted to say, feeling very calm. _It's fine as long as you're up, as long as you-_

Something rolled down Undyne's cheek, and Alphys started to realize just how much of Undyne's face was streaked with tears and how much was _her_.

 _How much of your determination came from me?_

The last thing Alphys ever saw was Undyne's face, melting as her determination surpassed the limits of her broken body.

Then Alphys died.

* * *

You can find out a lot about someone when they're dying.

There are the common ones; a thrill of fear flashing across the eyes of a stone-cold killer. A peaceful man erupting into psychotic rage as his last vestiges of life fade away. You grow used to seeing them after the first six or seventeen, but there were a few that gave me pause, once. This old criminal, some thief with a bounty on his head. He knew I was coming for him, and instead of running or fighting when I found him, he sat down, told me to do what I had to, and awaited my judgement. An NCR soldier stationed near Camp Searchlight, severe case of radiation poisoning. Face all blotchy and half sloughed-off, those guys were so under-supplied they didn't even have painkillers to spare. And the first thing she asked when she saw me—between bouts of vomiting her insides out—was to end her suffering. To just _make it all stop_.

There's a lot to learn about someone when they meet their end, and if you see it enough they tend to blur together. But the ones where you learn something about yourself? You never forget those.

Not ever.

I had torn the limbs off of fiends and fed them to starving coyotes. I bombarded an entire Legion town with kiloton-yield nuclear missiles because I could. I did things no one in their right fucking mind would ever forgive me for, no matter how evil or guilty the targets were. None of it really bothered me all that much.

But this was the first time I made someone _melt from sheer despair until they were nothing but dust_ , and something about seeing it reminded me of those times. When Private first class Andrea Lane begged me to put her out of her misery, the way her skin slide off her face after the gunshot in a _kssschlop_ sound.

It all came rushing back from watching the anguish in Undyne's face as she fell to her knees, completely ignoring me in favor of kneeling over Alphys' dust and whispering _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry_ and _Alphys, Alphys, please..._

Undyne fell to the ground, most of her lower half already liquified. She continued to apologize until she could do it no more, leaving only a metallic skeleton.

Some part of me thought that if Chara was here, the kid would be laughing their ass off. The other part of me plodded onward, through the door and into the next corridor, leaving the dust and the corpses behind. Footsteps were automatic, like walking in a dream. I kept walking until all I knew was that there was an elevator in front of me, and that I'd give anything to not turn back.

I hit the 'up' button and waited for the doors to close before I slumped against the wall. Not out of exhaustion, that's not the right word for why it felt so hard to stay upright. I was…

I was just so _tired_.

The elevator whirred to life and left the CORE behind.

* * *

 _ENTRY NUMBER ?:_

 _I HAVE SEEN IT NOW_

 _THIS SWIFT AND TERRIBLE END OF MINE_

 _UNYIELDING, INEVITABLE, AND…_

 _HOW VERY CURIOUS_

 _UNENDING_

 _WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE ABOUT THAT_

 _LET'S SAY HELLO_

* * *

 _A/N: Well, that's it then. We're almost done. Next chapter coming soon.  
_

 _See you there._


	7. New Home

_A/N: Here's a fun fact; when writing this story, I frequently tab back and forth between the new chapter and your reviews, just so that I can remember who I'm writing for. So whether you've got blind praise, furious vitriol, or, god willing, some constructive criticism, feel free to say it._

 _Normally I beg for comments and such at the end of the chapter, but I felt an author's note at the end would spoil the mood a bit. You'll see why in a bit._

 _Oh and one more thing. Recommended listening for this chapter:_

 _(at the start of the chapter) Undertale Soundtrack: Undertale_

 _Followed by,_

 _(some time later) Undertale Soundtrack: Small Shock (Extended)_

 _Trust me, you'll know when to switch tracks. Or you know, if you're not in a place where listening to those is a possibility, or if you just don't want to, that's fine. Like I said earlier, it's a fanfic, not a movie. Hope you enjoy reading the chapter as much as I did writing it._

* * *

New Home

* * *

 _For the first time in many years, a human arrived in New Home._

 _Like the others before them, the human shuffled out of the elevator and looked around. An ancient underground city sprawled around them in every direction, great towers and dwellings that ringed a well-worn path to an old castle. Like every time before them, the vast city was deafeningly quiet, as though every resident had fled, or was too afraid to make a sound._

 _The human took a step and paused, as if only then noticing the lack of noise._

 _Then they started walking towards the castle, just as their predecessors had done._

* * *

New Home passed me by in a sleepwalked blur.

I was barely taking in the details. A whole city, untainted by war and radiation and hundreds of years of degradation. A little worn and worse for wear over time, no doubt, but still. There were storefronts and hotels and libraries, actual restaurants and an honest to god sign for an _aquarium_.

I bet most people in the Wasteland wouldn't even be able to define that word.

But I couldn't gawk at it. Didn't even want to. Everywhere I looked, windows were boarded up and eyes darted away when I turned to them. Chara told me, once, that the city was always awake, that no other settlement in the Underground could compare.

It certainly didn't fit that description now. The brickwork looked beaten, houses abandoned, and more than anything the city just looked…

Gray. More dead than alive, only still around out of habit.

Maybe I'm projecting a bit.

Just thinking about the kid was enough to pull me out of those thoughts, drag me back to the present, the reality of _gotta keep moving_ and _exit's up ahead if I can just make it_.

I let myself get so absorbed in the motion that I almost didn't notice the house until I heard a crunching sound underneath my boots. Pieces of dried up leaves scattered at my feet, and I saw-

I stopped.

-A very _familiar_ -looking house, directly on the path to the castle up ahead. Two windows, a stone plaque above the doorway, some bushes. Old and weathered, but still standing proud.

It was all so achingly reminiscent of…

(*The kind and lonely old woman who tried to save everyone she could. The way she cared for all who fell. She didn't deserve to die.)

...I don't really know what happened after that. I knew I opened the door, checked out the all-too-familiar interior and all that, but the actions were all subconscious, the way your brain takes over when it knows you're not up for what's coming.

I saw a lock on the stairs, read it, and found out where the keys were. Deep down, I knew I could just vault over the banister or pick the locks, but I didn't. I was a passenger in my skin, too hung up on replaying those words in my head to really pay attention or remember much of anything.

I don't know how I would have made it through that place if I did.

* * *

" _A long time ago, a human fell into the RUINS."_

 _The words echoed through the near-empty house, drawing the attention of the human to the pair of froggits on the floor._

" _Injured by its fall, the human called out for help."_

 _The human barely reacted to their presence, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a key off the counter. They paused at the crumpled recipes in the trash can, hands shaking only for a moment before moving on._

" _ASRIEL, the king's son, heard the human's call."_

" _He brought the human back to the castle."_

 _Again, the human did not respond._

 _The monsters were not bothered by this, and they kept pace with the human as they walked through the rest of the house._

 _Even if no one listened, some stories needed to be told._

* * *

Like I said, I don't remember a lot. And what I do recall seems out of place, enough that I give it 50/50 odds on whether I hallucinated the whole thing or if it all actually happened.

What I _do_ remember is stumbling through that house, which was so frustratingly _similar_ to Toriel's that I couldn't shake the comparisons even in my half-lucid state.

I passed an assortment of monsters I had never seen before, telling me the story of what _had_ to be the first human who fell into the Underground.

An ancient children's bedroom, full of dusty toys and unused beds. A yellow flower pot. A picture on the dresser. Cracked and faded from the passage of time, but clearly displaying the smiling faces of Toriel, some other monsters, and…

 _Chara_.

And it took a little to cut through the realization of just who exactly had been tagging along with me throughout most of the underground, but the rest of the monsters' words that I had been tuning out started to come into focus.

" _...Then… One day…"_

" _The human became very ill."_

I had to get out.

" _The sick human had only one request."_

" _To see the flowers from their village."_

" _But there was nothing we could do."_

I had to _get out._

And I did, staggering out of the oppressive air of that godforsaken _room_ , down the hall and snatching the key off a rogue nightstand even as Chara's death was narrated to me in storybook form.

I almost jumped when I looked up and saw myself in a mirror, not two feet away from me. Red eyes and menacing armor, all of it looking incredibly out of place.

A demon in an idyllic little household.

I don't know why I tried looking into the glass. Maybe just to prove that analogy wrong. Had to take off my helmet so I could _really_ see, and-

(*You saw a pair of tired gray eyes that had seen too much. Two trembling hands caked with blood and dust. A man who couldn't remember the last time he felt hope.)

(*You saw... you.)

-and I paused. Three seconds passed.

Four.

Five.

Then I spun on my heel and walked away. I went to the front of the house, unlocked the gate, went down the stairs, and tried to steer my mind from the uncomfortable realization that I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror.

Or who that goddam voice was talking about.

* * *

 _The human walked through the halls of New Home, and the monsters told the tale of Asriel and the Fallen Human._

 _They spoke of the Fallen Human's last request, to see the golden flowers of their village, and Asriel's attempt to honor it._

 _They spoke of Asriel's power, how he crossed the barrier, armed with the soul of a human. They spoke of his restraint even as the humans tested the limits of his body's durability._

 _They spoke of how he made his way back home, surviving for so long, only to fall into dust amongst the garden._

 _The royal family, heartbroken. Asgore seeking to kill every fallen human._

 _A promise that freedom wouldn't be long now._

 _The human kept walking all the while._

* * *

After everything that happened, a church hall was the last thing I expected.

Yet there it was, right in front of me. Or at least, something that looked like a church. I managed to walk forward for maybe half a minute before I had to stop because…

Because Jesus _fuck_ I don't even know how to begin describing it. For just a moment it all just _clicks_ , and the tiles, the pillars, those windows- had to be stained glass, they were all shining with a radiance you wouldn't be able to find outside of a storybook, the kind you would encounter maybe once or twice in your entire life.

Sunlight was streaming in, perfectly warm and lighting the place up in a way no bombed-out wasteland shelter or earthly church or cathedral or whateverthefuck could ever hope to achieve. The windows reached high and far, taking that light and turning it into this- this pristine shade of gold that was so vibrant it didn't fit with my idea of what the world was like. The whole room couldn't be more than a hundred yards from end to end, but standing there, _being there_ and looking at it the way I was looking at it, anyone could have been convinced they were in the presence of something _truly_ worth worshipping.

It was beautiful beyond all words.

That was a hell of a time to snap out of the autopilot haze I'd been in for so long, because just as soon as the feeling of being so small in such a grand place faded, I heard footsteps.

And standing there, right in the middle of that room and backlit by a thousand windows…

"HELLO AGAIN… COURIER, IS IT?" said Papyrus, with that same unwavering grin. "DID YOU TRULY THINK THAT YOU MET THE GREAT PAPYRUS FOR THE LAST TIME IN SNOWDIN? I DID SAY I WOULD STOP YOU, DIDN'T I?"

"I…" I didn't know how to _begin_ responding to him, and that's when I noticed…

Papyrus's smile slipped a little, then a lot.

"...I'M SORRY," he sighed. "I THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THAT I COULD KEEP IT TOGETHER, BUT…"

And for just a moment, it was like I could see just how much pain was etched on his face, how much of a struggle it was not to break character of 'the great Papyrus', and how very painful it was when that moment finally came and the only one around to see it was me.

"…OH, WHAT DOES IT MATTER," he said, more to no one than to me. "THERE'S NO ONE LEFT TO IMPRESS WITH THE WHOLE 'ROYAL GUARD IN-TRAINING' ACT. AND NO ONE REALLY CARED ANYWAY."

"I DON'T EVEN THINK I WAS ANYTHING TO ANYONE, OTHER THAN SANS, AND-" He paused.

I flinched. Visibly. There was no anger in his words, not even an ounce of judgement, and it still felt like a punch to the gut.

"I'M SORRY," he apologized _again,_ and how fucked up is it that I just stood there? "IT'S… IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, COURIER. I THINK I'VE BEEN ALONE FOR A LONG TIME, I'M JUST REALIZING IT NOW."

Papyrus is speaking from the bottom of his soul. And there I am, the Courier who could talk angry Super Mutants into backing down without a fight, at a loss for words. I used to be _good_ at this, convincing anyone of anything if I felt like it. I did it so many times with such practiced ease and yet…

…It felt so long ago that the words wouldn't even form right.

"You don't belong here," I said, defaulting to another response without even noticing. "I'm sorry. But you should leave."

Papyrus looked at me with an expression I couldn't identify. "YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS, COURIER. YOU KEEP TELLING PEOPLE TO GET OUT OF YOUR WAY, TO LEAVE YOU ALONE, DOES IT EVER WORK?"

And the question is asked so earnestly, it's so utterly bereft of guile that I almost said-

 _No. Never has._

"COURIER, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. I CAN'T MAKE THAT CHOICE, TO GO HOME. I CAN'T SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN. YOU MADE THAT CHOICE FOR ME."

I faced the ground. The words were delivered in that same tone, devoid of any judgement or hostility. If anything, Papyrus sounded _apologetic_. Now I knew what that expression was. It was something approaching pity.

I wished he'd just tried killing me. It would have been so much easier than… this.

"I CAN'T LEAVE. AND YET DESPITE EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE, AND ALL THE DUTIES I HAVE TO STOP YOU, I… I DON'T THINK I CAN BEAR TO TRY."

I looked up.

He sighed, deeply. "I THINK THAT'S WHAT UNDYNE KEPT TRYING TO TELL ME, WHENEVER SHE REFUSED TO TRAIN ME. OR WHY NO ONE REALLY TOOK MY ASPIRATIONS SERIOUSLY, NOT EVEN SANS. THEY ALL KNEW I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PROTECT ANYONE."

Another sigh, so weary I wondered for a moment how he was staying on his feet.

"I GUESS THEY WERE RIGHT, IN THE END."

"Papyrus…" I started, then stopped.

For a fleeting moment, he smiled.

"BUT! I DON'T THINK IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING! BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE, COURIER. YOU CAN LEAVE THIS PLACE BEHIND. YOU HAVE THAT CHOICE, AND IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT ONE TO MAKE BECAUSE… FOR PEOPLE LIKE US, AT THE END OF THE DAY, OUR CHOICES ARE ALL WE CAN CALL OUR OWN."

His grin faltered for a second as he looked at me, and for a second I wondered just how much I had underestimated him at first glance.

"IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO REALIZE THAT. AND I CAN SEE IT IN YOU AS WELL. YOU'VE… YOU'VE LIVED A LIFE WHERE MOST OF YOUR DECISIONS WERE MADE FOR YOU, HAVEN'T YOU?"

The sensation only lasted for a second, but part me of wanted to kill him for that. The knife was at my hip, gun on the opposite side, just like always. It would have been so easy.

And yet...

...

 _Maybe it was because he was right_ , said another part of me. A quieter, more halting part of me. Or maybe all the people I'd killed, people who wouldn't get out of my way, were finally catching up to me in a moment of clarity; that I really had been nothing more than a slave to circumstance, starting the moment I got out of that grave in Goodsprings.

Maybe something was really, really wrong with me, if Papyrus could see it through the armored gas mask.

"I CAN'T PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH, THE HORRORS YOU MUST HAVE FACED TO HAVE A LEVEL OF VIOLENCE LIKE THAT…" He shook his head. "BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ME. AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT… YOU'RE WRONG."

"Wha-" and that was as far as I got before Papyrus… stood to the side, motioning to the end of the hall.

(*Papyrus is sparing you.)

"I THINK WE'VE BOTH SEEN ENOUGH VIOLENCE FOR QUITE A WHILE," he said. "THAT'S WHY... I'M GOING TO LET YOU PROCEED UNIMPEDED. WHATEVER HAPPENS NEXT, YOU SHOULD HAVE A CHOICE IN HOW THIS ENDS. I THINK… NO, I KNOW YOU'LL DO THE RIGHT THING, IF YOU JUST HAD THE CHANCE."

He took a few steps, back the way I came in, before he turned again, and…

"I BELIEVE IN YOU, COURIER. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT."

And then he was gone.

Who knows how long I stood there, silent and still, trying desperately to refute what he was saying. I certainly couldn't tell you if I tried, too occupied with thoughts of _I'm not a goddam slave_ and _everything I did, I did because it was good, because I had to._

The words had never sounded so utterly hollow until then. Even I wasn't believing them.

I stood there for a while longer before moving forward, then halted. There was an unfamiliar weight in my pocket, and I fished it out. A note that _definitely_ wasn't there before Papyrus showed up.

It just said: _-n't risk any more than one trip_

I turned around, about to ask what that was supposed to mean.

But the hall was empty.

Sunlight continued to stream in through decorative windows, bathing the room in golden light that couldn't hold my interest anymore.

I heard the ring of a bell. Louder than you can imagine. Three knells, so loud that you could feel it with your bones more than your ears, the reverberations enough to make me shudder.

Then it stopped. The last fading echo died.

The hall was completely silent, save for the sound of footsteps headed for the exit.

(*...)

 _(*File saved.)_

* * *

 _A/N: …_


	8. The King

_A/N: This would have been up sooner, but the charger for my laptop died and real life obligations prevented me from writing. Maybe when this story is complete I'll go back and remove all these author's notes that only apologize for delays, make more room for the parts that matter so new readers don't have to slog through a bunch of excuses that don't even apply anymore._

 _With that in mind, here's something that I feel I should mention, especially in light of the previous chapter;_

 _This is not a story of mindless violence followed by one heartfelt talk to make it all better. This is not a story about how determination and kindness can win above all, nor is it about how evil always triumphs or something cynical and stupid like that. It's about something that's trivial and vitally important and something we all come face to face with at some point in our lives._

 _This is a story about regret._

* * *

The King

* * *

Looking back, I'm not sure what I would have done to Asgore if Papyrus hadn't shown up.

Would I have simply shot him and be done with it? Just go up to a guy who had never wronged me, leave him bleeding and dying on the floor, and then… walk away, as if nothing had ever happened?

"Dum dee dum," the king of the Underground hummed all the while, oblivious to my presence, to the gun pointed at the back of his head.

…Fucking hell. That's _exactly_ what I would have done.

I shoved the gun back into its holster, too disgusted to keep holding on. Asgore paused at the sound.

"Oh? Is someone there? Just a moment, I have almost finished watering these flowers."

I noticed them for the first time. The garden was filled with yellow flowers, the same kind at that pool in Waterfall, and at the entrance to the Underground…

"Ah, there we are!"

Asgore set down a watering can, careful not to crush any of the flowers.

"Howdy!" he turned around, smiling jovially. "How can I-"

He stopped, taking several steps back.

I don't know what I expected the 'king of all monsters' and six-time child murderer to look like, but Asgore was tall and covered in decorative but functional plate armor. A great purple cloak too grand to be a cape and too convenient to be a robe hung off of his frame, joined together by a royal crest. He had a pair of horns and golden hair. But what struck me were his eyes. They were kind and regal and caring all at the same time, the very model of what a good king was supposed to look like. But beyond that, he looked… more than just weary. _Tired_ , in a way that made him awe-inspiring yet depressing to look at.

I found myself wishing he looked like the more familiar slavers and fiends I was used to. Things were so much easier when the guilty didn't look so much like me.

"Oh," he spoke first, then paused, gathering himself.

(*What are you supposed to say to a man who's seen too much?)

"I apologize," he said slowly. "It has been a long time since I have met a human of your age."

I nodded.

"I…" he sighed. "I so badly want to ask, 'would you like a cup of tea?' but…"

I'm not sure why, but I wanted to accept. The characters in those little pre-war storybooks always had tea, and it only just occurred to me that I never knew what it tasted like.

"Yeah," I muttered instead. "I know."

Asgore nodded, trudging mechanically to the window.

"…Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" he asked, suddenly sounding far away. "Birds are singing… flowers are blooming…"

The tiniest of cracks in his voice, so small and so fleeting that I could have sworn I imagined hearing the _pain_ and sorrow in his voice.

"Perfect weather for a game of catch!"

No, I definitely wasn't imagining it.

He turned to me. His smile was long gone.

"…Though I suppose this isn't the time or place for a game of catch, is it? Just for a little while…" he trailed off.

I couldn't hold back the sigh this time. It rattled through me, it made me aware of just how exhausted I was. I wanted so desperately to take up his offer of a break, but I knew neither of us would want to head towards the barrier if I did.

"It's not," I agreed, because what else was I supposed to say?

Asgore nodded. "Then… when you're ready, step into the next room. I'll be waiting."

He went. I walked past a grand window I would have admired any other day. A pair of thrones lay next to it, one covered up but not discarded, as if Asgore dreamed that Toriel would come back some day and everything in the world would be right again, and he wouldn't be obligated to murder people for their souls.

It was a childish, foolish hope that I had personally made impossible. A few days earlier, I might have scoffed at the idea of it all.

But sometime between then and know, I had learned (or maybe just remembered) not to mock these things. For a lot of people, it's all they have left.

We walked into the next room, neither of us in much of a hurry.

"How tense," he commented. "Just think of it like… a visit to the dentist, if that makes it any better."

It didn't, but I appreciated the attempt.

We came to a stop at an old stone arch, just like the one outside of Toriel's place.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"No," I said. I just didn't have it in me to lie. "Not really."

His eyes fell down. "I am not ready either."

Asgore walked through the doorway. I lingered and wondered—just for a moment—how it had come to this. Because you don't just _arrive_ at the situations I'm in for no reason. I had to have done something at some point that led me to- to _this_. There had to be some kind of answer I wasn't seeing, something that, if I only realized it, I could stop being so god damn unsure about everything.

And you know what? For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what that was. I still can't.

I'm just a fucking courier.

And like clockwork, in the same instance I have that thought, that fucking voice pipes up again:

(*The man who always tried to do what was right, only to become just as wicked and cruel as his foes.)

(*The king who sacrificed so much of himself for others, until there was nothing left of him to give.)

(*You can't tell them apart anymore.)

I stepped in after the king. I told myself that it was because I was done with delays.

Truth is, I think I was just too afraid of what else I might have heard if I stuck around.

* * *

The barrier.

It was immeasurably tall and wide, crackling with charged ozone and ancient magical power that was no weaker in the present than the day it was forged. The king had attacked it with magic and trident in the early days of monsterkind's imprisonment, but it was always he who yielded, never the barrier.

The seventh human stood before the king, both of them watching the light coruscate off the walls in undulating waves. Neither spoke for some time, until-

"This is the barrier," the king explained. "It is what keeps us all trapped underground."

There was no response. Only the barrier's strange wind, howling softly.

"If…" the king stopped, tried again. "If you have unfinished business to attend to… please, see to it."

"…"

"Even if it's just to read a book, or enjoy a walk… take your time. I'll understand."

"No. This is all that's left for me."

The king paused at the certainty in the human's words.

"This is it, then," said the king. "Ready?"

The soul containers rose between them. Three on one side, three on the other-

And one more, empty.

The human glanced at it, then at him.

They were ready.

"...Human," said the king. "It was nice to meet you."

A mighty trident formed between them. Crimson red and taller than even the king.

"Goodbye."

* * *

The hell of it is, I bet we could have talked it out if we weren't so stubborn.

Or- no, that's not the right word. Too simple.

I hadn't met the guy for more than a few minutes, but it was pretty obvious that even despite everything that happened, Asgore was still _driven_. He didn't fight for himself. He didn't _just_ fight for himself. Everyone in his kingdom—whoever was left at least—was counting on him for freedom, for their lives, and he knew it. He'd already lost so much, compromised far too many times in the name of keeping his kingdom together, what was one more dead human on top of the other six?

After fighting my way through the entire Underground, getting _this_ close to the exit, and with only one more person standing in my way, I couldn't imagine how to answer that question.

The king of Monsterkind attacked with a flurry of swipes from his spear. I barely got out of the way in time.

Fucking hell. Asgore was-

(*ASGORE DREEMURR - 80 ATK 80 DEF)

(*He looks just like you.)

- _fast_.

But I'm not exactly easy to hit either. I dodged. I jumped. I rolled. It was harrowing, and that bloodred spear came close a lot more than I would have liked, but none of those vicious blows ever connected. He couldn't hit me—faster and stronger things than him had tried and ended up in pieces for the effort.

And I…

I blinked. The gun was back in my hands, and I didn't remember drawing it.

I hated that killing was so routine, so _reflexive_ that I jumped to do it without even realizing.

I hated that it _hurt_ to lower it, to go against instincts brought on by a lifetime of fighting, but somehow, for some reason, I did it. I still can't quite say why. Any other day, if I had been locked in an underground dungeon and told that the only way to escape was by killing an inhuman child murderer, it shouldn't even have been a choice. The right decision was laughably obvious and yet…

Why was it suddenly so hard to kill someone who was so obviously filled with regret?

And why was it that I always _had_ to kill-

" _You've lived a life where most of your decisions were made for you, haven't you?"_

I stumbled—almost didn't dodge the next series of trident strikes and fire magic, too caught up in the thought of a new idea. It was beyond stupid, to try it in the middle of a fight but…

 _-Ulysses bowed his head in defeat. His ambush, his trap, failed. The true courier stood victorious, Courier Six. Glowing red eyes peered down at him, watching the old courier succumb to his wounds._

 _His lungs were perforated and filled with more blood than air. He could not feel his hands. He was going to die alone in a pre-war missile silo, and no one but The Courier would know what happened._

 _Ulysses managed a rattling cough, then stared at the stimpak jabbed into his chest. The Courier was… hauling him to his feet, dragging him towards the exit. He tried to ask, 'why?' and-_

(*You tell Asgore that there's always hope. That it's not too late to change, even for people like you.)

(*The idea scares him, and you.)

(*Asgore's ATK dropped! Your ATK dropped!)

His attack faltered mid-strike.

The next ones didn't, and I worked overtime to dodge them all.

But in-between them, I noticed something about Asgore. There was a kind of sluggishness to him. He could move with deceptive speed, the way some power armor users might manage to fight against their suit's clunkiness and move far faster than anyone would expect them to. But his attacks weren't ordered and swift anymore, they were-

Desperate. And I think I knew why.

I dodged again, even as my legs ached in protest. I waited for an opening, not to strike, but to say-

 _-The petty outlaw who ran from his family and the law, who turned to a life of banditry to sustain himself. There was a bounty on his head, the byproduct of too much notoriety from stealing and raiding._

 _And The Courier had come to collect._

 _The outlaw stared down the barrel of a gun. He was too resigned to fight back, too tired to do much more than accept whatever judgement came, and he said as much._

 _And then…_

 _And then…_

 _The Courier, the slayer of ten thousand men, the walking terror that brutalized the wicked and struck fear into all from California to Arizona… lowered the gun._

(*You tell Asgore of the times when you showed mercy, even when there was no reason to give it.)

(*You tell him… that it doesn't have to end this way. That you can forgive him.)

(*He bows his head sadly.)

(*Asgore's DEF dropped! Your DEF dropped!)

We paused. For a moment, a minute, I couldn't say. Both of us just stared as if waiting for the other to make a move, or maybe to catch our breaths. Asgore simultaneously looked stronger than anyone—and moments from keeling over from exhaustion. I doubt I was in much better shape.

But in that little timeout, he lifted his head, looked at me. And it lasted for a second or maybe just half of one, but I swear it's as though we both realized that _maybe, just maybe_ there was another way out of this… this god damned mess, and maybe neither of us would have to die for it.

I almost hoped.

And then the moment passed. Reality came back from its lunch break, reminded us that _the barrier is still up_ , and _sometimes you just can't win._

Asgore charged forward and attacked.

(*Seems talking won't do any good.)

(*All you can do is FIGHT.)

I leaped back, revolver in hand and trained on its target. My finger was inside the trigger guard, fighting against the measly few pounds of force that was all that stood between one person and a swift visit to the cemetery.

It had never felt so heavy. It was like trying to pry a blast door open.

(*All you can do is FIGHT.)

Fires erupted all around me. Asgore raised his spear, and this time I couldn't dodge it.

(*ALL YOU EVER DO IS _FIGHT_.)

I-

 _BANG_

Everything stopped.

The fires died. Asgore's spear disappeared.

He fell to his knees, one hand grasping at a crack in his breastplate. The other barely propped him up.

"So…" he breathed out in a ragged, choked, and somehow still-dignified voice. "That is how it is."

He paused. I let him. Maybe there was still some part of me that saw an old man—tired, dying, and full of regret at the end of his road—and deep down, I knew I didn't want to kill him.

Maybe that part of me was long gone and I just couldn't summon the nerve to pull the trigger again.

I don't know.

I just don't know.

"I remember the day after my son died," Asgore managed after a while. "The entire underground was devoid of hope. The humans had stolen everything from us, _again_ -"

He closed his eyes, tightened the fist around his chest, as if the memory caused him physical pain.

"-And in my grief, I declared war. I would kill every human who fell down here. I would use their souls to become a god, and free us from this terrible prison. Then I would destroy humanity, so that monsters could finally live in peace. And my people had hope again."

His breathing was becoming more and more labored.

"My wife… became disgusted with me. She left, and I never saw her again…"

 _Toriel's eyes staring up at mine. A plea for mercy. A gunshot. Silence._

"…What a fool I was. Truthfully, I do not want power. I do not want to hurt anyone. All I wanted was for my people to have hope," said Asgore, and now I could hear _strain_ in his voice.

"I just wanted to do the right thing. You understand, don't you?"

I wish I didn't.

"…I… just want to see my wife again. I miss my children, my family," he said, as if it pained him to admit it. As if he had told no one else, and the only one left to listen was me.

He took another breath.

"Human," he said. "I do not know you, the events that brought you here. But I know that you do not deserve this. Please, take my soul. Leave this cursed place while you still can. Please…" he begged.

"Do not remember me."

The gun froze in my hands, and I…

I…

…

…I realized something.

I never wanted to do this. I don't really know why I got on this path. Not for money, power, or respect. I enjoyed those things—and they came in very handy—but they weren't enough reason to do the things I did. There was a time when I could remember so clearly, the _why_ behind my actions. A sense of justice, maybe. An urge to do the right thing that ended up getting out of hand. Whatever the reason was, I'd long forgotten it.

But you know what else I realized? _Unavoidable circumstances_ didn't drive me to kill Toriel and Sans. There wasn't _no other way out_ but to kill Alphys and drive her girlfriend to despair. It was so fucking obvious that I wanted to scream and howl at myself for being so stupid, but only then did I realize the common denominator in all those cases: At the end of the day, I was the one holding the gun. And _I_ chose what to do with it.

I think that's what Papyrus had been trying to tell me.

I think that's why I dropped it.

Asgore lifted his head—saw the Ranger Sequoia abandoned on the ground. After another moment, he saw me offer a hand.

"…After everything I've done to you," he murmured, "You would… stay? Here?"

What the hell. I nodded.

Ten different emotions played out on his face before it changed to a small but genuine smile.

"Human," he said, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in his tone, "I promise you that for as long as you remain here, I will do my best to care for you. I could find my wife and welcome her back. We could be like- like a family."

And he said it with so much belief, so much hope that I couldn't help but believe him.

Neither of us noticed the little white bullet that shot through him and turned him into rapidly-dissolving dust. Asgore's smile never left his face.

"Well! That was disappointing." A saccharine-sweet voice piped up. A yellow flower sprouted out of the ground.

"And you got so far, too," he mocked. "All it takes to make you give up is- what? A few sob stories and a bit of soul-searching?"

I was starting to react beyond 'surprise' and about to move forward when I saw-

"Oh! And speaking of souls, would you _look_ at what the king left, just lying around!"

The containers from earlier were empty. Six human souls were orbiting Flowey.

He sighed, a reedy-sounding noise. "And to think I had hope for you. I figured you of all people would understand that in this world, it's _kill or be-_ "

Flowey's face came apart in two halves.

I took a step back in surprise, and I noticed that my knife wasn't in my hands, and it wasn't at my belt.

"Hello, Courier."

I looked up.

Gray smoke gathered, rolled, and dripped like candle wax. Tendrils of the stuff reached out to the souls, and they stilled at the touch. But at the center of the little stormcloud was a child in a yellow and green sweater, walking nonchalantly towards me and holding my knife in their hands.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" said Chara. "But pleasantries aside…"

They walked up to me, smoke dissolving the bodies of Flowey and Asgore. _Absorbing_ it into them.

"…We really need to have a _talk_."

* * *

 _A/N: Next chapter will arrive when it is ready. I'm preparing for my exams, so it may take time. In the meantime…_

 _Leave a review, or don't._

 _See you soon._


	9. An Ending

_A/N: Finally._

 _This chapter was not intended for the young or those who are easily unnerved. Viewer discretion is advised._

* * *

An Ending

* * *

I feel like I'm repeating myself here, but have you ever made a mistake?

No, that one's a little too broad, even by my standards. Let me be a little more specific.

Have you ever known you had a problem, something that desperately needed to be dealt with, but instead of fixing it you just set it aside in the hopes that it would go away on its own? And then, when it inevitably blew up and became a much bigger issue later on, you were shocked at the result?

"You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot here. Let's try this again, okay?" Chara grinned.

Imagine how I feel.

"Greetings. I'm Chara. You're the Courier. And you have something that I want."

In hindsight, there were a lot of things that I should have done differently. It should not have taken me so long to figure out how to stop being a murderous psychopath, I should have asked Chara more about who they were and not just about where I was, and I definitely wished I learned how to stop the kid from wielding human souls like a weapon.

"But first, I wanted to thank you. I couldn't have done any of this if it wasn't for you." They took a step towards me, the souls obediently bobbing over their head, like a macabre version of the color wheel. "Because for the longest time, I couldn't figure out what went wrong. Our plan had failed, yet I didn't die, but wasn't alive either. Not until now, after you brought me back."

I was still trying to parse what the kid was saying with what had happened, which is why I responded the way I did when they said that.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Chara never dropped their smile. "I was dead, _long dead_ before you arrived here. But your determination, your spirit to keep moving on despite everything… just being near you was enough to bring me back. Even if I am like _this._ "

They motioned towards the ghostly outlines of their sweater. It rippled beneath the kid's hands.

"Really, I should be thanking you. Not only did you bring me back, but you were such a delight to travel alongside. The way you moved with purpose, how you crushed everyone before you, becoming stronger all the while…"

Chara shivered in what looked like pleasure—a gesture that looked all-too-wrong on the ghostly body of an eleven-year-old. But what got me was their voice. The kid did not sound like a lunatic, or someone who was putting on a front and trying to sound tough. There was a note to their voice that was far too calm, too even to belong to any child. They sounded like someone who had gone completely insane a long time ago and wrapped all the way around to some twisted version of semi-sanity.

I shuddered at how strikingly familiar it sounded. Jesus, was this what I sounded like?

"But now," Chara sighed. "Now there's only one thing left to do."

"And that is?" I wrapped a hand around my gun and pondered the effectiveness of hollow point rounds against ghosts.

Chara looked at me as if only then realizing they were talking to someone and not just monologuing.

"There's nothing left for us here. Let us erase this pointless, dead world, partner. Let's go find something new."

Chara held their hand out, smiling lightly as if _removing a world from existence_ mattered to them about as much as throwing away a toy and buying a new one.

"…You're out of your fucking mind."

Oh, that was out loud.

"I am not." Chara's eye twitched a little. "It is all that is left for us. This world is empty and has nothing for us. We-"

"No," I clenched my fists, felt the handle of the revolver creaking under the strain. " _You_ think that. _I_ still have a place to be. Maybe not in the Underground, but out there, in the Mojave."

"Yes, exactly." Chara's expression lifted, like they'd finally found something in common with me. "There are other places, other worlds out there for us to _visit_. Come with me. With the power of my new souls, and yours, nothing will stand in our way."

The souls that hung over the kid started to pulse as if they had heartbeats. I wondered if they were alive, somehow.

"And doing any of that—getting out of here—means we need to destroy this place? Everyone in it?"

All the warmth, or the facade of it, anyway, left Chara's face.

"What is it with you and your hesitation?" they muttered.

I must have looked really confused if it showed through the helmet, because Chara snarled and continued, "What is the matter with you, Courier? This is about what that guard told you, isn't it? All it takes is a few emotionally-charged words and suddenly you rethink your attitude on life? I don't know how you ended up in the Underground, but you arrived _here_ of your own volition. You killed everyone who got in your way because it was easy. Because it was fun. So answer me this, why are you _here_?"

I-

"No, I will tell you, since you're having so much trouble."

Chara took a step forward, and I backed up. In such utter darkness, it didn't even seem like I'd moved at all.

"Your level of violence, your willingness to hurt others, whatever you want to call it. That feeling of progression, of finding it easier to kill?" Chara sneered, and it could have been shadows playing tricks on me but it seemed like their smile had _far_ more teeth than it should.

"That's why you're here. You can deny it all you want, Courier, but I was in your head. This was always about killing. You're not some misunderstood hero, or some weary vagabond with a heart of gold. You're in a dark and terrible place because that's where people like us belong."

A long silence stretched out before us, and part of me was trying to figure out the most offensive way to tell the kid off, but the other part of me was trying to refute what they were saying and coming up short.

I helped out that monster kid, and Papyrus made me pause like nothing before, but… had I ever done the right thing in this place?

The kid took another step forward.

"…I will ask again, because it is only polite, and you have been a good companion for the most part," they said, "But will you join me? Or-"

That jarred me back into focus. Easiest decision I've ever made.

"I think I'm good on my own, thanks," I said, then flicked an eye to an archway poking out of the shadows. I could hear the faint sound of leaves rustling coming from it. The surface. "My question for you is, am I going to leave peacefully, or are we going to have a problem?"

The kid glared, and for a moment I thought we were going to have a fight after all—but then they nodded and motioned towards the exit.

"So be it then. Go on. The barrier is down."

I went.

* * *

The Pip-Boy 3000A was, and is still considered by many to be the pinnacle of personal computing technology. Developed by RobCo Industries, the small yet incredibly durable wrist-mounted computers are capable of displaying the physical/mental health of the wearer, their possessions, local maps, and can even detect ionizing radiation, a lifesaving aid in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland.

The Courier knew all of this, and made extensive use of those functions. They rarely took it off for anything other than maintenance, and the people of the Mojave quickly began to associate the RobCo product with the mythic hero that walked the desert. Children in some parts of Westside and Freeside would delight in fashioning little wrist braces out of scrap metal to play pretend, and raiders would hesitate whenever they saw a target whose forearm glowed softly with the light of a CRT screen.

However, despite the countless days of use, there was one function that the Courier, and for that matter most Pip-Boy users, remained unaware of.

There were many features that were scrapped from the finished version of the Pip-Boy 3000 product line for some reason or another. Chief among them was the audio recording feature, which never entered mass production due to memory limitations in the hardware. Still, behind debug menus and BIOS firmware, it was possible to access the Pip-Boy's microphone, which was on and recording by default. It could only capture a few minutes of audio at a time before taping over itself, but if anyone wanted to access those five or six minutes of sound, they would only need to press three buttons and turn a dial once to eject the mini holotape stored within the chassis.

The Courier did not know this. If they had, they could have listened to their conversation with Chara (whose voice was noticeably distorted, as if the child had been speaking through a heavy filter). They would have been able to hear the next few minutes of their boots scraping against the stone ground, the soft _whooshing_ of air through an open room-

Then, although no one would ever hear it, the recorder started to pick up something strange. Something that sounded like the warped crackling of radio static and harsh whispers that were almost human.

Almost.

* * *

The journey out of the Underground is easier than going through it.

No one tried to stop me this time, it was just a short walk from one end of a dark room to another. Shorter than that hall with Papyrus. I almost wished I had something to distract me though, because I was really starting to hate having nothing but my thoughts for company.

Normally a bit of introspection wouldn't even be that bad, except you know, when something goes wrong you usually ask yourself things like ' _could I have done better?_ ' or maybe, ' _what did I do wrong?_ '

I didn't get that luxury because looking back, the answers to _those_ questions are kinda obvious. I could have done better. I didn't have to kill everyone who committed the sin of inconveniencing me while I was impatient. If I'd just been more willing to talk, hell, If I just considered doing anything other than jumping to violence as a first and last resort, _maybe_ I would be asking myself easier questions.

Instead I got to ask myself, at what point did killing became so easy, such a learned response, that I practically did it on instinct? And why did it take me so long to even realize it?

Had I just accepted that it was 'the way I was' or some shit like that, just brushed it off as a consequence of everything that I had done?

I wanted so desperately for that not to be the case. But no. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Toriel and Sans, dead because I decided it was easier to fight than try to explain myself. I saw Papyrus, pleading with me that I could still do the right thing if I only tried.

Dammit. This was never what I wanted.

(*You are filled with regret.)

 _Yeah, thanks_ , I felt like saying, but this time I couldn't even summon the will to snap at my hallucinations. Too tired. _I never would have figured that one on my own-_

I paused. Did a double take and looked behind me.

How long had I been walking through this cave?

Wait, shit, that's not right. The tunnel. This is a tunnel. The one that goes from past Asgore's throne room, through the barrier, and to the outside. Yeah.

I shook my head and continued on. It was just a short walk through a dark room but-

I stopped again, glanced down. I swear to god I _just_ passed this rock jutting out of the floor. It bothered me the first time, because despite all the darkness I could see that the whole floor was as smooth as polished marble except for that one rock. It had to have been there for a long time, with how meticulously-kept his house seemed to be, you would have figured that if Asgore could get here, he would have made the entire floor uniformly smooth.

"This whole place must be just past the barrier," I mused to myself. Maybe I was still too used to traveling with someone to keep all my thoughts to myself. "I bet it pissed Asgore off to no end if he was able to see this rock but couldn't get rid of it 'cause he was on the wrong side of… of…"

I sneezed. Which is one of the many things that feels awkward if you do while wearing a gas mask.

That necessitated a brief stop to clean it, but I slipped the helmet back on, started moving again soon enough. With any luck, I'd be out of this godforsaken broom closet and back to the Mojave in short order.

With new purpose in mind, I located the door and set off towards it—then tripped over a rock.

And then I- holy fucking shit _what the hell was going on?_

It's like that little jolt of pain when I land sends me back to reality. Suddenly I'm looking around in the same dark room that Flowey and Asgore died in, except their respective corpse and dust pile is nowhere to be seen, and I'm not any closer to the exit despite having walked towards it for- for I don't know how long.

I can't even see the way I entered this place from.

I tried to gather myself and focus, maybe figure out why I didn't notice anything was happening, but it's impossible. Every time I try I feel sick, but that's not the right world, or no, it's right, but it doesn't carry the same gravity. It's like switching between feeling sober and stoned to high fucking hell off the cheapest, worst drugs you can imagine. I can't remember what the fuck happened after talking to Chara. Just _trying_ to recall is agonizing in new ways, it makes the back of my eyes feel like they're being squished under a vise, like I'm getting phantom limb sensation from a dozen different arms, each one crucified to the walls of an interrogation room-

And suddenly I remember something, maybe it was told to me, or I read it in the Carvings of Creation in Waterfall, but it takes seven souls to shatter the barrier.

Chara only had six. Six souls that danced in a halo above them, pulsing like they had heartbeats- no, no, what the hell am I saying? Even then, they were _writhing_ , like tortured slugs-

I shook my head again, and felt it almost clear up but not quite. Fuck. Was this the kid's doing? It had to be. They were- they couldn't leave without my soul, so they were leaving me trapped here, maybe hoping I'd go insane, then when I was too out of my mind to notice the kid would swoop in and steal the soul right off my bones, like one of those vultures that still haunt Arizona.

Well, not fucking happening. I strode off, back the way I came in. When in doubt, just approach the situation from a different angle. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.

I made my way down the stairs, past the guards who were far too interested in playing with each other to pay me any mind. They groped and howled in ecstasy, these armor-clad figures that oversaw the throne room. One of them ripped the plating off another and dove into its chest, teeth like steak knives that ripped out entrails and made the spectators moan with needy-

I twitched like I'd been shocked. What the fuck was I talking about? I wasn't in the throne room, I was- was-

"Hey! Hey, man, you alright?"

I looked towards the source of that voice, weapon raised to fight whatever Chara had sent after me, only to find the kid.

The monster kid.

"Yo!" he greeted, wagging his tail. "Man, am I glad to see you! Where have you been? I haven't seen you since back in Waterfall!"

I tried to recall what had happened there. Undyne showed up at that one bridge, and I beat her, but where did the kid end up in all that..?

"Come on, man, we've gotta get going now! Unless you want to stay here?"

Yeah, point taken. I nodded, allowing myself to be led by a child with no arms. But he was fast, and I was sweating with effort just to keep up with him. Hell, I couldn't even spare the breath to ask where we were going.

(*You are filled with despair.)

I heard cheering up ahead.

"We're there, dude! Come on!"

I honestly might have collapsed if it wasn't for his encouragement. I staggered my way towards the monster kid, who stood in the middle of a familiar crowd. I could see Toriel, two of her, actually, a few Asgores, an Undyne, an Alphys…

I could have gone on counting them forever, if it wasn't for the heat from that bonfire they were standing around. God it was fucking sweltering in here.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" the kid nudged me, then jerked his head towards the fire.

Then he jumped into the flames.

* * *

If anyone was around, they would see the Courier stumbling backwards in an empty room, muttering, as if it were a mantra, " _You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're not real. You're never real. You're not real. You're not real. You can't be real. You can't be. You can't. You can't."_

The Courier continued to make more sounds, but that was the last coherent thing their faithful Pip-Boy ever recorded.

* * *

I had a half-second of indecision before following after him.

Now, there are two things I want to make clear. First off, there are lots of ways to protect against intense heat. There are still battered fire blankets in the emergency kits of unraided pre-war buildings, and my coat was lined with fireproof materials. But having said that, the best method of not getting burned is simply not being near a fire.

So yeah, jumping into a blazing fire the size of a house is a bad idea, but the kid was in danger.

I jumped forward, and it didn't take long for me to start really feeling the heat. It's entirely possible to have your skin blister so fast that it bursts like an overfilled balloon, to have your blood literally boil while you're still alive.

Which brings me to my next point: if you're in a fire, the best thing you can do is to get the fuck out of it as fast as you can.

And amazingly enough, I managed to pull that one off. I found the kid. I don't know how but I did, and I grabbed him and leapt out of that firestorm, even as the lenses on my helmet started to crack from the heat, and the red glow on my gear didn't go away.

But I got the kid _out_ , and for a moment it's all I can think about. I laughed, laughed until I cried, then kept crying until I was just making these hoarse, throaty sob-sounds over the kid's charred body. I had to tear off my helmet so I could breathe through my smoke-filled lungs, but I did it _I did it I-_

Then he started to melt like wax and drip onto the floor.

"No."

That was me. I was talking to myself.

"No, no no come on, kid, you can't-"

I jerked a hand towards my belt, feeling for the medical supplies I always keep there.

They were all melted too. Hypodermic syringes fused and broken from the heat of the flames.

"It's okay," monster kid says in a voice that's perfectly even. "It's okay, Courier."

"You'll be with us shortly."

He dissolved into dust and ash in my hands.

(*You are filled with… nothing.)

(*Nothing at all.)

I don't know how long I stayed there.

Then _they_ showed up.

Any other day, I would have screamed every bit of profanity I knew. I would have pulled out my gun and shot the kid a hundred times and beaten them until they were in _pieces_.

But there, exhausted and kneeling in front of Chara... I would have compared the experience to being buried alive in an unmarked grave, or being bound and shot in the head twice, but this time I didn't feel any of the burning hatred that had kept me going, kept me alive when nothing else could. Maybe I should have felt embarrassed, or unnerved, or just plain scared that I was about to witness the end of my world at the hands of some sadistic child.

Instead I just felt kind of…

Empty. Resigned.

So I didn't do a goddamn thing. If you're wondering, there wasn't any hysterical laughter on my part. I didn't scream a barrage of curses either. I was just so goddamn _tired_ that doing anything felt exhausting. I just stared blankly at the kid for a while longer until I managed to get my lips to work.

Even _that_ took effort.

"This really what you want?" I asked. They nodded once, decisive.

Determined.

I got to my feet.

My gun felt cool as ice, like it hadn't just been through a fire. I still had a few bullets left, felt pretty sure I could go for another round of the kid's amateur-hour psychological torture bullshit, and- and…

And then whatever will I found abandoned me. It's like I realized in that moment how pointless, how utterly fucking _useless_ the effort would be. What the hell would I even do if I managed to beat them?

Or at least, that's the justification I'm sticking with.

I took a breath. I felt calm. I said-

"Then do it yourself."

Then I finally got around to what I'd always been thinking of doing in the back of my mind. In one fluid motion I drew my gun, put it against the roof of my mouth, and pulled the trigger.

In my last moment of brain activity—right before the bullet obliterated my consciousness—I felt… alone.

Afraid.

And so very regretful that I spent my whole life that way.

Then everything faded to nothing.

* * *

 _A/N: …_

…

…

 _Psychosis (noun): A mental affliction characterized by a severe disconnect with reality, resulting in abnormal thought processes, impaired emotional responses, hallucinations, paranoia, etc._


	10. Begin Again

_..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _In the twisted and torn artificial canyons of the Divide, a sandstorm raged._

 _It was not a natural storm; it was far too vicious, too massive, and it never seemed to end. Given that it was the product of nuclear devastation and Old World science perverted to its maximum, perhaps it was true and the storms would never cease._

 _The Divide's inhabitants learned to deal with it, one way or another. Some sought shelter underground, others bet on their scales and armor to protect them from the metal shavings tossed into the air at speeds that could rake the flesh off of bones. Some of the Marked Men endured it all even as their flesh regenerated to compensate, and their howls echoed across the desolate land, only to be lost to the storm._

 _And above them all, above even the winds that seemed to tear at anything that dared to exist, two figures sat on a rocky cliff overlooking the tortured earth._

 _For the longest time, neither spoke, and neither sat at ease. As if one was waiting for the other to make the first move._

 _And one of them did._

" _Why?" Ulysses asked._

 _The Courier stared at the Divide, perhaps hoping it would answer for them._

 _But it didn't, and eventually the Courier spoke._

" _You're gonna have to be a little more specific than that. 'Why' what? Why'd I skip breakfast this morning? Why is the sky blue?"_

 _Ulysses scowled and the Courier hummed. "Or are you asking why I dragged you here even though it would have been way easier to just let you die in that hellhole of a missile silo?"_

 _Ulysses' scowl deepened, which was all the answer needed. The Courier nodded, turning towards the ruined metal and the radioactive sandstorms that would probably outlast life itself._

"… _I don't know," the Courier said at last. "I just don't- fuck, what were you hoping I'd say? That it was the right thing to do? That I thought you could be forgiven, and that was enough reason for me?"_

 _Ulysses scoffed, "Do you think men like us can ever know forgiveness?"_

 _The Courier stopped and thought about it._

" _Do you think we deserve it?"_

 _But there was no answer. No noise at all, except for the merciless sound of sand beating against rock._

* * *

Begin Again

* * *

I don't know how to describe what happened after that.

I don't know if any word or combination of words _can_.

One moment I had a gun in my mouth and I'd just made up my mind for the last time. I could see Chara's eyes widening in shock—maybe they hadn't expected me to actually go through with it all—before everything just went _away_. I felt, vaguely, like I was falling in a dream, but not waking up. Even that was muted, my whole universe had stopped revolving around the senses of the body, a consequence of blowing my brains out with a weapon most people can't even wield without hurting themselves.

And then my last shred of sensation disappeared. I was still awake, aware, but it wouldn't have mattered much if I wasn't. There was nothing left to see or feel. It wasn't pitch black, like when you close your eyes in a dark room. It was just nothing. Hell is an echo chamber dominated by whispered memories and the final thoughts of my fast-fading mind. It reminds me of old regrets and the desperate wish to do things over, only for nothing to change.

I suppose there are worse places to be.

I wonder how many pieces of me were still thinking that when I ate a bullet. In my experience, shooting someone in the head is a pretty definitive way of putting them down, but as modern medicine is quick to tell us, total somatic death still takes a little while to set in. Brain activity continues, _lingers_ even after the cerebrum's lying in a million pieces. Maybe those fragments are all that's left, and these are just the last ramblings of the mailman's oxygen-starved and ventilated brain, just as meaningless as any drug trip.

Christ, with all the cybernetics and shit jammed into my skull, maybe I'm not even that lucky. These flickering thoughts could just be running on microchips hooked up to rotted meat, trying desperately to keep running even on minimal power and-

The world snapped back into focus, clear as day. Clearer than even that.

Everything, by the way. Not just sight. There's the familiar weight and gentle pressure of my helmet around my head. Numbness I wasn't even aware of was gone in an instant, and once more I could _feel_ my legs and arms, which seemed a little bruised but otherwise okay. And of course the flowers pressed against the glass of my helmet's visor.

I take back what I said earlier. Hell could be full of nothing but yellow flowers and I would never know the difference.

But I can't even focus on that because after I sat up, verified that I was in the same bed of flowers I landed all the way at the start of the Underground, I wondered what the fuck happened. Because I was no longer in darkspace and contemplating the futility of everything I did. I was kneeling in foliage and coming to grips with the fact that I still had my knife and gun, and had definitely _not_ used the latter if the full cylinder and my intact skull was any indication.

 _That_ sparked an odd question for the more analytical side of me. You know, most of your thoughts are just electrical pulses and chemicals being in certain areas in certain amounts. I didn't lose my memories, so did I just get- what, teleported back here, with my mind exactly the way it was a few moments ago? Or was it all reset back to some arbitrary point in time, and this was me trying to reconcile my past mindset with my present memories?

It barely crossed my mind that I could have just hallucinated the whole thing. Maybe I was so desperate to think I wasn't crazy that traveling back in time was the more plausible option.

Maybe it's because I knew what it felt like to be so full of despair, so _ready_ to give up, and know there was no way any dream or half-baked illusion could mimic it.

I sighed. Thinking about it like this was just going to give me a fucking headache, something I had no desire to experience after that hallucinogenic fugue state I was in.

No, for now I would just- do what I always do. Gather information, form a plan. Get out of here. Don't make the same mistakes as last time.

Although speaking of last time, things were already different. Hadn't I injured myself on the fall? I distinctly remember something like that happening. And where was Chara? They were right here when I-

Something moved in the flowers next to me.

I whirled around to face it, so quickly and so silently that whoever it was didn't notice. I saw a pair of arms stir before a kid sat up- and that's the operative word, it really was just a kid. A part of me panicked and thought it was Chara. Another part of me scoffed at myself for being afraid of a child, then swiftly reminded itself that some way or another they'd beaten me.

Then the kid turned to me, and the fear ebbed away when I realized it couldn't be Chara. She—at least I was pretty sure it was a she—was probably the same age and had the same build as the ghost, but that was where the similarities ended. This kid had brown eyes and hair, a face that didn't seem nearly as cruel as Chara's, and was looking right at me with the kind of expression you would reserve for a masked lunatic with glowing eyes and a gun in his hands.

(*You saw-)

 _Oh fucking great. Cool,_ I thought. _You're here too. What were you going to say? What is it that I see, huh? A scared little girl? Or-_

(-*Someone who looks just like you.)

And that kinda made me stop when I realized the kid's fearful expression hadn't gone away while I was raging at the voice in my head.

"Uh, hey," I started, then winced when the child shrinked back. Either she was really shy, or I still looked and sounded like a fucking murderer. Which I was, but-

You know what I meant.

I put the gun away and took off my helmet, slow enough that it didn't seem alarming.

"Kid?" I tried again. If my track record with Chara was anything to go by, I wasn't incompetent at it, but talking to children wasn't my strong suite. Still, I was determined not to alienate the only person I'd met so far. "Uh-"

 _Who are you? What the fuck happened to Chara, and the souls? Why am I here again? How-_

"My name's Six. Courier Six." I paused, wondered if the kid would answer. "What's your name?"

A few seconds passed, long enough for me to consider dropping the question for something else, but then…

"…Frisk," she said after a moment, in a voice that didn't sound like it saw much use. "I'm Frisk."

"Well, Frisk," I looked around. "This place-"

 _Toriel collapsing into a pile of dust Sans with a knife burrowed into his skull Undyne cradling Alphys' broken body Asgore's hopeful expression crumbling with the rest of him-_

"-Is a little dangerous to go through alone. Do you…" I paused at what I was doing. Considering how it went the last time, did I really want to try taking this kid along with me for the ride? Knowing what was in store?

And then I remembered the alternative would be to leave a child on her own, in a place where half the inhabitants would kill her to secure their freedom, and I wondered what the fuck was wrong with me. I was so goddamn tired of writing people off as a loss, either by leaving them behind or killing them for being in my way.

And yeah, maybe this was all still some fever dream, maybe it wasn't. I just knew I didn't want to make those same mistakes again.

"-Do you want to try getting out of here together?" I asked.

Frisk hugged her arms against her striped shirt.

I held out a hand.

Neither of us moved for the longest time.

Then, slowly, the kid took my hand.

There was something hilarious about the sight of the kid trying to wrap her little hand around the massive bulletproof gloves of mine, but I didn't laugh. I held on tight enough to be reassuring and gently enough to avoid breaking bones, and I gave the kid a nod.

She nodded too, and made an effort to smile up at me.

We had an understanding, I think.

We walked off together into the Ruins, and I might have felt just the slightest bit relieved, that after everything, there was still someone who was willing to put their trust in me.

…

(*The child, who you sought to protect, and your resolve to correct past mistakes…)

(*The desire to do the right thing, despite everything you've done, and everything that's been done to you…)

(*It fills you with determination.)

* * *

 _A/N: Did you know that after posting chapter eight in April, I didn't write at all for three months, then consecutively wrote nine *and* this in less than three days? Because now you know. Sorry for the wait._

 _That aside, I wanted to thank you for your reviews. I know I say that a lot, but I mean it. When this story is complete (something that I very deliberately avoided doing last chapter, some of you noticed), I'll probably remove all these notes from previous chapters so the fic's less bloated, but you can bet that the final chapter will have a very special thanks for your reviews. They really are a big part of why I write this story, and I wanted to let you know that even if I don't respond, I do read them, and I especially appreciate them. Honestly, the main reason I don't write back, outside of the occasional PM, is because I don't want the chapters to get cluttered with messages to reviews that you have to go back five pages to see._

 _There was a moment though, where I pondered marking the story as 'complete' then posting this a few days later, but I figured too many people would notice and lose their shit in the time between the previous chapter and this, so I ended up not doing that. But man, can you imagine?_

 _I teased it before, but congratulations, we now see the RESET mechanic at work in the story, and it's not just the same world with a new Courier, in fact, this is only the start in a line of differences that- well, I wouldn't want to spoil it. I'm sure I'll write the next chapter in less than a year._

 _See you next time._

 _PS: I do hope that the ending to that last chapter wasn't too… troubling, for those of you who aren't in the best of places. They say to write what you know, I just hope it didn't seem too familiar to any of you readers._


	11. Heartache

_A/N: Would it come as a shock to you if I said that one of the main reasons I put an author's notes at the top is because this website's text formatting doesn't allow me to start a chapter with a line break, thus necessitating something to be above the chapter so that I can have the double line breaks above and below each chapter's title to give it its aesthetic?_

 _Nah, that theory is a little too out-there, even for me._

* * *

Heartache

* * *

Of course, getting there is half the fun.

Last time I was in the Ruins, a leisurely walking pace was enough to get me from start to finish in maybe half an hour, not counting detours. But that was an entirely different era, a more innocent time, when survival was paramount and all else was immaterial. That was a century ago, in those halcyon days when no amount of armies or monsters could stop me if I so willed it, and the idea that the spectre of a child could do so was laughable. It was a lifetime ago.

It was yesterday.

This time isn't quite as seamless a journey. For one thing, my traveling companion is an all-too-mortal human child and not an invincible ghost who's been here before, which meant long-forgotten puzzles like that fucking spike bridge actually slowed us down since she couldn't just wade through the surrounding water like I had.

That's okay, it still doesn't stop me for long.

"Thanks," she said as I set her down on the other side.

"No problem," I replied, shaking the water from my boots.

Our conversations were pretty firmly in the monosyllabic realm for a while. Which, to be fair, I get it. If I was her, I wouldn't be too eager to spill my life story to someone who reeks of old blood and moves without making a sound despite carrying an armory's worth of weaponry. As for me, I'm not feeling too chatty myself, so caught up in my own thoughts about how after everything I've been through, _how the hell am I going to keep the both of us safe_ and _why is she even here this time_ but most pertinently, _what the fuck happened? What am I going to do?_

I'm mulling that last one over in my head when we run into our first monster and I realize Frisk hasn't moved.

 _That_ had been enough to startle me. Most of my previous companions were pretty handy to have around in a fight, and hardly needed me to look after them. Don't get me wrong, we watched each other's backs, but I wasn't too used to the idea of having to protect the person I was traveling with.

So the first time a Froggit hopped out of a pile of leaves and into my way, I didn't even react until I noticed that Frisk wasn't at my side, she was standing right in front of it, returning the monster's curious gaze with equal intensity.

You ever see an ex-soldier get startled? How their entire body goes through its own micro-seizure then scrambles to reach for a gun that isn't there?

I did something like that, except the gun was definitely there. It was in my hands and pointed straight at the monster in the blink of an eye.

But they must have been laser-focused on each other because neither Frisk nor the Froggit noticed me fumbling in the background, weapon at the ready and trying to figure out a plan that somehow didn't involve violence. _Killing the thing just for getting near us feels wrong. Way too wrong, after all the shit that's happened so far. Should I just grab the kid and run? Or-_

(*Froggit hops to and fro. It doesn't seem to know why it's here.)

Frisk nodded to herself, as if she heard that same voice I'd been stuck with for so long. She looked at the Froggit, me, and…

"Ribbet," she said. Then, after a beat, "Ribbet… ribbet?"

All three of us stopped to ponder the kid's words of wisdom.

"…Ribbet," the Froggit agreed sagely.

(*Froggit seems too reluctant to keep fighting.)

Then it jumped back into the leaves.

Frisk nodded to herself, then went back to business as usual; walking through the Ruins, just slow enough to look in every nook and cranny, and just fast enough to make me fret like some kind of overly-concerned mother.

"You… might want to be a little more careful," I cautioned the kid after we got held up by another Froggit. "Some of the monsters in here are not as friendly as others."

Frisk stopped for a moment, and I think she even realized how much it was worrying me if the wave of concern that passed over her face was anything to go by.

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll try."

She didn't.

Or maybe she did try and was just really bad at it. We ended up getting acquainted with a few other kinds of monsters. A Whimsum, a Loox, and a pair of Moldsmals (if the voice in my head can be trusted, and what a fucking sentence _that_ is). Some of them just rounded a corner and saw us by sheer coincidence. A few were looking for a fight.

Whenever that happened I would take a step forward to clue in a few monsters that attacking her was bad for their health. Other times, Frisk defused things before it got out of hand. Sometimes by making a joke, complimenting the monster's appearance, or lying on the ground to get a better understanding of the situation.

I'll be honest, I've talked my way out of a fair number of fights, but that last one was a pretty new strategy even for me.

"That was an… interesting tactic," I said when she got off the floor and finished waving goodbye to the Moldsmals, who began to gradually slither away.

Frisk just shrugged.

"It worked," she replied in the tone all children who had never been wrong before possessed.

I still thought about telling her off but I didn't have the heart, or lack thereof, to do it. _She's just a kid. You're a complete stranger,_ I told myself. _You'll probably end up traumatizing her. It's not like she's ever had to deal with something like that before._

It didn't take me too long to revise that opinion of my latest ward.

See, I'm a little more perceptive than most. At least, when I'm not too busy grappling with the mental trauma I've been collecting as a hobby over these last few years. In fact, I've gotten pretty good at reading people, especially those who are actually human and not monsters, of the mutated or underground variety.

So as we journeyed on, I could see the ways in which Frisk was just slightly _off._ Little tells that almost but didn't quite escape my notice.

I saw how whenever a new monster would appear she would flinch back instinctively, these little shivers that she suppressed before anyone else could notice it. The involuntary way her eyes didn't quite meet mine when she turned to me, even after I let my helmet hang at my side and reminded myself not to glare at everything.

You didn't need to be a detective or a psychologist to tell that Frisk had her own issues to deal with. The kind that you don't get from an easy or peaceful life.

Common enough if you grew up in the wastelands.

But that was part of a bigger issue, wasn't it? Like I said, I'm not blind, I didn't just look at the obvious details, I looked at them and wondered what they implied.

My geiger counter had yet to go off once during this whole journey. The monsters' Grand Mural of History back in Waterfall didn't match with anything I'd ever heard of. Frisk's clothes weren't totally clean but the fabric looked new, you'd never find them in post-war America. Not to mention the entire, you know, community of underground monsters, and I don't _care_ how well-hidden they are, you can't keep something like that from the notice of the raiders and tribes that roam most of the country in search of something to ruin. Someone, somewhere, would have heard about it.

Do you know what goes through my mind when I look at evidence like that? It's something I don't want to acknowledge, because then I'd be admitting to myself that this hasn't all been some big delusion and this shit with the monsters and magic and Chara really did happen. But even more terrifying than that is how all these little context clues tell me that wherever I am—and whatever is up on the surface—is very, very far from the Mojave Wasteland, or hell, anywhere in the post-apocalyptic shithole world I'm so familiar with.

And I _still_ have no idea how I got here. Or Frisk, for that matter, but I couldn't just go up and ask her because it seems a little obvious that people who jump down bottomless pits in a mountain are probably not in the best of personal situations, and they _definitely_ wouldn't like being interrogated about it, either. There are some things you just don't tell to anyone, not even your best friend in the whole fucking world.

Suffice to say, we weren't that close. We were two mostly-strangers who were just traveling together because going at it alone was less appealing. So even though it was galling, to go against my inquisitive-but-good-natured problem solving routine, I didn't press Frisk for the details of her life story. I didn't try my hand at roadside psychiatry. All I could really do was… be there.

And I did.

Or tried to, at least. I kept an eye on the kid, enough to bail her out of trouble if it looked like the monsters we encountered weren't going to be dissuaded by friendly conversation, while still letting her explore at her own pace. And if she took a second to get through the puzzles I already knew the solutions to, I gave advice and waited patiently instead of dragging her by the hand through the entire thing.

"I found it!" she celebrated, flipping a hidden switch and unlocking the door for a particularly annoying puzzle.

"You did." I tried to be encouraging. "Well done."

The kid smiled like no one had ever told her that before.

I don't know why, but for some reason I think that's the saddest fucking thought I've ever had.

* * *

After that, it takes about ten minutes before things go wrong.

The worst part of it is, nothing bad would have happened if I hadn't been there.

The kid did her usual routine and dashed into another room while I was keeping an eye on some curious monsters that had been eyeing us for a few minutes. Realizing she was gone prompted me to rush in after her, which is how I found her having an animated conversation with a ghost.

Not a ghost like Chara, a ghost that literally looked like how they do in the cartoon holotapes. Just imagine a guy covered up by stark-white bedsheets, float him a few inches off the ground, and give him a pair of perpetually-watery eyes that look more goofy than scary, and you've got a pretty good idea of what I was looking at.

Neither of them noticed me standing off to the side, but that wasn't too surprising. They were so wrapped up in their talk I'd have to stand between them to be seen.

"i usually come here to be alone, er, more alone than normal," the ghost- (*Napstablook), the voice in my head supplied.

"Mm." Frisk nodded and gave a patient smile.

"i guess it's nice though. meeting someone here who's nice, i mean." Napstablook's pauses were stilted and awkward beyond the limits of what the socially inept should be capable of, but to his credit he kept the conversation going; "hey, do you want to see something? let me try…"

The water around his eyes gathered, then dripped _up_ , coalescing into- something. A top hat, I think is what he was going for. It looked more like a misshapen drum barrel.

Satisfied the thing was harmless enough, I turned back towards the way we came in and kept an eye out for any other monsters. I felt pretty sure that after the ghost was done with showing off that party trick, we'd be able to get moving again-

Something hot and sharp went _through_ my shoulder, and everything that wasn't combat instincts went out the window for me because _something just shot me_ and I should know how that's not what happened but my nerve endings feel like they're on fire and all my experiences are screaming _what are you doing you idiot take cover and shoot back you don't have a lot of time you have to-_

"oops! i'm so sorry, i didn't see y-"

But the words come just a little too late, and I'm returning fire long before something as banal as _reasoning_ comes into the equation.

On that note, have you ever fired a gun in an underground corridor?

It's deafening beyond all imagination.

The Ruins are as silent and serene as ever right up until they aren't, and I'd bet you could hear the gunshots from both ends of the place. Frisk's hands shot up to her ears instinctively as she cringed in pain, and all five shots rippled through Napstablook's center of mass, each one having about the same effect as pebbles against water: you disturb the surface, but you don't kill the pond because it's a fucking _pond_.

And by the time I've processed that I haven't actually been shot, that it was just a magic teardrop from a ghost that happened to scratch me by accident, Napstablook has already skipped town (and I can tell because I can faintly hear him saying "sorry, sorry, sorry," the whole time), Frisk is staring at me with wide and frightened eyes, blood leaking from her ears in little rivulets, and I'm standing there holding a smoking gun like some trigger-happy-

 _(*Murderer.)_

-lunatic.

The last echoes of the gunshots fade out, and all that's left is the ringing in our ears of permanent hearing damage and a silence that's a lot more tense than it was just a minute ago.

…Jesus. I couldn't even act like a normal human being for less than half an hour into our journey-

And then Frisk's survival instinct kicked in. She scrambled to her feet before taking off in a sprint while I was still moping.

"Wh- shit. Wait! Kid!"

That was my eloquent response as I got up and started after her.

But apparently I must be a lot more tired from all this than I thought, or maybe getting hit took more out of me than I realized because somehow a girl who can't be older than eleven managed to outrun me in just a few seconds.

And my shoulder still burned. Like it had been branded.

I don't know how I'd ignored it at first, but the pain almost seemed to ratchet up over time, going from merely-annoying to outright debilitating. It took everything I had just to stagger my way to a dead tree.

I couldn't help it. I snarled, slammed a fist into it, hard enough to shake loose what few leaves were left on it. What the hell was wrong with me? First that whole mess with Napstablook, and then I chase after the kid as if I can convince her I'm harmless after trying to shoot the guy? How stupid was that? I…

That ache in my shoulder was throbbing like a second heartbeat, each one sending out a spike of pain that- no, I wasn't imagining it, it was definitely getting worse. I jammed a stimpak into my shoulder, then some Med-X. Neither did anything to stop the constant searing and-

Drowsiness…

Something dripped from my undamaged armor. It was too monochromatic to be blood.

What the fuck was _wrong_ with me?

I sank to my knees. I couldn't stand anymore.

Something rustled the leaves to my right, and I managed to turn. A face came into view, ageless and graceful. Familiar rust-red eyes, so full of this- this kindness that didn't seem like it should exist in a world as colorless and tortured as ours.

I thought to myself: _You again._

Because believe me, I haven't forgotten her. In another time, not so long ago, in another place, not very far from here, I put a bullet in that face. I watched it turn to dust. But there she stands, Toriel in the flesh, catching me as I fall to the ground, hands aglow with magical light.

I know what it means when you start to see dead people and you feel yourself slipping away.

She's here to deliver me from this life.

I made an ugly whimpering sound from the back of my throat. I think I started to weep, but that's just a guess. Everything feels really dull all of a sudden.

I'm dying. I'm dead. I don't know how such a little wound could possibly lead to this but it's happening and after countless brushes with death, I'm still not ready.

Somehow, something about what I just thought drags me back, brings the world into focus just a little bit more. And I might be grasping at straws here but I keep repeating the words to myself like it's a mantra, as if it can save me.

 _No, goddammit, I'm not… ready to…_

Toriel was saying something, worried lines appearing in her face before we're suddenly a lot closer, and it takes my mortally wounded ass a minute to realize she's carrying me.

 _Stop. I…_

I can't see anything anymore. I can't even tell if I went blind or closed my eyes because I can't feel them.

All I can do is repeat myself like a broken holotape.

 _I… Can't…_

But it's not enough, and I die for the second time in the same day.

* * *

…

No. I'm bullshitting you. Of course I'm not dead yet.

That would be too easy.

Though it could have fooled me at first. I was in a dreamless, senseless void once again, and I could barely get my muddled thoughts together enough to think through whatever near-death experience I was going through this time.

On second thought, maybe this went a little beyond near-death and I really did die—including back with Chara—and wherever the hell I am now is just the place your consciousness (or soul or whatever they're calling it these days) goes before waking up again in a field of flowers or some bullshit like that. But until that happens, I get to enjoy being without sensation once more in the exciting realm of That Which Comes After Death:

A purgatorial existence in an eternally still and abandoned place.

I've been here once before, and didn't enjoy it all that much. I'd prefer to leave sooner and not later.

And wouldn't you know it, it seems I won't have to wait long. Something's tugging at me even though there's _nothing_ to pull, but I start to move anyway. My senses are beyond scrambled but even then I'm aware of the doorway in front of me, beckoning me forward into its arms, reaching forward and-

Wait.

It stretches to full height once I'm there, this black and white thing with too long a face, like a wax statue that got melted and frozen way too quickly.

This is not a door.

Its _hands_ array themselves before me, and I'm too mesmerized to do anything in response until I hear a voice, but that's not really the best term for it. For one thing, the creature's mouth doesn't move one iota. For another, the sound is nothing like normal speech. It's like someone modulating the motors on an electric hair clipper into the approximation of a voice. Only a couple words, but it's clear as day and it's apparently more than just noise, it fucking beams information into my brain as well, a vision of a great machine I'm certain I've seen before, though only from afar. Its mechanical guts churning with primordial lava and energy. A sense of urgency, that _this is our last chance. We have come so far. There can be no more delays. You must-_

" _Find me."_

Dimly, I realize I've seen it before but this is the first time I've _seen_ it, this thing that's hid behind the mirage of those grayscale not-monsters in the Underground. It's been trying to talk to me for a long time, and now we finally meet. It's gaunt, it seems to blur at the edges like an apparition, and it speaks only with its hands in this mad yet perfectly-coherent blur of sound that I comprehend without really knowing how.

I try to respond with a "Who are you? What are you talking about?" and "That machine—isn't that all the way in the Core?" or even just a simple "What the fuck?"

But it's barely finished speaking those two simple words before my whole world shifts sideways and I'm tumbling head-over-ethereal-ass back to the land of the living.

* * *

 _It happened for the first time with Arcade Israel Gannon, a few months after the Second Battle of Hoover Dam._

" _I…" he paused, then continued on. "I don't… think I can do this anymore."_

 _Those solid red eyes stared back at him with all the expressiveness and motion of a statue. Yet Arcade couldn't shake the feeling that his words weren't being considered as much as they were being acknowledged._

 _There had been a time when that wasn't always the case. He still remembered, with clarity, the day he met the Courier. How one traveler had walked into the Old Mormon Fort and convinced him that he could still make a difference in the world. After and not before the same traveler had secured the Followers of the Apocalypse with a steady supply of badly-needed medicine and successfully treated several patients from severe drug addiction._

 _Arcade had remembered feeling proud to join the Courier, even if it meant he had to leave his medical career with the Followers behind. And for a while, he felt more than proud, he felt fulfilled. There was an ineffable sense of satisfaction to bringing a battered solar power array back to life in a desolate wasteland. A kind of accomplishment to ridding the Strip of its more corrupt elements that couldn't be had by simply stitching up the same wounds on the same people day after day with the Followers._

 _That didn't happen so much anymore. All they did now was kill people._

 _Arcade had never really considered himself to be some icon of virtue by any measure. Nor did he cry over the deaths of the kinds of murderers and psychopaths the Courier seemed to favor hunting. But, he realized after he caught himself staring into space for the seventh time one quiet night, he just didn't have it in him to continue any further. Maybe there was just some limit where the human mind couldn't accept any more violence, however justified, without coming to some kind of breaking point._

 _If that was the case, Arcade felt reasonably certain he was reaching his limit._

" _I just… look. The person I signed up with, who would take the time to help people without resorting to this-"_

 _He gestured to the bodies of the dead and dying Fiends all around them. Torn flesh and blood was strewn generously around the road, and Arcade made it a point to avoid looking at one of the few raiders who had died with her head intact, haunted expression preserved and staring back at him._

" _-I don't know how else to say this, but you're not that person anymore. And it's taken me a while to realize that, but I don't think I can follow you now that I have."_

 _He wondered what the Courier would say. If there'd be a comment about how serious the situation must have been, to hear an honest-to-god confession from Arcade without any sarcastic remarks. He wondered if there would be an attempt to convince him otherwise, that deep down, nothing had changed and there would be some attempt to appease-_

" _Alright, then. I understand."_

 _Arcade floundered. "W-what?"_

" _I get it," said the Courier, so calmly it was as though they were simply discussing the weather. "This type of thing just isn't for you."_

 _There was a moment, just one, where the facade slipped and Arcade thought the Courier's voice took on an almost mournful note._

 _But it had to have been his imagination because in the next second the expressionless mask and toneless voice were back in play, with no sign of any slip-ups._

" _Maybe you're right and you should leave," said the Courier._

" _..." Arcade found he didn't know what to say, not when he'd been expecting any other response. Was the Courier not even going to try and convince him to stay?_

 _Those same red eyes glanced back at him from the corpse they'd been looting, as if curious why he was still there._

" _Go on, then."_

 _He did. At the moment, he couldn't imagine doing anything else._

 _Arcade walked off into the desert, back towards New Vegas. He never saw the Courier again._

* * *

When I woke up again, for real this time, I was immediately aware that I felt warm, and that it was hard to move. In front of me was a fireplace that crackled with flames that seem pleasantly warm no matter how close I got. There were blankets draped over me, which I discarded after only a few moments of struggling.

Still, you learn to be thankful for what you get.

But what was even better than all that was the utter lack of pain I felt as I got up. I rolled my shoulders experimentally, and felt- fine. Better than fine. I was rested. I was ready to go, and all that despair, that self-hate that consumed me after my little episode caused Frisk to run off? Fuck that, I am _back_. I've even got a mission now: to find that machine in the Core, and figure out why my dreams are haunted by a demonic skeleton with a speech impediment.

I'm not at all concerned that maybe I'm being led to a trap, or that this is all some attempt at mind-controlling me or something. Wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's happened so far. Wouldn't even qualify for top five.

…Actually, that's a lie. I _am_ worried about whatever the hell just transpired, from the part where such a tiny attack somehow brought me to my knees, to the fever dream that felt far too vivid and reminiscent of my earlier brush with death for my liking, but what else was I supposed to do? After all, I just got a personalized invitation via telepathy for a meeting with the only entity that sounds like it actually knows what's happening to me, and- what, I'm supposed to just _ignore_ it?

I'm being manipulated. It's obvious to me even as it's happening, but there's a saying about desperate people doing strange things, and once you cheat death twice in just a few hours without really knowing how or why, you start to entertain all kinds of ideas as long as they have a chance at figuring out what the hell is going on.

But before I could do any of that, there's someone I need to see.

I looked around. I know this place. Toriel's living room looks just like I remember it, worn and lived-in, but clearly maintained and cared for. This wasn't a house, it was a home.

I shook off those thoughts and started looking through the rooms. Where would- oh.

Frisk walked out of the first door on my left and came to an immediate halt when she saw me.

"…Hey," I said after a beat.

There's not a whole lot of ways to open a conversation with someone after you traumatize them. Just trust me on that.

"…Hey," she said.

"I'm sorry I shot the ghost you were trying to make friends with," I offered after another beat.

Frisk opened her mouth to speak, then paused and closed it before patting me on the back. _No hard feelings. Please don't do it again,_ she managed without a word.

I nodded.

Frisk tried to give a reassuring look. She hadn't forgiven me. Not really, if the nervous way she smiled and her obvious hesitance to approach me was any indication. But the fact that she put in the effort anyway? I'd take it. It was more than I deserved.

"Thanks for…" I gestured at nothing. "That. Anyways, what happened while I was out?"

"Well-" she started to look at the ground, then aborted the motion and looked up and behind me. I turned around.

"Oh, you're up!" said Toriel, and if I had any more doubts about this all being some elaborate hallucination, they were gone now. There was no mistaking the monster's droopy ears and fashionably purple robes. It was all exactly like I'd remembered from-

"I am glad to see you are well enough to be on your feet!" she beamed at me, then nodded towards Frisk. "Your sister was very worried about you when she found me, you know."

Whatever I was going to say, I forgot it. I looked over at the kid, who suddenly found the floor very interesting again.

"…Yes," I said slowly. "My sister. That is… exactly what she is."

Toriel nodded distractedly, glancing back towards the kitchen. "Well, while I'd like to check up on you later—your injuries were rather severe, after all—why don't we go to the table, er- Courier, was it?"

The table? Why-

She grinned when the kid and I sniffed the air and came to the same conclusion.

"I baked us a pie! I do hope you like butterscotch and cinnamon!"

* * *

Toriel handled most of the conversation at the dinner table, but that was just fine as far as me and the kid were concerned. Neither of us were particularly talkative, and we were too hungry anyways.

"I apologize," she said to me once we were done and started working on doing the dishes. "But I do not think I have a bed large enough to fit a human of your size."

"That's fine," I said. With luck, I'd be out of here before that became an issue. "If you could loan me those blankets from earlier, I can just sleep on the floor."

"Oh, thank you for being so understanding," the monster said in relief. "Perhaps tomorrow I'll see about building a new bed frame. I can't say carpentry is my strong suit but you'll certainly need somewhere to spend the nights if you're staying and…"

Right. That was my cue to leave. I had come up with a plan while we were eating, and it had to stay on schedule for any chance of working.

"Thanks again for the pie," I started to leave the kitchen.

"It's no trouble, dear! Tell your sister there's more pie if she's still hungry!"

I walked back to the kid's room. The door was already open and she was inspecting some of the worn and dusty children's toys next to the bed.

I coughed. Frisk looked up.

"I think you should stay here for now," I said.

She stared at me, blank expression unchanging.

"It's safer here than in the rest of the underground," I continued. "And Toriel's a good person. She'll take care of you. I know that-"

Frisk shook her head so violently that for a moment I wondered if she was going to incur a spinal injury.

"Woah, calm down," I raised my arms. "What's wrong? Do you not like Toriel or something?"

"No," she said, reverting back to her signature quiet voice. "She's fine."

"Then what?"

"I-" she refused to meet my eyes. "I can't stay here."

"Why's that?"

Frisk opened her mouth, then closed it after a moment of thought.

"What's so important that you have to leave here to get to it?" I asked, a little frustration bleeding into my voice. At her silence, I continued. I doubted I'd get an answer but it wasn't like I'd get to ask later. "…Why are you here, anyway?"

"Why are _you_?" she muttered, but not so softly that I couldn't hear it.

It stung a little, that I literally could not answer the question. Everything leading up to me falling into this place was still one big blur that I'd gotten no closer to solving. Although even if I knew, I wondered if it was a story I'd be willing to share.

Like I said, I would imagine that happy people don't choose to fall into a forsaken underground cave.

"I can't stay here," she repeated, and this time there was _real_ conviction in her voice, the kind that could move mountains and topple nations.

When she spoke again, she met my gaze. "You understand, don't you? _I can't stay here._ I've got…"

She trailed off. That momentary fire in her eyes went out, and for a while we just stood there, staring as if to will the other into action. Both of us stayed silent when the quiet sound of Toriel's footsteps on creaking floorboards neared us, at least, until it finished passing by the room.

I waited until I heard a door close down the hall before speaking.

"Alright," I said. "We'll go then. Both of us. But you follow my lead out there, got it?"

I held out my hand. Frisk eyed it for a moment, then nodded.

"Got it."

We shook on it. Then, by some unspoken agreement, we left immediately.

Alright, so the plan where I would just head straight for the Core and leave the kid with Toriel was now in shambles, but this wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. Even if the kid tolerated rather than trust me. This was- acceptable. Workable. I could do this.

"This is the only way out of the Ruins," I explained once we went down the staircase. I doubted Toriel would be able to hear our voices from all the way over here, but I kept from shouting anyways. "It's locked, but I might be able to blast it open. Or pick it."

"You can pick locks?"

"Yeah." I glanced back at her. "You can't?"

"No," she said, as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world.

I struggled to comprehend that for a bit. "Do you at least have any bobby pins on you?"

After giving me a strange look, she shook her head slowly.

…What a weird kid. Who _doesn't_ know how to pick a lock?

The intricacies of our backgrounds had to wait for later though, because once we turned the corner we were there, at this big pair of stone doors that probably hadn't been opened in at least a few decades. It's a lot less impressive-looking the second time around.

I hadn't noticed it my first time through here, but sure enough there was a keyhole nestled into the runic carvings on the door, and it doesn't take ten seconds for me to-

The door burst into flames.

 _God._

Frisk and I turned around to see Toriel, fire magic swirling in her hands and all around us.

 _Damn it._

"You… you would leave? Just like that?" she asked, and she sounded so offended, so obviously hurt, that I didn't know what to say.

Then she took a step forward, anger and resolve clear in her posture before glancing over us.

"Do you even know what awaits you in the rest of the underground?" she asked, so quietly I had to strain to hear it. "Are either of you aware of what the rest of Monsterkind will do to you? They- Asgore will _kill_ you."

The flames intensified at her words, becoming more hotter, more solid. I stepped between her and Frisk.

Toriel narrowed her eyes at me, specifically. "You do not care, do you?" she asked, and this time her voice was pleading, "Perhaps, Courier, you have no fear for yourself, but what of your sister? You can't believe you will both be safe out there. Please. Just go back upstairs."

Frisk was still behind me. I held onto her hand but didn't dare to take my eyes off of Toriel, or the fires dancing around her. None of us were willing to yield to the other, and in that moment I think we all came to the same conclusion.

"…So be it, then," said Toriel, this time without an ounce of the kindness she always seemed to carry. "If you insist on ignoring my warnings, then I must demand one thing of you."

The fires gathered into pillars, whipping and writhing like a bunch of angry vines. Frisk squeezed my hand tighter as they closed in.

Toriel steeled herself. "Prove to me, that you are able to defend yourselves."

It was only then that it occurred to me, as if from a great distance, that my free hand was resting on the hilt of my knife, and probably had been the whole time.

The realization had never made me feel so disgusted before. Suddenly it was like I was staring at Asgore again, neither of us willing to fight, neither of us wanting to kill the other. But we tried all the same, and it didn't _matter_ how much I regretted that violence was my go-to method of problem solving. It didn't change the fact that I still did it anyways.

Papyrus was right. What a miserable fucking life I'd been living, where lying, sneaking, or killing was how I dealt with other people.

(*Not much of a life at all, is it?)

In that moment, as Toriel held a column of fire in her hands, I made a decision.

I took a step forward. I met Toriel's sorrowful, determined gaze.

"No," I said.

The fires grew hotter. Toriel actually faltered for one micro-instant before her eyes hardened with the kind of resolve afforded only to the desperate.

"You have to," she- said? Pleaded? Threatened? I can't say for sure. What I did know—in one single frightening moment of clarity—was how often I heard that very same phrase in my own head, usually right before I did something I knew was wrong.

The fire evolved past the threshold of 'sweltering' and had transitioned firmly into 'blistering' territory. My instincts screamed at me to use the knife.

Then I remembered, just for a moment, how that ended. How familiar Toriel's expression had been before I killed her. The look of someone who died full of regret, someone who died wanting so desperately to change what had already past.

I knew that look all too well. I've worn it twice now.

"No," I said again. "I don't have to fight you."

Toriel looked as though she was trying to figure out if it would be best to attack or tell me off again.

"I can't say that you're wrong," I admitted. "I know you don't want us to leave and get killed. Or kill anyone else. But I do know that what you're doing isn't the answer. Fighting us, sealing the exit, it's not going to fix anything. I know you're lonely here, and afraid of what might happen…"

I still remembered Undyne's haunted expression as she kneeled over Alphys' corpse. Sans and Asgore, both of them faced with death and not quite ready for it. And… whatever the hell Chara had done to me, right before I decided to end it on my terms. I doubted I'd ever forget any of it.

The pause grew a little long, and I hesitated before continuing, searching for the right words. "But I promised myself, when I woke up in those flowers at the start of this place, that I would do the right thing. Even if it wasn't easy. And I know I can't do that if you keep us from leaving."

I'm not sure why I said it, but I added…

"I don't… really know what more to say but… I know you'll do the right thing, if you had the chance."

I took my hand off my knife.

There was a longer silence this time, filled in only by the crackles and roars of a great many fires.

They all sputtered and went out a few moments later.

"That," Toriel began, then cut herself off, working her jaw and figuring out what to say.

"I did not expect that of you, Courier," she said at last. "You do not seem the type who would choose to talk rather than fight."

"…Yeah," I agreed. I only felt a little offended at what she said. Mostly because it was correct.

Toriel huffed out a sad little laugh after a moment. "Pathetic, is it not? I could not even stop someone who refused to fight."

"You're not pathetic," said Frisk. She stood to my side now, and I wondered if she caught Toriel's pained expression at her words.

"…Still," Toriel managed to continue, "My fears… my loneliness… it haunts me even now. I worry for both of you, and those who might encounter you," she said to me.

I couldn't blame her for that. Not really.

"If you truly wish to leave the Ruins, you may. However," and here she looked stricken, "Please do not return. I… hope you understand."

I did. I hoped Frisk did too.

As if thinking the same thing Toriel bent down to hug Frisk, so gently and yet so very desperately, as if she could shield the child with her arms alone. For some reason, it pained me to keep watching them.

"I'll just… wait for you outside," I said awkwardly, then stepped through the doorway before they could reply. After all that, I wanted nothing more than to sit down for a minute, and the clearing up ahead looked pretty inviting.

So of course, it wasn't.

"Golly, you must feel really proud of yourself."

I stared at the flower that had spontaneously erupted from the earth.

Flowey was glaring. If he had arms, he would have had them crossed across his nonexistent chest.

"You have all the power in the world to change this world, and _this_ is what you do?" His face started to twist and distort, like Chara on a bad day. "You don't deserve the-"

Okay, fuck this.

I grabbed him by the stem and ripped him out of the ground.

"Listen to me," I ignored his bug-eyed panicked look and slipped into the easy rhythm of speaking the only language people like him would ever understand. "I'm trying to be better right now, but these past few days have been really rough. It's made me a little short on patience. So I'll make this quick and easy for you to remember-"

Flowey made a sound that could have been a squeak or a whimper, which was the response most people had whenever I would pull a sword out of my coat, flick the valve to ignite the flames, then press that fiery blade just a little too close to their necks for comfort.

"If you even think about trying any of your tricks near me, or the kid, I'll rip the eyes out of your skull and tie them in a loop around your neck. I'm going to use this-" I pressed Gehenna closer, the writhing flames dancing across the blade, inching closer to Flowey's struggling form. "-to weld a little smiley face into you, and then, _then,_ I'll start to get _really_ creative. Do you understand what I'm getting at here?"

I squeezed a little, which was just the incentive Flowey needed to gasp and nod his head up and down, inasmuch as anyone in his position could without hitting the flaming sword in my other hand.

"Good, then we have an understanding," I dropped him on the ground, then leveled the sharp end of Gehenna at him. "Now run along. And if you ever show up again…"

I wasn't sure how I was going to end that sentence since I already threatened him once, but fortunately he got the message. Flowey's head whipped up and down and disappeared into the ground.

I flicked off the burners on Gehenna and stowed it under my jacket. Not long after that, the doors opened.

"Hey," I greeted the kid, whose eyes were a little red-rimmed, but still focused and sharp. "You okay?"

Frisk wiped at her eyes. "Yeah."

I offered a hand again. "Ready to get going? Or do you need a moment?"

She took a breath.

"Let's go. I-" she stopped and sniffed twice. "Why does this place smell like spent gasoline?"

"Uh."

I faltered for a second, then took her by the hand and started to lead her away.

"Don't worry about it."

* * *

 _A/N: I was split between this and 'Heartaches by the Number' as a chapter title, but was afraid not enough people would get the reference._

 _And yes, I'm aware this chapter took a while. Mostly because of a combination of other obligations, a worsening medical condition I have to contend with, and my own procrastination. I still intend to complete this story within the near future, however._

 _Also, fun fact: canonically, Courier Six receives no memory loss as a result of being shot in the head during the intro to the game. Any references to amnesia/poor memory on the Courier's part in this story is a result of things which shall become clearer at a later date, as well as my personal interpretation of the Courier's backstory._

 _On a side note, do you think this story will ever get big enough to the point it'll have its own tvtropes page?_

 _Yeah, I suppose that's a bit optimistic._


End file.
